Subway Sagacity

January 10, 2008 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I do not know why people bother spending the time or money to hire professionals. Some of the most sage advice I have ever read has been scrawled on the subway posters which grace dank innards of our city. For the low price of $2 you get access to an open forum where no subject is off-limits. I once read an ongoing debate about Alexander Hamilton and Federalism at the Fulton Street stop of the G. The quality of these tomes (the person arguing against Mr. Hamilton referred to him as a “plutocrat”) surpassed a number of college theses I had the misfortune of grading when I was a teaching fellow.

If I was a policymaker for this fine city, one of the first things I would do is equip subway stations with blank posters and markers; if someone had a question, needed advice or just wanted to “talk”, he (or she) could bounce it off his/her fellow subway patrons by writing it on the “subway forum board”. Unfortunately, I have no hand whatsoever in how this city is run so I have to rely on the brave scofflaws who provide their own Sharpies.

The first bit of advice I am going to share with you today comes courtesy of Greenpoint’s very own Crosstown Local: the proper manner in which to hold open a subway door.

Always hold it open with your foot!

New York Shitty analysis: I emphatically agree. You should always use your leg; its much sturdier. Delicate hands can get hurt by those closing doors, so be careful!

Next up comes an offering from the L train platform at Metropolitan Avenue.

Cool as a Cucumber

New York Shitty analysis: Wow. This must be ONE VERY BAD MOVIE!

Miss Heather


4 Comments on Subway Sagacity

  1. SouthOfNYC on Thu, 10th Jan 2008 7:23 am
  2. If I was there in Greenpoint, and if there was a city provided whiteboard and marker, I would write “Free Hard Hat Hanna!” on one repeatedly. Oh where has she gone? have the forces of Permit Violating Evil Doers kidnapped her and bricked (with mis-matching colors of course) her into a basement under one their fedderboxes? Did she naively hitch a ride with a DOB inspector… and end up in the East River? Inquring minds want to know.

  3. guestofaguest on Thu, 10th Jan 2008 7:25 pm
  4. Sounds like a great plan! We’ll supply the posters and the markers.

  5. mikeypod on Sat, 12th Jan 2008 7:30 am
  6. oh how I have missed you Miss Heather. I have been horribly behind on my blog reading…sooo busy. Glad to see you are still at the top of your game!

  7. missheather on Sat, 12th Jan 2008 7:32 am
  8. You should totally come back up here sometime. Shoot me an email and let me know what all you have been up to. I am dying to know!

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