Weekend Round-Up: Springtime In Greenpoint

April 7, 2008 by
Filed under: Bum Shit, Greenpoint Magic 

The first breath of spring weather last weekend was greeted by my fellow Greenpointers in good form:

  • 3/31/08: a toilet is left on my block
  • 4/4/08, 11:40 P.M.: someone sees fit to do #2 in said porcelain throne using what appears to be legal paper as toilet paper. (Not that I am complaining, mind you. Someone deposited a hefty helping of diarrhea on my stoop two weeks prior. The fact someone used this privy gives me solace that there is some semblance of decency in this city.)
  • 4/5/08, 2:30 P.M.: I saw a drunk chap sipping from a can of Foster’s Lager with a straw
  • 4/5/08, 7:00 P.M.: I saw a chihuahua in a dress
  • 4/5/08, 8:30 P.M.: I saw a VERY inebriated dude getting loaded (no pun intended) into an ambulance in front of a liquor store on Manhattan Avenue. It took four EMS workers to do it.

Springtime in Greenpoint is something to behold, folks. I have experienced eight of them and have yet to be disappointed.

Case in point:

Something about the warm weather brings out the (already) impish nature of my Garden Spot brethren.

Note the use of tense, e.g.: Karen eats dick whereas Lenny ate dick.

As did “Fuser”. The gentleman (whose shoulder can be seen in the above photo, a MTA employee no less) was initially alarmed by my shutterbugging. When I explained to him that this was the third instance of someone “eating dick” I had seen in as many days in Greenpoint he left me alone.

Go figure.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Oh yeah, if you haven’t read about it already some guys managed to drive into Newtown Creek at 3:00 a.m. this morning.


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