Spotted On McGuinness Boulevard: Imperialism

Given the spate of rather nasty weather lately yours truly has been spending a great deal of time indoors. Today when the temperature reached a downright balmy 38 degrees I decided to take a little stroll down McGuinness Boulevard. I had a very pleasurable excursion until I reached the intersection of Java Street. This is where I found myself standing in slack-jawed amazement at the following.

Why do the people responsible for this crap think mimicking the Death Star somehow denotes “class”?

I mumbled to myself. Then I proceeded to cross the street so as to take a closer look. That’s when I learned that the above edifice may very well have the same expansionist designs, “Manifest Destiny” if you will, as espoused by Darth Vader, et. al.

Why can I not shake the image of a python unhinging its jaws and slurping down a rather large and unhappy mammal— or perhaps a spider injecting some digestive substance into its victim and waiting for it to rot from within— when I behold the above grotesque? Needless to say I will be watching with rapt interest to see how the guys at 285-303 McGuinness Boulevard (which has racked up a rather impressive number of complaints and a Partial Stop Work Order) will work around this little problem. My prognostication is as follows: if they fuck with their diminutive neighbor’s satellite television it will be war. Provided of course it hasn’t escalated to that level already.

In any case (and to close), I suspect no one will be surprised to know this edifice (which I have christened “The Anacondo”) springs forth from the G-E-N-I-U-S, north Brooklyn’s good friend and Greenpoint’s gift that keeps on giving … (drumroll, please)

Bobby Scarano, stand up please!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Anyone care to place bets as to when Fox News/Murdoch’s Tuskin Raiders send a television crew out to document this atrocity? They point and click in single file (to my web site) to hide their numbers!


6 Comments on Spotted On McGuinness Boulevard: Imperialism

  1. d on Tue, 25th Jan 2011 8:53 pm
  2. That’s appalling! It reminds me of something I saw on Curbed or Brownstoner that featured a letter from someone who came home from work to find her window bricked up (with photos). The construction next door was allowed to do that. I don’t know what happened with that but I find it hard to swallow that it could actually be legal.

  3. missheather on Wed, 26th Jan 2011 12:13 am
  4. You’ll be sad to know that the builder was perfectly entitled to do this. We have no entitlement to daylight. Learned this when I underwent the educational requirements to be a real estate agent.

  5. slr on Wed, 26th Jan 2011 11:06 am
  6. Oh my goodness, what an eye sore!!! Have people lost all creativity? Death star, indeed. They will build until we cannot see the sky

  7. missheather on Wed, 26th Jan 2011 2:23 pm
  8. @SLR: You know, that little house may not be much to look at but the old lady (Polish methinks) who lives there grows the loveliest hibiscus plants. We’re talking bushels at least four feet tall and blossoms the size of saucers. She deserves better than this.

  9. stupidnwrcklss on Wed, 2nd Feb 2011 4:39 pm
  10. i live across the street from this hideous mass, the view i have from my window is depressing. To look out and see this grey. drab structure dampens my mood daily. But worse its just ugly in the sense of being a condo, something greenpoint no longer needs. Right across from this very condo, sits another condo with sky high windows which is have been available to live in for over 2 yrs i believe and still has vacancies. Despite the huge inconvenience this building is and overall shiteous view and it has ruined my view of the skyline the building wouldnt be too bad if the workers werent assholes. Not only do these workers make unecessary noise including playing with firecrackers and bullhorns in which they yell sexist remarks at one another, they are also peeping toms. I cannot leave my blinds open bc i have already caught these bastards staring in whenever they get bored with playing with tools. Disgusting, you cant even walk past them when they are “working” because you will be treated like a piece of meat.

    As for the lady in the little house, yes she is polish and the jewish men that bought the property for the condo offered her a large amount of money to sell so they could add onto her property and in no uncertain terms she told him to shove it. Which was a happy day around my block. The idea that anyone esp greedy jerks such as these ppl to come into this neighborhood and think they were going to buy out ppl who have lived in the same place for 20+ yrs or in my case grew up in the same house for 23 yrs is insulting. Especially since anyone who lived in greenpoint in the 90s knew that in order to have a nice house around here, it tooks lots of work and time and these ppl wont hand over their hardwork freely for some money. I am proud that there are still some like my family and the polish lady who stick to their principals and damn the man!

  11. missheather on Wed, 2nd Feb 2011 4:47 pm
  12. Its funny you mention the street harassment because I actually made it a point to stop walking by this property because the “men” (if you can call them that) act like pigs.

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