New York Shitty Day Ender: Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship

September 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


It took me awhile to get them uploaded (YouTube has been malfunctioning) but here they are. My stunning defeat and the final match of this weekend’s Robot Monkey World Chimpionship. Who won, you ask? You’ll have to watch to find out. Enjoy!

New York Shitty Loses, Part I

New York Shitty Loses, Part II

Finals, Part I

Finals, Part II

And The Winner Is!

And that’s all she wrote!

Miss Heather

Sponsors Wanted: Robot Monkey Chimpionship

September 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


Dan, the man behind the robots writes (in regards to this post):

Guess who’s coming to Greenpoint on the 26th?!  I attached the sponsorship info if you know of any wise individuals or businesses that want to sponsor a team.  See you there, I hope.  I owe you and your man so much for helping me last time.  I’ll buy you drinks at the very least.

Mister Heather was a hero at the last event. He donated AA batteries and a screwdriver (or two) so as ensure the hilarity would proceed. And it did! We felt it was the right thing to do. It was a matter of Greenpoint pride.

And yet despite the Williamsburg Versus Greenpoint Robot Monkey Wars being heavily seeded in our favor, the Garden Spot still lost. But we did so with style, a prodigious use of profanity and an utter disregard for good sportsmanship. This made me proud. For this reason I am going to hustle the $50.00 necessary to make team NEW YORK SHITTY happen! I don’t care if we win or lose— I just want to give my good friends in Manhattan a few compelling reasons why they should stay on their side of the river.

Here’s how you, fellow Brooklynites, can too!


By clicking on the above image you should get a print quality image you can annotate and send to Dan “The Toy Man” Walker via email or snail mail. Both are indicated on the form.

See you Saturday.

Miss “Ready to Kick Some Manhattan Ass/Act Like a Sore Loser” Heather

THIS WEEKEND: Robot Monkey Chimpionship II

Remember this spring’s Robot Monkey Chimpionship between Greenpoint and Williamsburg? Well, if you don’t you can refresh your memory by clicking here. I attended and had a hell of a time. Therefore, I am pleased as punch to announce that this Saturday, September 26, starting at 4:00 p.m. the second chapter of the Robot Monkey saga will begin with…


Tip to the wise: be sure to stick around for the end. The contestants get much more interesting after they have been drinking for awhile.

Robot Monkey Chimpionship, Brooklyn Versus Manhattan
September 26, 2009 4:00 – 10:00 p.m.
224 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: Part III

April 22, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


As promised, here is the third installment of live footage I shot from last weekend’s Robot Monkey World Chimpionship. This, the final segment, features the rules of the game, some good-natured shenanigans and four of Greenpoint’s finest businesses waging war against Williamsburg and in one case, each other:

  • Brooklyn Standard Vs. Kellogg Diner
  • Papasito’s Vs. Number 9 Lighting
  • Dandelion Wine vs. t.b.d.

Once again Lily is in good form. They should make her a robot monkey coach. Seriously. Enjoy!

I suspect I speak for many who were present at this event when I say more such tournaments should be held. Bushwick against Williamsburg or Greenpoint immediately come to mind. Are you listening out there, Dan?

Miss Heather

Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: Part II

April 20, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


Or: Lily Speaks

This installment features Lily Peachin of Dandelion Wine battling it out in the quarter finals against d.b.a. Although Dandelion Wine lost (and pretty badly at that) her running commentary through out the game and increasing frustration (who knew she took her robot monkeys so seriously?) makes this worth viewing. So be sure to watch the second half. Funny stuff!

You can see more footage from this event by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: Part I

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


Here is the first installment of last night’s Robot Monkey smack down brought to you by Dan Walker and t.b.d. New York Shitty Analysis: as the evening waxed on (and the contestants became more intoxicated— which I suppose should be expected with half-price Jameson and Absolut shots) the sportsmanship began to erode quite a bit. But as you will see this only served to make things all the more entertaining. Enjoy!

Brooklyn Ale House Vs. Mikey’s Hook Up

The Brooklyn Kitchen Crest Hardware Vs. Brooklyn Ale House

Brooklyn Ale House Vs. Brainewave Consulting

I will be uploading more highlights from this most pleasurable diversion tomorrow— so stay tuned!

Miss Heather

2009 Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: And The Winner Is…

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Number 9.

Man oh Manischewitz was the Williamsburg versus Greenpoint robot battle fierce last night! Greenpoint’s very own Dandelion Wine* made it to the quarter finals but alas 11211 prevailed. Follows is a slide show of the event for your Sunday morning entertainment. Enjoy!

More video footage will be  forthcoming later today— because you know what they say:

It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

And let’s just say the game was played very interestingly.

Miss Heather

*Who will be featured in today’s New York Times. Mazel Tov!

P.S.: In somewhat-related news those of you who have been wondering what’s up with this lot next door to t.b.d.


It is no longer available. The owner of t.b.d signed a lease two weeks ago and they are creating an outdoor garden/annex. I have it per a very reliable source it will be up and running Memorial Day weekend. So mark your calendar!

Domo Arigato: The Robots Are Coming!

April 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


I came across this— what will undoubtedly be THE social event of the season— via a blog (I highly recommend) called Blondie & Brownie. In fact I like the way they wrote about it so much* I am going to hand you over to them for the 411. All I’m saying is:

  1. I like watching mechanized things beat the unholy crap out of each other.
  2. You bet your sweet ass I’m filming this.

In all seriousness this “interactive installation” by artist Dan Walker sounds like a helluva fun way to while away a Saturday night.  Check it out!

Robot Monkey World Chimpionship
April 18, 2009 starting at 6:00 p.m.
224 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

*The even incorporated a Styx reference. Bravo!

New York Shitty Day Ender: The Agony Of Defeat…

September 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

but not really.


My team* was eliminated in what was the lowest scoring match of the entire tourney. In other words: New York Shitty came in dead last. I am not in the least upset by this. In fact, I found it to be a tremendous relief: it meant I didn’t have to stick around for finals unless I wanted to. As I recounted to Dan the Robot Monkey Man after my ignominious defeat:

People are always fighting to be on top. I prefer being at the bottom. No one will try to take that distinction away from me. It’s mine for the keeping.

Needless to say there will be Robot Monkey footage to follow. The final round was fierce— but Brooklyn won!

Miss Heather

*Who I want to thank wholeheartedly. You guys played a LOT better than I would have! Thanks!

Has Anyone Seen Helen?

September 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


I found this flier on Green Street as I was headed to T.B.D. to see how the Robot Monkey preparations are going (they’re going well, if you’re lest you are wondering). If anyone has seen Miss Helen please contact her people at the above telephone number. She is sorely missed. Thanks!

Miss Heather

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    Pigeon outside funeral homeSuited for the RainThe Waiting RainI Love MH (Monster Hunter)Play Sand34th Street & Herald Square StationEvans and Little StreetsVinegar Hill - January 2019
  • Ads