Fresh Direct Is Keeping Cool, How About You?

August 18, 2008 by
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

I have a confession to make: I’m a bit grumpy today. Those of you who have sent me emails and have not gotten a reply, it’s nothing personal. I am simply not in the mood to talk to anyone.

The reasons I am cantankerous are triple fold:

  1. Despite my hyper-vigilant slathering of 35 SPF sunblock, I missed a spot yesterday and got burned. It’s a small area mind you, but it is located in an irritating as hell location: the back of my neck.
  2. I cleaned out the refrigerator today. Disgusting as usual.
  3. I beheld the following in the bathroom while executing point #2.

The Mister and I have gotten into some interesting arguments discussions about his habit of throwing plastic bottles into the bathroom trash can. Here’s an excerpt from one such dialog from last weekend.

Miss Heather: Man, do not throw the (excised)ing plastic bottles away in the bathroom garbage can!
Mr. Heather: I didn’t throw them away.
Miss Heather: ?
Mr. Heather: I placed them there until we bag the recycling.

There are a couple faults with the logic Mr. Heather chose to employ, but I will leave the more apparent one for you to mull over. Rather, I would like to deconstruct the following sentence to illustrate the other:

I put them there until we YOU bag up the recycling.

I will readily admit I am not the most tidy person in the world— but I am not the filthiest either. For this reason I do not like picking through a basket teeming with dirty Q-tips and the usual niceties to be found IN A BATHROOM GARBAGE CAN to place plastic bottles in the recycling bag. A bag, I will remind you, that is only LOCATED FOUR FEET AWAY.

Such a task adds fuel to my ire. Especially when bending over makes the top I am wearing rub against my sunburn, creating a sensation not unlike someone using 24 grit sandpaper on my person. Very unpleasant indeed!

The way I see it I can either deprogram my husband of this habit, wear a Hazmat suit every time I go outdoors or wage war against global warming. The first is futile and the second is impractical so I will direct my attention to the latter most.

This is Long Island City. Note the numerous condominiums and the fleet of Fresh Direct trucks which (undoubtedly) service their culinary needs. I made a rather interesting discovery yesterday during my trip up shit creek. One which I would like to share with you here.

I have never patronized Fresh Direct nor do I ever intend to. After learning about their labor practices last year there is no way in hell I am giving this business any of my hard-earned money. What is wrong with simply buying groceries from a grocery store or a produce stand like a normal person? It’s probably better for the environment.

Miss Heather


3 Comments on Fresh Direct Is Keeping Cool, How About You?

  1. OldStyleNo10 on Tue, 19th Aug 2008 1:10 pm
  2. “What is wrong with simply buying groceries from a grocery store or a produce stand like a normal person?” you ask. Please, Miss Heather. That would mean leaving your mini-gated community and being among–you know–the element.

    I mean, we all moved to Brooklyn to be cool, to wear Brooklyn t-shirts, maybe even G-train t-shirts. Don’t ask us to mingle!

  3. bitchcakes on Tue, 19th Aug 2008 6:01 pm
  4. This reminds me of something I saw this morning which I thought ironic: A DEP truck sitting in a bus stop (bad enough- don’t even get me started) IDLING while the driver ran into Starbucks for coffee. The windows were up and there was a passenger in the vehicle, so no doubt they left it on to run the a/c. How is that helping the environment?!

    I almost said something to the driver when he came out since he pissed me off on 2 levels (the a/c and sitting in the bus stop). I was so irritated!!!

  5. bitchcakes on Wed, 20th Aug 2008 5:04 pm
  6. BTW Mr Heather’s antics made me laugh out loud as they reminded me of my very own (short) marriage. I, too, would have been pretty peeved in that situation.

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