East Williamsburg Photos du Jour: Harbinger

October 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

From Bushwick Avenue.

Miss Heather

THIS WEEK: Art & Fashion

October 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

This upcoming weekend is going to be a busy one. On October 5th alone you have the Pulaski Day Parade and Atlantic Antic. Lest any of you are wondering, I will be attending the latter. This is not so much a matter of not being proud of my Polish-Lithuanian heritage. Rather, it has more to do with my affection for sock monkeys and Steve’s Key Lime pies. My mouths waters at the mere thought of the latter (yum). But I digress.

Here are a couple of other things going down this weekend which might be of interest.

A group show entitled Perfect Strangers will be opening at Alphabeta this Friday, October 3rd at 7:00 p.m. Admission is free until 9:00 p.m. at which point they will be kicking off an after party featuring live bands and DJs. The price of admission is a measly $7.00. For more information about this event check out the Brooklyn Art Collective’s web site.

Perfect Strangers
Alphabeta
70 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Further south Sodafine and Treehouse have teamed up to bring us Williamsburg Fashion Weekend the very same evening at Monster Island (AKA: Secret Project Robot). Per their press release:

In this, our third season, we’ve assembled a group of eight Brooklyn-based designers who make one-of-a-kind or small-run collections, with an emphasis on fair-trade, eco-friendliness, and artisan techniques that celebrate the handmade and the visionary.

Designers Showing — Oct.3rd (7-10pm)
SDN, King Gurvy, and Tricia Mcbride.
Musical performances by Pantagruel and DJ K0unt Zer0.

Designers Showing — Oct.4th (7-10pm)
Untitled 11:11, Racecar, Sodafine, Dear Birthday, and Treehouse Brooklyn. Musical performance by DJ K0unt Zer0.

Williamsburg Fashion Weekend
Secret Project Robot
210 Kent Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Admission is absolutely free!

Miss Heather

The Face Of Greenpoint

October 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This weekend I was delighted by a number of excellent photographs taken by one mugsniffer. So much so I felt they needed — no make that must— be shared (along with a couple pix from yours truly). Here they are. Enjoy!

The denizens of Greenpoint along Manhattan Ave in front of “The Big Dee” (formerly Dee & Dee).

My favorite local crazy guy engages in conversation with another citizen on Manhattan Avenue.

A photo shoot taking place on Manhattan Ave. recently with some wild-haired young people.

The gentleman at the far left is known hereabouts as “The Amish Guy”. Anyone who has seen him in person will attest that his beard has to be seen to truly be believed.

I know what you are thinking:

Wow, what a cute little old lady!

I suppose she is. Unless of course you have had the pleasure of listening to her SCREAM for a solid 60 seconds because she wanted the price for a nightshirt (as I have). These, dear readers, are a few of the faces which will greet you in Greenpoint on any given day. Central Park East the Garden Spot of the Universe is— most decidedly— not.*

Miss Heather

*Which is why I live here. I am one of them.

Photo Credits: The first three images come courtesy of mugsniffer.

Madonna In Bushwick?!?

October 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

In a manner of speaking, yes! Madge can be found (kissing Britney Spears, no less) on Bogart Avenue.

Miss Heather

Work Has Begun At The Old 87th!

September 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

It would appear that Herbert Street’s old precinct house has begun its journey from hoosegow to affordable housing! What’s more, my buddy over at Musings on ‘point got a sneak peak of the interior of the station house and garage. Check it out!

Miss Heather

(Speechless)

September 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

Ever had one of those moments when you see something and all you can do is stand there staring at it like a slack-jawed idiot? I had one such moment today on Meserole Avenue.

I know the city is trying to cut costs and everything, but wouldn’t simply painting the curb yellow have been a quicker (and less hideous) option? In all seriousness. I wonder which costs more: the $115.00 ticket for parking in this space or the ticket for admonishing someone (via the use of spray paint) of the $115.00 fine for parking in this space? Don’t everyone speak up at once.

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photos du Jour: P’s & Q’s

September 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

Grattan Street, “East Williamsburg”

Franklin Street, Greenpoint

Miss Heather

Meet Suzi

September 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady 

She has come to our fair city by way of Connecticut and is looking for a home. Per the person who rescued her she is very loving and a-OK with children. Anyone interested in learning more about this lovely lady (or better yet offer a place to hang her hat!) should email Maly at:

malyblomberg (at) gmail (dot) com

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: $700 Billion

September 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

From Bogart Street.

Miss Heather

Diary Of A Boobifier

September 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Boobification is much more than merely strapping a pair of fake breasts to something. It’s a way of life. One which requires a person to constantly hone her craft. Just as Tiger Woods practices his swing— or A-Rod hits the batting booth (or Madonna)— I have to “limber up” to make that hole-in-one or double-play. But practice doesn’t necessarily make perfect. I now realize that in addition to sheer perspiration, true boobification requires preparation and inspiration. To the latter most end today I went to Bushwick. On foot.

In order to get “in the zone” I need a big ball of rage in my belly. The best means by which I can achieve this state is to walk down Vandervoort and Morgan Avenue. These unprepossessing strips of industriana might strike the uninitiated as being a wasteland. In my experience they are a minefield of male privilege, e.g.; the entitlement to scream, hiss, honk and whistle at women (READ: me) with total orgiastic abandon.

I was not disappointed. Two gents in a truck with Pennsylvania plates were kind enough to creep along beside me for thirty feet and ask me (or some woman called “sweet lady”) if I/she wanted a ride. Given that I was the only woman present I deduced “sweet lady” was me.

I am certain the namesake of their home state, William Penn, would have found their act of charity touching. I didn’t. I thought they were creeps. I made this known by shooting them the finger. Nonplussed they drove off. Hopefully, to “Pumps”. Where they’ll have to pay for play— behind shower curtains.

It was at this point —at long last— I achieved the proper mindset to practice my dark craft: rage.

I call this photograph “Tuff Stuff” (after the lock on the above fixture) because nothing says I’m a real man like stalking a total stranger who is (at best) half his size from a pick-up truck. On Morgan Avenue.

From Bogart Street. No explanation required.

One of the challenges I encountered in Bushwick was most of the objects that caught my discerning eye were located in playgrounds. Playgrounds = children. Having had the pleasure of being detained by the N.Y.P.D. for taking photographs under the auspices of the patriot act*, I limited my activities to parks where minors were not present. If taking pictures of Christmas decorations merits police intervention I imagine despoiling a child’s mind with breast imagery in this day and age would merit a one way ticket to Gitmo.

This fella (from Noll Street) presented me with a challenge. I had a vision, but alas, the string gracing my girls broke while trying to make it happen. I rummaged around my backpack for a “quick fix”. I found one. Call me a Macgyver with tits. Four of them to be precise— and a paper clip.

It took me roughly ten minutes to make this work. The whole time I was struggling to strap tits on this (polar?) bear a chap was beating a tree trunk with an aluminum baseball bat behind me. Vigorously. Once he realized what I was doing he left. No questions asked. That’s one of the things I love about New York City: people mind their own damned business. He went Ty Cobb on a tree, I strapped tits on a polar bear; we each understood the other’s need to work out “anger”.

And last —but hardly least —the tits de résistance. They hail from Public School 145 on George Street.

I cannot come up with a title for this one. Suggestions, anyone?

Now if you don’t mind I’m off to rehabilitate my boobs.

Miss Heather

*Not capitalized on purpose.

P.S.: The photograph gracing the beginning of this post hails from Humboldt Street in Greenpoint. I’d like to dedicate it to John McCain. For some inexplicable reason it makes me think of him.