From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Pre-Hanukkah Goodness

December 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Manhattan 

This image comes courtesy of Garsav. And what a lovely image it is! Thanks for contributing and Happy Hanukkah everybody!

Miss Heather

Public Service Announcement

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Those of you who haven’t gotten your fill of the white fluffy stuff will be pleased as punch to know that the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory is open today.

Remember, they only use the finest, purest natural ingredients!

Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory
97 Commercial Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: The Garden Spot Alps

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Fuck Dr. Zhivago. Nothing says wintertime romance to yours truly like a set of snow-capped Shit Tits!

Miss Heather

TONIGHT: Vol. 1

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Today, starting at 8:00 p.m. Bar Matchless, Hexed Journal and WORD bookstore present the third installment of Vol. 1, an evening of live music, spoken word and stand-up comedy. The way it works is like this: each month a subject is selected for the participants to expound upon. Fittingly enough the topic for this evening’s event is “The Gift”, so expect to hear tales about the “sometimes joyous, other times awkward, act of giving or receiving a gift.” There is a five dollar suggested donation at the door (proceeds to benefit 826NYC, a non-profit writing center to help students 6-18 develop writing skills). And as always books will be happily accepted on the behalf of Books Through Bars.*

Vol. 1
December 19, 2008, 8:00 p.m.
Bar Matchless
557 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Now if you don’t mind I’m off the frolic in the snow!

Miss Heather

*In particular demand are books pertaining to the following subject matter:

  • African-American history, especially 20th century
  • Native American history
  • Latin American history
  • Radical politics
  • Social sciences and psychology
  • Dictionaries, thesauruses, and Spanish-English dictionaries
  • Learning world languages
  • How-to (drawing, chess, sign language…)
  • Mayan and Aztec history
  • Memoirs and fiction by people of color
  • Poetry anthologies

It’s Snowing In Greenpoint!

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yeah, I’m certain my fellow New Yorkers will hardly find this to be news. However, I bet you didn’t have the pleasure of savoring a gophersickle over your morning coffee!

Or would that be snowgopher? For those of you who are wondering what the hell this is here’s a picture of “Gertie” from last July. You can also read about her here.

These folks really should get the poor gal a coat.

It’s freezing out there!

Miss Heather

Southside Photo Du Jour: White Rabbit

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From South 3rd Street.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Rides

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

“The Beast”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“Gonna Get Got”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“The Bed Bug King”, Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint, 11222.

Ask not for whom the Bed Bug King comes, he comes for thee!

One would think given the nature of what they’re exterminating the Bed Bug King would be a little more low key. I guess not. Having the “Bed Bug Mobile” parked in front of one’s digs has got to be more than little embarrassing. Ouch.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Pabst Santa

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Mr. Heather

Art Direction: Miss Heather

Studio B Is Dead, Long Live Poisson Rouge!

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone want to buy a nightclub? If so, Studio B is for sale. Gothamist wrote:

Things aren’t looking so hot at Brooklyn club Studio B—Grub Street is reporting it’s on the market “for $1 million and a $22,000-per-month rent.” The club, based on Miami’s Studio A, has been hitting roadblocks all along since opening in Greenpoint two years ago. But so far neighbor complaints, stop work orders, Miss Heather, and illegal rooftops haven’t been able to shut the doors for good…until now? Promoter Justine D also shared her departure from the establishment in an email today, explaining: “I’ve been busy making the transition from STUDIO B to an amazing new venue called (LE) POISSON ROUGE.” Currently their calendar runs through the end of January.

There are a couple of points I would like to (kindly) call Gothamist on:

  1. Justine D left Studio B in October.
  2. Studio B has been on the market for some time now (Hey, if an employee at the Mayor’s Office of Special Enforcement knows it was on the block back in August, who doesn’t?)
  3. I know for a fact an event slated for March 2009 at Studio B was axed and moved elsewhere. Hmm…

The previous having been written, I would like to take a moment to post (and savor) this rather snarky and utterly assholic comment from one of Studio B’s hired guns (regarding this post):

Please be advised that the Department of Consumer Affairs issued a Cabaret License for Studio B on September 22, 2008, pursuant to which it is operating. The roof remains closed pending further work and inspection.

Sincerely,
Paul J. Proulx, Attorney for Studio B

Duly noted Paul, although I am disappointed Ken Fisher didn’t email me personally. I hate getting missives from underpaid wipers of other people’s bottoms. But then again I suppose I should expect to get guff from the “B” team (as a citizen and blogger). It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it? You got your paycheck.

Miss Heather

Word Of The Day: Nondo

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

(Or Ray Of Blight: A Dear John Letter to Magic Johnson)

Curbed wrote:

…You know the Viridian? (the ugly Modernist monolith depicted above— Ed. Note.) The high profile luxe condo at 110 Green Street in Greenpoint? We got a tip that it was going rental. We resisted running it as a rumor, even though we fully suspected it was true. An immediate denial was not forthcoming. The Viridian is still on the Developers Group website, although it is at the very end, behind two other buildings that recently went rental. Today comes word from a spokesperson: “According to The Developers Group, it’s being considering to convert the building to rental, but it has not been confirmed.” That, friends, is a polite way of saying “nondo in the works,” but we have to work out the legalities and paperwork. The building will be 130 units. The first segment of the building is slated to open by the end of the year or early 2009. Phase II is slated for late spring and Phase III is due in Q3 2009. Listings had shown asking prices for 1BRs starting at $458,000, 2BRs at $639,000 and 3BRs at $825,000. A little more than a dozen units had sold.

Non-do, n. pl. nondominiums: a substandard housing complex of dwelling units erected with a heavy measure of speculative greed, a promise of urban renewal (and a celebrity’s smile) with the cheapest labor and materials available in the hopes that each unit will be purchased at above market value. When the economy (and abject stupidity with a down payment) fails they dump their cheap crap into the rental market. See: Greenpoint, Suckers; Dewey, Cheatem and Howe or The Cocoanuts.

Um, this doesn’t look like a standard brick and mortar job to me, Magic.

Perhaps it’s because it is transparent (as opposed to opaque). I suppose that’s what renters and your 13 suckers buyers (or to see the glass half full: %10 OCCUPANCY) should expect for their money. For what’s it worth, your lackeys removed the siding peeling off the first floor of your dump testament to progress. I for one am grateful for this, as a humble peon who has the pleasure of living on the block where your testament to progress DUMP is being erected; it made walking down the sidewalk challenging.

Your eager beavers are working day and night now (without impediment from the Department of Buildings who I am certain someone in your chain of command paid off nicely) but none have seen fit to get rid of the vandalism. Including the bit of graffiti on the pillar next your building’s front door. You might want to look into that; it’s a turn-off to virtual golf-goers and roof-top cabana enthusiasts. And for the record I can state unequivocally that there has never been as much graffiti (or GARBAGE) on this block since you and yours saw fit to raze a fair chunk of it. Thank you for making Green Street less beautiful (or more ugly) place, Magic.

That’s not to suggest we didn’t have our good times: I got many a chuckle when workers from your site patronized my place of employment. A junk shop. Who doesn’t want to buy some porn (DVD only— urination, scat vids, much less Blackeyed Pees were unacceptable– only “fucky fucky”), stereo equipment or the odd saw (power strip, ruler, etc.) on his lunch hour? Especially when the scabs free market capitalists you hired are expected to provide their own tools? I was more than happy to assist them.

In my free time I have been verbally abused by your workers. Hissing and kissing noises mostly. Occasionally a chap would grab his nuts (to remind me I have none): a thankful reminder that I have no little head to overrule my “big head”. You’re a class operation, Viridian. I can hardly wait for phase 3, Magic.

Just like syphilis, your project is the gift that keeps on giving!

Miss Heather