Dysfunction Junction: Crosstown Local Co-Dependency

December 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I have often wondered why the MTA does not host “meet your station manager” days for the Crosstown Local (as they do for other subway lines like our tonier sister the L). Initially I chalked this up to the Transit Authority’s desire not to have their employees screamed at and pommeled with brickbats by a very angry public. Last night at Metropolitan Avenue, however, I finally learned the truth: the very G train itself is more than happy to field inquiries from concerned commuters. What’s more, this four car wonder will put it in writing!

Behold the Crosstown Local wailing wall. It is located at the southern end of the Smith – 9th bound platform.

Dear G Train
Well sorry about those things i said about you last week
But the thing is, you are never here for me Seriously why? Please please
come here pick me up, be there for me? is that (so much to ask?)
-love
Gutter

REPLY

Dear Gutter:
I don’t have much time, but you should know that whenever I’m here, you’re not. And when you’re home I’m out, scouring the old paths – looking for you. I’ll always be here on my way there. Where will you be?
Love, G.

OH YEAH…

You only come see me when you need a ride.
Stop using me, freeloader!

Gutter/Other

G train- You’re A Slut! Give anyone A RIDE!

Oy vey. Where is Doctor Phil when you need him?

Miss Heather

*As sponsored by HSBC because different values make the world a richer place penis!

Chinatown Photo Du Jour: Spock Monroe

December 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, Street Art 

From Kenmare Street.

Miss Heather

Boobification Photo Du Jour: Seizure Time Bowl

December 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Asshole 

Arguing. That’s what the Mister and I did yesterday. First it was where to eat. Next it was how to get there. Then it was taking a cab versus subway to meet my friend for her birthday soiree at the Leisure Time* bowling alley in the bowels of the Port Authority. We took a cab and I lost my cell phone. Nonetheless I still had a good time.

DO NOT CROSS FOUL LINE!
Conditioner beyond the foul line is slippery. Report abnormal
conditions to the front desk person.

Indeed.

Miss Heather

*Where one person in our party was nearly given the Midnight Express treatment for smuggling in a bag of pretzels. I am not kidding.

‘Tis The Season: Styrofoam Dreams

December 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

It would appear that erecting a manger is so prohibitively expensive in Greenpoint nowadays it necessitates selling air rights for high rises. I wonder if former city councilman, failed pretender to the Brooklyn Boro Presidency, Libertarian, despoiler of north Brooklyn and all-round real estate whiz lobbyist, Ken Fisher, is behind this arrangement? If it worked for Ismael Leyva, surely we can spare a little FAR Jesus of Nazareth!

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photo du Jour: Alphabet City

December 6, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

From Smith Street.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Take Off!

December 6, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Hausman Street.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photos du Jour: TD Bank

December 6, 2008 ·
Filed under: Ft. Greene, Greenpoint Magic 

Smith – 9th Bound Platform at Fulton Street

Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photo du Jour: Lucha Libre Crack

December 5, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From Debevoise Avenue.

Miss Heather

Meet Yes Gallery

December 5, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While this newest addition to the Garden Spot of The Universe isn’t entirely new, I have been meaning to give it a mention on New York Shitty. Today, dear readers, is that day.

Here are the deets: Yes Gallery is located in the basement of 147 India Street between Manhattan Avenue and beautiful McGuinness Boulevard. They opened late October with a group which, quite frankly, I’m pretty disappointed I missed. It looked fantastic. Anyhoo, I was lucky enough to see their second show, have a quick chat with their proprietress and meet her French Bulldog Cobra (who, if you’re wondering, is a SHE).

Here’s a sneak peek at the interior of this establishment.

While difficult to capture on camera, it is a lovely space. What’s more, the show they currently have up is pretty spiffy to boot! I for one really like this painting of a primeval couch. Those of you who have the time really should give this show a look-see. It closes on December 15, 2008.

Yes Gallery
147 India Street (basement)
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(347) 599-2322

In other news (of particular interest folks staying in New York City this holiday season and last minute shoppers alike) I have been told their next show will feature 100 8″x10″ photographs by 100 different artists for sale at the (very) reasonable price) of $99.00 a pop. The opening is scheduled for December 21, 2008. I will publish more details here as I learn them.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: 97 Russell Street

December 5, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday we visited our friends over on Humboldt Street. Today I thought it only appropriate to see how the competition is doing over on Russell.

It would appear that (unlike Halloween) 97 Russell Street has a commanding lead. Here are a few highlights.

I have a confession to make: these carolers sort of give me the creeps.

However, I do like these angels.

The same goes for these snowmen.

Especially this one which bears an uncanny resemblance to Winston Churchill.

Naturally a nativity is present…

and not even the windows have been left untouched. Thus far this is the finest Christmas display I have seen this year. Therefore, I give 97 Russell Street two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Miss Heather