These Are Not Crosstown Local Photos du Jour

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Rides: Greenpoint Vs. Bedford Stuyvesant Part II

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Clinton Hill, Greenpoint Magic 

Beadel Street, Greenpoint.

Anthony Street, Greenpoint.

From Lexington Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: 3:10

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Humboldt Street.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Advertising To Procreating Gentrifiers

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill 

When you push it… we feel your pain.

After I quit giggling my ass off at this ad (from Greene Avenue) many thoughts came to mind. The least off-color of them was as follows:

Childbirth (the end all and be all of “pushing it”) has to be much more painful than pushing a stroller. Does Motrin feel this pain?

Because I sure as fuck don’t want to. Perhaps I’m getting old but how the hell can a stroller weigh thirty pounds?!? Does it sport Corinthian leather, GPS, a full wet bar (for mommy) and a surround-sound entertainment system? I really want to know.

If for no other reason because if the bennies are right, e.g.; bench-pressing my 30 pound stroller (with crotchling on board) and Motrin feeling my pain I might reconsider my child-free lifestyle.*

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can text “stroller” to 34264 to hear the rest of the story! Welcome to the wonderland that is high technology: more advertising.

*HAHAHAHA!

How To Beat The High Cost Of Living…

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Williamsburg style!

If there’s something I have to hand to my buddy down south (and by that I mean Brooklyn11211) it is this: he knows what I like!

11211 wrote:

This seems like something you’d be able to make something of. I assume they’ve named their product after the colonial Williamsburg, not the post-modern one. Not that either makes sense when you’re branding a pop-up camper.

This is not your run-of-the-mill Green-point or Bushwick four wheeling digs, dear readers. This is none other than the 2008 Fleetwood Williamsburg model! It sleeps six and is priced to own at measly $16,463.80 $13,499!

Amenities include:

  1. A factory installed 16,000 BTU Furnace with electric ignition and power roof system
  2. Light weight easy to pull, aluminum framed, new smooth sides (It’s like Scarano at a fraction of the price!)
  3. Integrated high pressure slide out outside stove
  4. Aluminum wheels
  5. Power Roof Lift
  6. Slide out Dinette eat in kitchen and last, but hardly least…

A 12 volt flushing cassette toilet! It doesn’t get much more “retro” (and therefore hip) than this folks: cassettes are the new LPs— especially whilst flushing on Flushing Avenue! As my father always said (and by this I mean never):

The family that shits together stays together.

I am certain this great “starter home” won’t be on the market for long. Parties interested in maintaining that valuable 11211 zip code without paying 11211 prices should point and click their way over to RV USA without delay. The only thing you have to lose is your dignity!*

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: RVUSA.com

*If you actually consider living in a trailer in Williamsburg as being a viable option the previous caveat is a moot point. You lost it a long, LONG time ago.

Brooklyn Photos du Jour: The Writing On The Wall

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic, Navy Yard, Queens, Williamsburg 

This angry missive to one “Mayor Moo Moo” hails from Steuben Street and comes courtesy of “B.O.M.B.”: Brooklyn’s Other Museum of Brooklyn (whose web site appears to currently be parked). You can see more of their missives (and believe you me they have a lot to say) by checking out my photo set on flickr.

And while I’m at it, clean up after your damned dogs already! Sheesh.

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note some of you might find this web site interesting. Someone should erect a site like this counting the days until IDT Energy* figures out that everyone and their damned dog knows about the scam they’re running. Any takers?

*Those of you who have had the pleasure of interfacing with these people (as I have) please contact your duly elected officials and make them aware of this scam. For those of you who live in/around Greenpoint, Williamsburg and the Navy Yard (and beyond— for example, the 12th district includes much of the Lower East Side and a substantial chunk of Queens) the following information should be helpful:

U.S. Representative Nydia Velazquez, here’s a map of her district:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:New_York_District_12_109th_US_Congress.png

New York Representative Joseph Lentol, here’s a map of his district:

http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/?ad=050&sh=map

Mark Your Calendars, Fellow Greenpointers!

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens 

Club Europa is having a wet t-shirt party this Saturday! You know, a little part of me* died when I found this flier but once I read “…hot girls is never enough” and noticed their offering of $2.00 “bum bum shots” (whatever those are) all I could do was laugh. Oh yeah, to my friends over in Queens: don’t feel left out.

The folks at Club Europa have been thoughtful enough to provide shuttle bus service from Ridgewood for the modest asking price of $1.00! Will the wonders ever cease?

Miss Heather

*that being my inner angry feminist

Dear Santa

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I am a gift-giver’s nightmare. For this reason (and others too numerous to recount here) I have come to dread the holiday season. This is when the requests as to what I want for Christmas start rolling in and I honestly do not know what to tell people. It is not my wish to be difficult (I come by that naturally). Rather, I pretty much have everything I could possibly want or need —and believe you me for this I am very, very grateful.

As for what few things I might want: I don’t know I want them until I see them (or after they are given to me). This might sound odd but it is the honest to god truth. Which brings me to this.

Yesterday I needed to swing by far southeastern Greenpoint for a little project I am working on for New York Shitty. It was cold. I was tired. Needing an additional inducement/motivator I swung by my favorite house in the world: 128 Beadel Street. It just keeps getting better and better.

A pair of dragons have been added to the front door.

Some little sparkly things have been added to the solitary tree gracing the front yard. Miss Heather likes little sparkly things. A LOT.

But the crowning touch is the addition of this fountain. It adds a measure of much-needed tranquility to this otherwise gritty area. But mere still shots do not capture the glory that is 128 Beadel Street. To this end I shot a little video footage. Here it is.

Oil plume or no, I want this house. How could one not smile coming home to this every day? I know I would.

Especially if I have the pleasure of calling this chap (who I have named “Ward Cleaver”) as a neighbor!

If anyone can dredge up $1,000,000 (or at least several hundred thousand dollars) in these tough times it’s you, Santa. Make it happen!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Norman Avenue

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Connie O’s Pub & Sullivan Realty.

This photograph was taken yesterday, November 18, 2008.

The First & Only 24-Hour Webcasting Polka Music Internet Site in the World!

Crank up the volume cubicle monkeys! We’re going to turn this humpday out!

Miss Heather

Have A Heart, Shack Up A Turkey Today

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As many of you are probably all too aware next week is Thanksgiving. Those who are less fortunate than you and I will be able to have dinner at the Greenpoint Reformed Church Thursday, November 27 November 26, at 6:00 p.m. Not only are volunteers needed to help serve supper (interest parties should show up at the church Wednesday starting at 3:00 p.m.) but they are also short of freezer space— which brings me to another way you can help. Ann Kansfield writes:

I also need some volunteers to store turkeys in their freezers so that we can cook them in the coming weeks.

Have some room to spare with a turkey? If so please contact Ms. Kansfield via email at:

ann (at) greenpointchurch (dot) org

Thanks!

Miss Heather