Dog Doo Sign Du Jour: Gratitude

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint Magic 



This public service announcement has been brought to you courtesy of 150 West Street.

Miss Heather

Boobification Photo Du Jour: Finished At Last!

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Boobification, Greenpoint Magic 

In two short months my father, Pa Heather, will be coming to town. Although I am very pleased at this most auspicious (and long overdue) development it also means I will be spending a significant amount of time taming the clutter beast that is Chez Shitty and motivating the Mister to finish a few household projects. Like so many of his male brethren, the Mister has issues with follow-through. I try to be understanding about this (after all the man works his ass off) but after some point I have to cry foul.* Today is that day.



This is our bathroom ceiling. After living with clogged bathtub drain for FIVE YEARS (and bailing out used bath water via their toilet) our upstairs neighbors finally pressured our landlord into fixing it. This came to pass almost two years ago. And for almost two years I have had to look at this eyesore while taking a bath.



This is our bedroom. Back in 2003 I decided to give it a paint job. Not possessing the brute strength needed to move our captain’s bed by myself I asked the Mister to give me a hand. I am still waiting.

Nothing irks Miss Heather’s “type a” sensibilities more than when someone leaves something half-finished (or half-assed). So you can imagine my dismay when I encountered the following on Greenpoint Avenue today.


One year is more than enough time to finish this piece.

I thought to myself. I may not be strong enough to move furniture or tall enough to repair my own bathroom ceiling— but I am more than capable of finishing this piece of art work. So I did.


Behold the boobification of Paul Richard! I did this at around 4:00 p.m. today. I was so pleased with the result I autographed my “girls” and left them there.

Is this the end of my boobification project, you ask? Not by a long shot. After walking the streets of Brooklyn, Manhattan, and yes, Queens, my girls were starting to look a little rough. I may not have had the pleasure of being born in this fine city but I have lived here (and walked around the Upper East Side) long enough to know what to do when one’s snack trays have lost their youthful perk: buy a new pair.

Miss Heather

P.S.: All you Sesame Street and art enthusiasts out there will be pleased to know I have embarked upon the completion of The Passion Of Big Bird.

*This is satire. I’m not really that angry.

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Bike Lover’s Special

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Before I go out to savor today’s lovely weather I will leave with this selection of photographs I put together with bike lovers in mind. Enjoy!


From South 4th Street.


From the Smith – 9th bound platform of the Crosstown Local at Greenpoint Avenue.


From Kingsland Avenue.


From North 14th Street.


From Monitor Street.

Miss Heather

THIS WEEK: Screw The Heart…

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

cityreliquaryElla needs a liver! This item comes courtesy of Matt Levy from the City Reliquary. He writes:

Because not only is Ella beautiful, but she has a sense of humor regarding her inadequate bodily organs…

On Friday February 13th, from 7 – 11pm the City Reliquary will be hosting a special benefit to assist a friend and reliquarian, Ella Watson, who is scheduled to receive a liver replacement.  So, on the eve of this Valentine’s Day remember: Screw the Heart; Ella Needs a Liver!

Get good mojo on Friday the 13th by coming out to help raise some cash for Ella Watson, badass and beloved artist, (and her soon-to-be adopted liver). Even if you don’t know Ella, the night promises to be a blast: there will be live music, dark humor, light hearts, hot toddies, hotter chili, treats from the Gramercy Tavern, and cheap Brooklyn Lager on sale (for the good livered amongst us).

There will be art for sale (for $50.00 or less!) and “a thematic DJ set by Jesse Arnold” is also promised. The suggest donation for this event is $10.00.

Fundraiser For Ella
February 13, 2009 7:00 – 11:00 p.m.
The City Reliquary
370 Metropolitan Avenue
Williamsburg, New York 11211

Miss Heather

Much Ado About Film Shoots

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

fringegubatronnysMany of you are undoubtedly aware that my buddy over at Neighborhood Threat was less than pleased with last month’s film shoot for Fringe on her block. In fact she has even blogged about it. Twice. I can’t honestly say I blame her. If I had to listen to a car chase being filmed at 3:30 a.m. (as seen in the photograph at left taken by Gubatron) I would be less than pleased.

Well, now thanks to the wonder that is the Internet she has learned another voice has been raised in opposition to film shoots in Greenpoint. I’ll let her take it from there:

…I have sympathy for residents unhappy about filming (especially when Fringe AND Life On Mars are back at Franklin & Greenpoint one day after the other – Life On Mars needs A LOT of space for all its vintage cars, but I don’t have sympathy for one group of people in Greenpoint:

Construction companies…

Not just any construction company either: but the one responsible for the condofication of 1 Hanson Place. Read about Neighborhood Threat’s most curious discovery for yourself by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Subway Wars: Greenpoint Vs. East Williamsburg

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 


Next to the Morgan Avenue L train entrance on Bogart Street.


From the Smith – 9th Street bound entrance of the Crosstown Local at Norman Avenue.

Miss Heather

Presenting The Pee Pee Phone

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

phonethumbnailYesterday I shared with you the good news about Shitfone. Today I introduce to you for your reading pleasure a new(ish) blog from the East Village entitled Slum Goddess. In her latest installment our heroine waxes poetic about the “Pee Pee Phone”. S.G. writes:

These lovely images are of The Pee Phone located by Ray’s Candy Store on the corner of Avenue A and 7th street. This phone booth reflects the very definition of decadence. I have observed all kinds of craziness happening in and about this phone. For one thing, everyone and their mother pees on it. Sometimes they purposely pee on the receiver just for an added bonus…

Yup, and it only gets better.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Vinyl Siding 


Although I try to refrain from posting photographs from the same contributors two days in a row I simply could not resist passing along this great shot of Calyer Street taken by mugsniffer. I like it not for its patriotic subject matter or interesting composition, but rather for its rainbow assortment of asphalt and aluminum siding. Simply magnificent!

Miss Heather

Food Porn Du Jour: Motorino

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 


I’ve been writing about food a lot of late. I take very little pleasure in doing so: I’m more interested in eating. What’s more, there are women who much are more talented and dedicated writing about gustatory delights than myself. However, I like to pass along a bona fide gem when I find one: Motorino is one such place.


I’ve been casing this establishment for some time. Unlike a lot of restaurants in north Brooklyn a great deal of attention has been given to both the surroundings and the cuisine.


The Mister devoured the meat plate (as seen at left) while I enjoyed Earl Grey tea, cheese and homemade bread.


This anchovy pizza was so loaded with capers and olives I wanted a taste…


but I was perfectly content with my Margherita.

We were fortunate enough to be seated next to a woman who brought her aunt and uncle to give Motorino a whirl. Newspaper clipping in hand auntie asked to talk to the owner of this establishment; he gladly obliged. She recited the provenance of this space for his edification. As it would happen she and her husband have lived on Orient Avenue for 87 years. She was sharp as a tack. What’s more, she liked the food. When the Mister and I asked for take-out boxes her party was concerned we were sending it back because we didn’t like it. We did— albeit too much: we were stuffed!

If the local buzz (and all the delivery we saw getting prepped) is any indication this restaurant’s cult status will not last long. Check it out!*

319 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

(718) 599-8899

In the meantime you can peruse their menu by clicking here.

Miss Heather

*Be advised they have yet to receive their liquor license but are perfectly amenable to you bringing your own wine and beer.

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Pre-Valentine’s Day Revue, Part II

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I enjoyed putting together yesterday’s selection of pre-Valentine’s Day goodness so much I have decided to hit you up with some more snaps of love north Brooklyn style.


From Noble Street.


I can safety state that this is the only upbeat missive I have found on a Real Housewives of New York City subway poster.


Almost seven years later Carlito is still missed on South 3rd Street.



Love’s a poppin’ all over the place on Hope Street! Feeling lonely this upcoming weekend? Don’t despair, make your way over to Maria’s Deli.


The word on Diamond Street is they serve a lot more than just sandwiches.

Miss Heather