From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Solace

October 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Woodendesigner (the chap took the above photograph) writes:

So I have been meaning to take a picture of this dollar since last week when I went to get a bagel from Korean Bagel (It’s a little typical “Bodega” run by a very nice Korean couple and they have some of the best bagels…. but that is a different story). Anyway I got this dollar as change but did not notice until a few days later. I laughed because it really just sums up everything that has been going on with the stock market and in a way everything that I have been ging through lately. I have been very hesitant to spend it and now after shooting it for you people to enjoy I have decided that I am going to save it….. Even though thay also dated it on the back ( 9-20-07) so it was actually written a year ago.

Also I don’t know what the deal is with the “dollar dollar” or the lack of proper punctuation after “My” but it still makes me laugh because I did not notice it until I tried to spend it several days later.

Thanks for sharing this gem, Nathan. It really made my day!

Miss Heather

G Is For OH MY FUCKING GOD!

October 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City 

Earlier this week we learned that a Williamsburger named Sal has a very special secret admirer who is into Lucha lovin’ a la upstate New York. Today October 25, 2008 I regret to inform you, dear readers that the unfathomable has indeed come to pass: someone has been deflowered on the Crosstown Local. I suppose $2.00 subway fare is still cheaper than a no-tell motel— although the more economical subway sybarite might consider purchasing an unlimited ride Metrocard instead.

You can get all the sordid deets (with visuals) over at Bitchcakes Commutes as she had the pleasure of discovering the artifacts and braggadocio from this dirty deed done dirt cheap.

Enjoy!

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Bitchcakes

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: We Are The Champions!

October 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Banker Street.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Fashion Watch

October 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This week (at least the portion of it I have had with Internet access anyway) I have been dialogging with chap named Tim. He wrote:

…your neighborhood is really the gift that keeps on giving–it’s so endlessly bizarre. love that. makes my east village look downright banal.

It’s true. I have lived in many places and have seen a lot of strange stuff but there has never been a place I have called home like Greenpoint. That’s why I love it so. It’s a refuge for eccentricity in an otherwise (and increasingly) uptight world. I feel genuinely blessed to be able to work in the neighborhood I live in as its purest essence can only be experienced when so-called “respectable” people are slaving away in nearby Manhattan. Which brings me to this.

Larry da Junkman spied this guy hanging outside our front door and admonished us:

I knew this guy back in Ridgewood 30 years ago. He’s nuts!

Well, this chap proved to be just that. But I really liked the personal entertainment system (or “Greenpoint iPod” as I like to call it) he was sporting: one cassette player with radio hung around his neck with twine and secured with duct tape.

I realize Mr. Blackwell (R.I.P.) would probably pan this fashion statement, but I give it two enthusiastic Greenpoint thumbs up! Practical, yet understated. Duct tape is the new black!

Of course not all genius comes so naturally. For others it takes years of careful cultivation —and the Garden Spot of the Universe is the perfect environment for freaks* of all varieties to bloom!

I imagine a number of you who have attended the Mermaid Parade over the years have seen this guy. He’s been a regular at the Mermaid Parade for some time now. What you might not know is this chap happens to be my neighbor. His name is Martin.

Here he can be seen (at right) listening with rapt interest to a tale Larry is telling him. He looks normal enough yes? Not exactly.

A stoned Mickey Mouse brandishing a 40. When I asked Martin about this he had an amusing story to relay. One day as he was walking down the street (wearing the above-depicted jacket) a child yanked on his father’s arm and exclaimed:

Hey look dad, it’s the old Mickey Mouse!

Out of the mouths of babes so they once said. This one goes out to you Greenpoint! When it comes to high fashion, you’re blue chip in my book!

Miss Heather

*And I mean this in the nicest possible way, as I too am one.

Halloween Photo du Jour: Graveyard

October 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Noble Street.

Miss Heather

Meet Castro

October 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

This comes courtesy of Rob Maher of District Dog.* Maggie and James write:

He is about 2 years old, rescued off the streets of Havana, Cuba.  He is now full grown at 25 lbs with a unique puppy-like look.

He has been a wonderful and loyal pet and it breaks our hearts to let him go, but we have recently given birth to twins and can not give him the attention and stable environment he needs.

Early on he had a lot of anxiety and nervousness that with time we help him work out. He has a lot of energy that needs to be burned off daily or, as we have found, the anxiety returns.

He had been a perfect house dog until we became pregnant when the problems started reoccurring. He has begun to show occasional guarding aggression and unpredictable skittishness around other dogs and some strangers. We are hoping that in a stable home and with some love he can again become the great dog that we know he is.

He is crate trained, but is not dependent on the crate if you dont have room for it, but he is trained to quietly “go home” if you tell him to.

He does not bark excessively, nor does he chew or tear up anything. He is house trained and is not allowed on furniture he is not given permission to use. He also knows his basic commands including a recall to come.

He needs someone who has the time and energy to work with him both with daily exercise and with the aggression/ anxiety issues. We imagine that almost all of the issues could quickly be worked out with the right patience and guidance to get there.

Though he requires a little work, he has amazing potential that we have seen in the past. Because of his nervousness, however, he is probably not for novice or first time dog owners.

Anyone interested in meeting Castro (and ascertaining whether he is Raul or Fidel) should contact Maggie and James at:

jamescasestudio (at) gmail (dot) com

or Rob at: rob (at) doghabitat (dot) com

Miss Heather

*Who will be hosting a Halloween Dog Parade this Sunday at McGolrick Park!

Puppies of all ages on parade —I can’t wait!

Great Moments In Abjectecture: Sunset Park

October 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Fedders Friday 

After featuring so much Sunset Park goodness last week I thought today I would spice things up a bit by sharing some absolutely breath-taking examples of their abjectecture. The following structures may not sport Fedders boxes, but that doesn’t really matter. They embody the spirit of Fedderization and as such deserve a big ol’ New York Shitty nod. Here we go!

This beauty hails from 8th Avenue. If you look carefully you will notice this edifice once looked very much like its neighbor to the right. Not anymore!

It’s been FEDDERIZED! I really have to admire workmanship like this. It makes me feel right at home…

IN COLD WAR ALBANIA!

When I lived in Astoria I used to ride the N train. This was back before the W was brought in so my commute was always crowded as hell. One Friday afternoon I am riding home— one of many sardines packed into a glorified tin can— when I noticed this kid in front of me acting strangely. Then as we turned that sharp curve between Queensboro Plaza and Bebe Avenue he spewed forth a gusher of neon orange vomit. Everyone in or near the event horizon non-chalantly moved away from his salvo. I didn’t. I just stood there and stared. I had to: I had never seen anything like that before in my life.

I mention the previous anecdote because it sort of reminds me of this. These folks were not content with mere Fedders or Friedrichs boxes. They outdid the Joneses with a big fat Haier model and made good and damned sure everyone knew it!

Lastly I would like to close with this, a most fascinating specimen from 54th Street.

I know what you’re thinking:

Man oh man, where is Miss Heather going to start with this one!

I think a better question would be when will I ever finish! For the sake of brevity here are a few choice highlights.

Just a reminder folks: Enver Hoxha isn’t responsible for this stellar example of craftsmanship. This masterpiece hails from the good ol’ U.S. of fucking A.!

I initially wondered what comes out of these pipes.

Could it be for rainwater?

I thought to myself. NAH! These two conduits overflow with capitalism. Hallelujah!

And finally in the excessive signage department.

As if the slab of cement in of this building was uninviting enough, the powers that be still saw fit to admonish us in English and Chinese no less, that no playing is allowed in this “yard”.

But they didn’t rule out seppuku!* What’s more, they provided a nice big chrome fence to impale your self on!

Miss Heather

*Yes I realize this is Japanese, not Chinese. It’s the thought that counts!

Miscellaneous Foodstuffs

October 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

There’s a lot cooking in the Garden Spot nowadays. Today I finally have the time to tell you about a couple of tasty events featuring a couple of fellow Greenpointers! Bon appetit!

This Sunday, October 26 from noon to 6:00 p.m. the East River State Park will be hosting its very first Pumpkin Palooza and Green Info Expo. Although the invite states refreshments are going to be provided by “local businesses”, I have the inside scoop that there will be pies served up by our very own Suzy O, the brains behind PY-O-MY. Here’s a little sneak peek at the bite-sized bits of goodness she is whipping up for our delectation.

I have it on good intelligence that pecan (as seen above) and blueberry will be in the offering. Check it out!

Pumpkin Pie Palooza
East River State Park
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Next up, I have been long remiss giving a shout out to another fellow Greenpointer who recently had a book published! Yes, I am talking about none other Emily Farris of Casserole Crazy.

Next month she will be hosting a Casserole Cookoff at our very own Brooklyn Label. Here are the deets per her press release.

There’s a chill in the air, a slump in the economy and a hungry growl in your belly. That means it’s time to register for The Casserole Party, an annual casserole competition organized and hosted by Emily Farris, author of Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven.

The Fourth Annual Casserole Party will be held Monday, November 10, 2008 at Brooklyn Label in Greenpoint.

Attended and loved by many, and featured in The New York Sun, The New York Post, Time Out New York, Gawker and Nerve, the Casserole Party is a way to show off a hearty and comforting dish from childhood…and let’s be honest, it’s an excuse to over-indulge in baked deliciousness. This year we have a tough panel of judges, prizes from The Brooklyn Kitchen and Le Creuset and a cash bar provided by Brooklyn Label.

Judges:

Camille Becerra
Chef and Owner of Paloma and Contestant on Season 3 of Bravo’s “Top Chef”

Harry Rosenblum
Co-owner of The Brooklyn Kitchen and Cooking Competition Judge Extraordinaire

Zack Schulman
1/2 of the 2007 Winning Casserole Team for “Cheese Love”

Interested registrants should check out the rules and regulations over at Casserole Crazy’s web site. As I understand it this event is booked —HOWEVER, there is a waiting list and Emily assures me that they “always have drop outs” so why not sign up today or purchase a copy of her book at our local bookstore?

Casserole Cook-off
Brooklyn Label
180 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Word Books
126 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Now if you don’t I’m off to get some lunch. Looking at— much less writing about— all these foodstuffs has made me more than a little peckish!

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: J. Vandervoort Werkhaus

October 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

A chap named Richard was nice enough to tip me off to this one. A new art space is set to grace the Garden Spot (Or “Greenwick”, take your pick!) starting this Saturday, October 25! Here’s the 411 per their press release:

The J. Vandervoort Werkhaus Presents:
Inside the Out

October 25th – November 23rd 2008
Opening Reception Saturday, October 25th, 6 – 9pm
By appointment until November 23rd

Sascha Braunig
Eisaku Dovoc
Ivy Haldeman
Andreas Laszlo Konrath
Kant Smith
Alexander V.

The J. Vandervoort Werkhaus opens its doors to the public this October with Inside the Out, an exhibition highlighting six emerging artists. The work presented expresses a respect and nostalgia for the traditional forms of painting, photography and sculpture; yet, with calculated and irreverent gestures, these artists throw hierarchy to the wind. Sculpture is conflated with implements of personal vanity.  Photography is assimilated into architecture. Painting, being so ubiquitous, contends with the art market as its progenitor, and searches for a valid posture.

Ivy Haldeman’s text paintings combine nostalgia for abstract expressionism with the self-reflexive doubt of the text painting. Her painting methods are laid bare as painter’s tape lays half peeled and curling enticingly from the canvas. Lyricizing the ambitions and failings of the individual artist, these paintings are laughingly pessimistic.

Alexander V. toys with painting’s ever-expanding toolbox. Neon chickens (!!! —Ed. Note), absurd quotes, spray painted stencils, and beams of light are all players in his graphic landscape of explosive, vividly colored paintings.  With a swagger Alexander V. notes his own philosophy on life with the painted text, “If you’re gonna do it right, don’t do it at all.”

Kant Smith’s lightbox constructions resurrect key American paintings of the 20th century.  His pain-staking self-illuminating reproductions create an atmosphere of wonder, bringing traditional painting to face with today’s onslaught of mass visual information.  Is painting desperately trying to catch up here?

Eisaku Dovoc, affecting trompe l’oeil, presents isometric plans of art shipping crates.  These assemblages utilize a method of 3-d marquetry such that wood represents wood, and yet shipping labels are illusionistically painted, creating a synergetic clash of representation and literal construction.

Andreas Laszlo Konrath creates an icon of a somber teenage boy in a photographic meditation on adolescence. Utilizing the unique architecture of the gallery, Konrath collapses the viewer’s space into the diegetic space of the photograph.  His work draws from the compression and visual overload of the urban landscape.

Pivoting on the intersection between the dusty curiosity, the homemade relic, and the beauty salon, Sascha Braunig’s work conjures the bizarre and disquieting that lurks within the banal. In this show, she presents the Portrait Head of a Real Woman, in vivacious three dimensions.

Gallery hours are noon to 6pm, Saturdays and Sundays, October 26th  – November 23rd…

The J. Vandervoort Werkhaus is dedicated to promoting progressive and challenging work in the visual arts.  The Werkhaus is located in the Williamsburg Industrial Park accessible by the L train, Graham Ave. stop.

The J. Vandervoort Werkhaus
413 Vandervoort Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11222

Neon chickens = check it out!

Miss Heather

Halloween Photo du Jour: Mixed Signals

October 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather