The Viridian Gets Christened

December 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

In light of the recent spate of vandalism on this block (just a week ago one of my neighbors, a 50-something retired couple, had their car keyed rather viciously) I cannot honestly say this surprises me. As a matter of fact I am amazed it took someone this long to “modify” this edifice. While this act does little to beautify Green Street (which is looking damned rough of late) I do have to hand it to “acre” for having the chutzpah to leave his mark by the front door.

Miss Heather

Tonight At Clayspace

December 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Starting this evening at 6:00 p.m. Clayspace 1205 will be hosting a three day holiday show and sale at the Greenpoint Manufacturing and Design Center. Among the items for sale will be dinnerware, home accessories, jewelry “samples and seconds”, sculpture and photography. This show was organized by Joyce Sopp, of Glyph Designs and will feature more artists than I can possible list here. I wholeheartedly encourage you to check it out!

Three Day Holiday Sale & Party
December 12th- 14th; Friday 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.,
Saturday 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.,  Sunday  12:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
Clayspace 1205, GMDC Building

1205 Manhattan Ave
Suite  2.4.1
Brooklyn, NY 11222

(718) 383-5400

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Santa With Bathtub

December 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Kent Street.

Miss Heather

Employment Opportunity!

December 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone interested in becoming the manager of Greenpoint’s newest watering hole should send their resume to: ed (at) ravenbrands (dot) com.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Of Hanukkah & Dental Health

December 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Video Du Jour: The Moonshine Soliloquy

December 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

I have said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing has facilitated the culture of narcissism in this country more than the cellular phone. No matter where I go someone will undoubtedly be jawing or texting away with total abandon. When I go to the grocery store I will be invariably be stuck behind some woman multi-tasking a stroller, tendering her credit card and yammering away. BADLY. Restaurants are fair game as well. While I’m trying to savor my enchilada I am edified about how Lauren couldn’t possibly be Jewish because she is from Nebraska. I recently came home from dinner in Sunnyside via the B24. The entire ride home I had to listen to the bus driver in a heated argument with his girlfriend about something or other via his Bluetooth.I don’t know what it was about and I don’t want to know; I just want to get back to Greenpoint alive. Is this so much to ask? For a measly $2.00 (and given the MTA’s current financial woes), perhaps it is. But back to the purpose of this post.

In addition to impolite cell phone users yours truly also hates shouting. Unless there is a damned good reason to shout (e.g.; someone is about to walk in front of a moving bus, Barack Obama is elected president, New Year’s Eve, a rousing round of the World Cup, being batshit crazy, etc.) I see no reason for to engage in this practice.

Therefore you can imagine my delight when I had the pleasure of listening to some man scream profanity like a howler monkey into his cell phone for a solid twenty minutes last night in front of my apartment building. I was not prepared (How can one be ready for such an eventuality?) but I did manage to get some usable footage (crank up the volume for maximum f-bombtastic fun!). I’m not too sure what set him off. I think it is about a $400 phone bill. Or something. In any case be patient and savor “Moonshine Soliloquy” at the end. It’s worth the wait.

In the clarity that is 20/20 hindsight I could have assisted this chap. Mister Heather has a stash of applejack. I could have readily offered this to this gent in exchange for him shutting the fuck up. Or I simply could have dumped it on his head and lit a match. Either way it would have been a sad waste of hard liquor.

Miss Heather

Image Credit: hdforindies.com

Semantics a la Sharpie Marker: A Little Holiday Cheer Courtesy Of Mott Street

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Manhattan 

Speaking as someone who was once in management and as such had the pleasure of drafting* and receiving many an assholic memorandum in my day, I have to say this is one of the finest specimens I have ever seen.

Sharpie marker + a piece of a plywood = ONE CLASSY OPERATION.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Miss Heather

*Regarding such delightful subjects as:

  1. Please refrain from stealing other people’s food from the office fridge.
  2. Please refrain from physically threatening people who steal your food from the office fridge.
  3. Please refrain from urinating and defecating on the floor of the men’s bathroom.

‘Tis The Season: We Have The Biggest Balls Of All!

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

LOOKIN’ GOOD GREENPOINT!

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Not only were our very own Shit Tits given a nod by New York Magazine* as being one of the finest examples of new architecture/design in the entire city, but our fair burgh will also be the subject matter of WNYC’s** Christmas card this holiday season! How do I know this, you ask? Very simple. They sent me an email telling me so:

Congratulations – we have selected your photo to be on the holiday card this year.

We’ll send you some of them when they are printed.

A pretty spiffy shot if I say so myself! Although to be perfectly frank I would have gone with this.

Miss Heather

*Who failed to mention one of the very finest aspects of our “girls”: when it is misty at night (as it will probably be this evening) the sky above them glows blue!

**Whose first transmitter was located here, by the way. Go to the end of Greenpoint Avenue and see for yourself!

Brooklyn Back In The Day: Where Is It?

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn 

Those of you who have a eye for detail will find this one to be a slam dunk. Otherwise if you need a hint (or simply want to see a beautiful Brooklyn family from yesteryear) you can click here.

Miss Heather