Filed under: Williamsburg
Call me psychic, but I never had high hopes for this building. It has looked like shit for years.
And now it looks worse.
Note the scaffolding: there is no permit whatsoever to be found on the Department of Building’s web site sanctioning it.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I guess the maypole arrived a little early this year.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It’s been awhile since I have paid the fine chaps at 48 Box Street a visit. Today I did, albeit in an accidental fashion: as I was walking across the Pulaski Bridge I looked westward and there he was.
It was love at first sight. I was so smitten I even waved to him as I took the above photograph.
You have to admire a man who ignores a Stop Work Order.
Filed under: Long Island City
I have been searching for a particular shade of Manic Panic for roughly 3 weeks. I will not say what color precipitated this quest because I don’t want people to know; they’d quickly figure out who I am and then I’d probably get deluged by people wanting autographs or (more likely) get spit on at the supermarket (I’m used to having lit cigarettes flung at me, so don’t even think about it). Let’s just say this hue is seemingly impossible to find. To this end I expanded my search to Manhattan. I even treaded north of 23rd Street; I am that desperate. All to no avail.
What do desperate people do when they have an itch they can’t scratch? They get on the Internets, that’s what! I checked out Manic Panic’s web site and learned they were having a sale at their headquarters this week.
And now for the punchline… (drumroll)
Here is where Tish and Snooky’s dream factory resides:
That’s right folks, in my own fucking backyard.
Today I ventured across the Pulaski Bridge into the disorienting wonderland that is Long Island City. And my quest came to an end.
I was blown away by the sheer amount of brightly-colored artificial joy that laid before my eyes. And yes, I found the hair dye I was looking for. I effused with joy when I said:
I have been looking for this everywhere! The local beauty supply in Greenpoint didn’t have it. King’s Pharmacy on Bedford didn’t either…
Female employee: Did you try Ricky’s
Miss H: Yes, neither the Ricky’s on Third Avenue in the East Village nor the one by Bryant Park had it.
Male employee: Well, isn’t there a Hot Topic or shopping mall near where you live?
Miss H (WTF?!?): No. Greenpoint is not a shopping mall kind of place.
Long story made short, I got my goodies at a phat discount. Those of you who are interested should venture over there and see for yourself. Other surprises await you as well:
You can learn more about “Baby” at Working Class Cats!
I do not know why people bother spending the time or money to hire professionals. Some of the most sage advice I have ever read has been scrawled on the subway posters which grace dank innards of our city. For the low price of $2 you get access to an open forum where no subject is off-limits. I once read an ongoing debate about Alexander Hamilton and Federalism at the Fulton Street stop of the G. The quality of these tomes (the person arguing against Mr. Hamilton referred to him as a “plutocrat”) surpassed a number of college theses I had the misfortune of grading when I was a teaching fellow.
If I was a policymaker for this fine city, one of the first things I would do is equip subway stations with blank posters and markers; if someone had a question, needed advice or just wanted to “talk”, he (or she) could bounce it off his/her fellow subway patrons by writing it on the “subway forum board”. Unfortunately, I have no hand whatsoever in how this city is run so I have to rely on the brave scofflaws who provide their own Sharpies.
The first bit of advice I am going to share with you today comes courtesy of Greenpoint’s very own Crosstown Local: the proper manner in which to hold open a subway door.
New York Shitty analysis: I emphatically agree. You should always use your leg; its much sturdier. Delicate hands can get hurt by those closing doors, so be careful!
Next up comes an offering from the L train platform at Metropolitan Avenue.
New York Shitty analysis: Wow. This must be ONE VERY BAD MOVIE!
You can always leave it to good ol’ Bushwick to get right to the point.
I have a confession to make: living in Greenpoint has made me pretty jaded when it comes to encountering mass quantities of dog shit. As I went for one of my infamous four hour walks earlier this week I was summarily jolted out of my torpor by the utter HORROR which awaited me at the above-depicted intersection.
This is Bushwick Avenue. When you turn the corner onto Melrose Street it doesn’t get much better.
Words fail me.
Filed under: Asshole
As I tried to go to sleep Monday night, my husband (in his infinite sensitivity) asked:
So how does it feel to be (excised) years old?
Nothing says “I love you” like reminding your missus that she is eight months older than you on her birthday. Way to go, Mr. Heather!
Thankfully, I made the acquaintance of a few chaps at 168 Meserole Street yesterday who didn’t treat me like an old skag. They voiced their interest in yours truly by whistling at me.
I strongly recommend that any woman who is need of a quick self-esteem boost walk by this building. Trivialities such as basic human dignity mean nothing to these fellas; they’ll howl at you like the sexy beast you really are (underneath those sweat pants)!
And once they have sated their manly urges they’ll even play a rousing game of peek-a-boo with you.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I found this bike parked in front of the Astral Apartments on Java Street. Note the use of TWO different shades of duct tape.
Filed under: Area 51
I found this card advertising “Dancer Boy’s” services while walking down Lorimer Street yesterday. Too bad I didn’t know about him a day earlier, he would have made my birthday festivities a lot more provocative.
P.S.: Oh yeah, nice