A Very Greenpoint Salute To Our Next President

November 5, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

(Or Obama, Motherf**ker!)

The following pretty much speaks for itself.

Congratulations Barack Obama! As you can see (or HEAR) a couple of (very vocal) fellow North Brooklynites and a bus driver were very happy to learn you’ll be our next President. We have hope, Barack, hence why we voted for you. We want change. Please don’t disappoint us.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Your wife Michelle will make a BADASS first lady!

P.S. #2: Contrary to what McCain’s concession speech said what happened November 4th was not simply a milestone for “African-Americans”. It was a victory for anyone who has ever been judged for what they are, not who they are.

Election Day Photos du Jour: North Brooklyn Style

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I am going to round off today’s selections here on New York Shitty (so I can sit transfixed in front of the computer and hit the “refresh button” on CNN every five minutes like the rest of you!) with a sampling of election-related goodness from in and around the Garden Spot of the Universe. Enjoy!

Milton Street

Although this is not election-related per se, I felt the sentiment was worth passing along.

Berry Street

I have no friggin’ idea what this is about.

Kent Avenue

This one requires no explanation.

South 5th Street

The tinsel is a nice touch.

Grand Street

Calyer Street

Some of you might recognize this residence. They experienced a wanton act of caulk theft last year.

Java Street

As Newton’s Third Law states:

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Franklin Street

Mr. Clinton sure gets around doesn’t he?

Red building, blue state.

And this, dear readers, rounds out today’s postage. For now anyway.

Miss Heather

An Antiques Shop Cometh To Greenpoint

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Since I had a lot of time to burn this morning I decided to swing by 19 Greenpoint Avenue and see how things are going. Although there is no signage to indicate as such this storefront is going to be an antique shop. It is co-owned by a nice lady named Maya who was kind enough to let me take a peek inside.

She was rather embarrassed by the state on the interior (I fail to see why, it looks better than my apartment on a “good day”) so I refrained from taking photographs in accordance to her wishes. I could not, however, abstain from taking a few pix of the lovely backyard. She plans on hosting events back here. It shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why: it’s a great space!

I was enamoured of the ivy gracing this pole so I shot a picture of it.

When will her shop open, you ask? Well that depends. She is still awaiting an inspection by the Department of Buildings and needs to change the Certificate of Occupany on the first floor from residential to commericial. Given how efficient the previously-mentioned agency is I wish her godspeed…

and very, very good luck

Le Grenier
19 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Opening Date: t.b.a. (before Christmas)

Miss Heather

Boobification Photos du Jour: Election Day Special

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

As some of you might have noticed, today I got up at some ungodly hour (7:11 a.m.) so I could get to our polling station bright and early. The upshot of doing so was that I got in and out very quickly. The down shot was I was wide awake and had time on my hands. A. LOT. OF. TIME. After some thought I decided this was the perfect day to dust off my rack and while away some time with a little boobifying. Follows are the results. Enjoy!

American Playground, Greenpoint

I like to call this one “Swing Tits”. I have little doubt that if I had pulled this off in Park Slope or the Carroll Street Playground I would probably be in jail right now.

Berry Street, Williamsburg

While I am on the subject of children, has anyone noticed how damned many kids there are in Williamsburg nowadays. Seriously, it’s an epidemic or something. I say this because I had to glare at one fresh-faced young ‘un (her mother was on a cell phone) until she deduced I did not want her hanging around while I did this. NOTE TO PARENTS: you do not want me to raise your child for you. Watch your damned kids, already!

Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg

TITS AHOY!

Nobody touches my Lucky Charms!

North 1st Street, Williamsburg

An interesting exchange came to pass between yours truly and a nearby construction worker over this one.

That’s not very nice.

He said. To wit I turned around, smiled and replied:

“Nice” doesn’t have a damned thing to do with it.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: November 4, 2008

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Eagle Street.

Miss Heather

P.S.: It was still hopping at 9:30 a.m.!

And as of 1:30 p.m. the polling place over at P.S. 34 had a fifteen-twenty foot long line —which believe it or not— is a big, BIG improvement over how it looked earlier!

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Today Is The Day

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Wythe Avenue.

Miss Heather

THIS WEEKEND: A Very Special Soup For The Soul

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Yesterday at 4:45 in the afternoon I was surprised to hear Mr. Heather shuffling through the front door.

Got off early?

I asked. To wit he replied:

No, I threw up at work… and at 23rd – Ely Avenue.

After gently chiding the Mister for not throwing up at the proper place (that being the G train) I did what had to be done; I walked across the street and purchased some ramen noodle soup. Someone (Mark Twain or possibly George Orwell) once spoke of masturbation as being a friend to the lonely and a solace to the poor —or something to that effect. I believe the same thing can be said about ramen soup: it is not only affordable to just about anyone, but every person has his or her formula for success. In the case of last night’s fare at Chez Shitty (as depicted at above left) that would be lime, culantro, red onion, cumin and asefoetida. Which brings me to this.

This Sunday, November 9, 2008 The Brooklyn Kitchen* will be hosting a Ramen-Off at Union Pool! The rules for this event appear to still be evolving, so be sure to check out their WordPress blog for more details. Be sure to participating in the “Ramen Index” while you’re there!

Brooklyn Kitchen Second Birthday Celebration/Ramen-Off
November 9, 2008, 7:00 p.m.
Union Pool
484 Union Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Bon Apetit!

Miss Heather

*Through whom I discovered the above hilarious ramen-knitting video on You Tube!

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Larry The Lighthouse

November 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This image of who (what?) was possibly my favorite marathoner comes courtesy of mugsniffer. What else can I honestly say other than this had to have been more than a wee bit uncomfortable. Yikes!

Miss Heather

Reader Question: 110 Green Street

November 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

A writes:

… (name excised) mentioned to me a while back that you live near me… and that you had also been having issues with the construction workers at magic johnson’s wonderful new condos.. and that you had phoned up and complained – do you have the phone number for the appropriate offices? i am completely fed up with them saying shit to me every single time i walk down my street..

Truth be told I did not phone these assholes up. This is because I felt blogging their bullshit (preferably with photographs) in the vain hope of shaming them publicly to be more effective. That said, my advice to you is to send a detailed letter to their sales office outlining some of the experiences you have had at the hands of the “professionals” who are building their luxury Valhalla. For shits and giggles why not copy HollabackNYC on your tome as well? In all likelihood they’ll be more than happy to publish it. As will I!

Viridian
Attn: Sales Office
110 Green Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

HollabackNYC: hollabackNYC (at) gmail (dot)com

Good luck and of course you are more than welcome to recount these gents’ assholic behavior here on New York Shitty. Last Friday I shit you not one of these turds snatched candy off my tray designated for Trick or Treating children. He and his loser cronies thought it was funny.

Assholes.

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: Election Viewing Party At 3rd Ward

November 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Tomorrow, November 4, 2008, starting at 6:00 p.m. 3rd Ward will be hosting an “after work election viewing party” replete with DJs, drinks, eats, “pork barrels”, and live silk-screening of Obama t-shirts by Brooklyn Royalty. You can bring your own shirt and they will screen it for you absolutely free or you can purchase one of their shirts on site. Check it out!

3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11237

For those of you wishing to stay closer to home Greenpoint’s very own Black Rabbit Bar will hosting an evening of Presidential Trivia starting at 8:00 p.m. (the winner gets a $25.00 bar tab!) and of course I have already mentioned t.b.d will be rolling out “Pin the tail on the Palin”.

So much to do, so little time!

Miss Heather