Filed under: Bushwick
Mister Heather (or any of my friends) will attest to the fact that I am neither well endowed with titties nor patience. This never bothered me much as both the previous preclude using power tools with total abandon. Conversely, when I do, indeed, “plan” something and pull it off they are pleasantly surprised. The key to success is keeping expectations low. That way you never fail. Which brings me to this.
I have been casing this frog on Flushing Avenue for months. Usually this playground is filled with children. Yesterday it was filled with surly Parks employees sweeping up leaves. Once we came to a silent understanding (that being: leaving each other well enough alone) I finally got my opportunity.
It was totally worth it.
AKA: How did you spend your weekend?
I spent mine hanging out home, reading, doing some (MUCH OVERDUE) house cleaning and taking some photographs. One of my fellow north Brooklynites had a much more provocative time last night. What’s more, he/she deemed it worth sharing with the world.
Punching a woman in the face. WOW. That’s much more provocative than, say, washing dishes or feeding cats— which is what I did yesterday. Occasionally I fantasize about punching the Mister in the face after picking up one “too many” of his messes. I am not a barbarian; we talk things over. What’s more, I know the penal code. Punching someone in the face is a class A misdemeanor.
I suppose then it would only be reasonable that my fellow blogger is not aware of the following either.
Threatening someone online constitutes Aggravated Harassment. Another class A misdemeanor.
Before you punch: point, click and assess the consequences, Miss Deameanor. The recipient of your criminal acts might feel compelled to prosecute.
P.S.: I didn’t publish the “choice bits” nor do I intend to.
P.S. #2: This is an embarassment to any and all people who write blogs. For the right reasons.
Filed under: Long Island City
Those of you who are suffering from “asma” or “colestoral” can find a cure at the intersection of Queens Plaza North and East!
Photo Credit: Kitchen Prof
Filed under: Williamsburg
After spending so much time on calling cards for call girls (which I am finding with increasing regularity) of late I felt compelled —AS A FEMINIST —to share a little something I found today with the womenfolk of north Brooklyn. Here it is.
I encountered this very special offer while exiting the L train at Lorimer Street. I had a sufficient grasp of Spanish (This Pervista don’t need no stinking Babel Fish!) to know it was something special. So I snapped it. When I got home I Googled “pinga” to make sure I was correct. I was.
The above solicitation translates (roughly) as follows:
It doesn’t get more clear than this, ladies. Note the lack of asking price. Perhaps this is a special one-time recession freebie? We working girls need love too!
At least the chap who scrawled this missive had the courtesy to ask before whipping it out, unlike this creep. *shudder*
Today I had the good fortune to stumble upon Beta Spaces in full swing. Not only did I bump into Adrian of Brit in Brooklyn (who is an incredibly nice chap, by the way) but I saw some great art to boot! Here are a few of my faves.
Reading the Sunday paper on Flushing Avenue.
Just look at this sun-drenched living room! I wonder how much this phat pad “in the heart of Williamsburg”* goes for a month? $2,000? More?
Behold, the Grattan Street “Heprat”!
You can see more snaps taken during my excursion “down south” by clicking here!
I have for eight years now known “The Professor” as both a nieghbor and D.J. for the Beauty Bar. What I didn’t realize until recently is he is an insanely talented photographer. Follows are a few of his snaps, see for yourself!
The new Kellogg Diner on Metropolitan Avenue.
Some Garden Spot “Sky shine”.
Our very own C-Town…
and some very lonely muffins in search of good homes at the Peter Pan Bakery!
Just another day at the Dupont Street playground.
But all of his photographs hail from North Brooklyn. This one was taken in Elmhurst, Queens. And given the history we witnessed last Tuesday I feel it is appropriate to close with this image from 14th Street in Manhattan.
You can see the previous and many more great street shots by the Professor by checking out his flickr page. Check’ em out!
*Who, like myself, found the conduct of the 94th Precinct Tuesday night out of line. Follows is my favorite passage from her spot-on post on the subject:
…There is very little justification for their (the N.Y.P.D.’s) behavior. And they only got away with it because they were doing it to white kids in Williamsburg. If they had tried to pull an action like this in Bed-Stuy it would have been an international incident.
Filed under: Area 51
One reason I do not keep a diary is because the one time I did my parents read it and I got bawled out. Big time. I suppose this is why twenty years later I elected my (on occasion) less-than-savory sentiments on the Internets: if I am to have no expectations of privacy, the more the merrier. As a matter of fact, my favorite reads from the junk shop are OTHER people’s diaries. These turn up pretty regularly. Most are pretty dull but occasionally I’ll find a real page-turner. As a result I know much intimate details from lives of people I have not and probably never will meet: the night-stands, bad days at work, good days at work, what he or she made for Christmas dinner six years ago and so forth. Which brings me to the item to the left.
This is the frontispiece from a “penny diary” I found recently. It belonged to one Lee Fisher of 443 Grand Street, New York, New York. Since it was absolutely miserable out yesterday I gave it a read. While not very detailed it did give some indication as to what the daily life of an average Joe living in the Lower East Side almost 100 years ago was like.
After mulling it over a bit I decided to embark on a little project. Publish a series of posts featuring the tomes of Mr. Fisher. Since I have no images of him or the other folks who graced his life I decided to pair select entries with images from my cache of old New York City photographs.
Here is the first installment. Enjoy!
January 8, 1917
In store until 7:30 p.m. Met the boys at Stitch’s. Saw them beat up Harry Kaplan. Some fight. Read a book. To bed.
January 19, 1917
(You can read his diary entries for January 1 – February 2 by clicking here.)
February 9, 1917
In store until 7:30 p.m. Had some ruff words with Sam about the work. Played pool. Read a mag, a few newspapers. To bed.
(You can read his diary entries for February 3 – March 4 by clicking here.)
March 28 & 31, 1917
In store until 12 o’clock, The work is getting on my nerves, Though Spring just came around. Read a newspaper. To bed.
In store until 12 mid. Spring is certainly getting on my nerves. Read newspaper went to bed.
(You can read his diary entries for March 5 – April 3 by clicking here.)
May 2, 1917
No work today. Saw the “Twin Bess” with Sis Sarah in afternoon. Went to see Belle & did not enjoy as well as usual. To bed at one.
(You can read his dairy entries from April 4 – May 3 by clicking here.)
I hope you have enjoyed this voyeuristic trip back in time. In the next installment our protagonist whiles away the summer at Coney Island, goes “machine riding” with his friends and ponders taking a trip to Cuba. Stay tuned!
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Graham Avenue.
Basically this post is an excuse to feature what has to be one of the most diabolically clever party invitations I have ever seen! Those of you who want to learn about this event (which is slated for 7:00 p.m. tomorrow at the “backroom” of Union Poll) can get the scoop by clicking here.