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Greenpoint Audio/Visual Presentation Du Jour: Fun At 1:44 a.m.

January 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

I have often been asked why I live in Greenpoint. To date I have yet to give (what I consider to be) a satisfactory answer. That all changed today at 1:44 a.m.


That is when I got to watch (and listen to) a group of three drunk hipsters cheer on one of their comrades while he wiped his ass on someone’s car.

Yeah, you can’t see jackshit in this vid but you sure as hell can hear it. It is rather difficult to channel your inner Cecil B Fucking Demille at 1:44 on a Wednesday morning. This is an hour those of us who do not have trust funds (or work third shift) can usually be found in bed. Usually.

Unless of course you have a bunch of drunken 20-somethings cavort down your block in the wee hours of the night like it is Bedford-fucking-Avenue, knocking over trash cans, trying to set off car alarms and cheering each other on to increasingly stupid, loud and obnoxious behavior. In which case you’ll find yourself sitting in front of a computer at 3:00 a.m. in Greenpoint writing about it.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: ACME

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


Since I kicked off today’s offerings with fish I thought it only fitting I conclude with this lovely photograph of Greenpoint’s very own Acme Smoked Fish (home of the “no sit” rat traps) taken by mugsniffer. Too bad it isn’t scratch and sniff!

Miss Heather

A Very Special Dung Of The Day: Street Art

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Williamsburg 

I am certain many of you hereabouts are familiar with Paul Richard. He is the guy that goes around putting his signature on stuff and calls it art. I have never been a big fan of his work (in fact I detest it). That is, until I saw this.


This delightful image comes courtesy of my Flickr contact AP. He writes:

…this was on bedford (surprise), i think between maybe N5th and 6th…just leaning against a wall.

Is it art? I don’t know. However I have only the utmost respect for someone who has the chutzpah to touch this mattress. Shit stain aside, I’d be terrified of taking a few friends home if you know what I mean! Otherwise if the former owner of this mattress is reading this, you might want to pay a visit to the Bedwetting Store.

Miss Heather

A Very Curious Phenomenon

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

(Or: The Franklin Street Lending Library)


Anyone who lives on Franklin Street near India  and has eyes (or ears) probably knows the story of this place. It used to be a garage but thanks to Karl Fischer (and the stringent criteria used for the issuance of modification permits) it is being “modified” GUTTED into a ten story luxury apartment building replete with professional office space. But the purpose of this post is not to malign this development (although it richly deserves it). Rather it is about a certain bicycle parked in the premises.


This bike, to be precise. Over the last month I have noticed a very curious phenomenon: people are leaving (exchanging?) books via its basket. Follow are a few visual aids (in chronological order) to give you a better idea what I’m talking about.


Three poetry books.


One book on web design.


My husband is a big fan of Neal Stephenson so after I took  the above photograph he nabbed this tome.


A how-to book about knitting and a book about contemporary American women artists.


The top book in this assortment is about pirates. It should be noted that took the above photograph at 8:00 p.m. When walked back by later (11:00 p.m.) the books were gone. Anyone know what’s going on here? If so, please share. My curiosity is driving me crazy!

Miss Heather

A Williamspoint Blind Item

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

question_mark_blocksmallAfter much ado I was finally able to catch up with my good buddy Rachael last night. The down side of having a bartendress as best friend is he/she keeps a radically different schedule than your own. The upshot is when you finally do meet up he/she has many an interesting tale to tell. Like today’s blind item:

Which Mexican restaurant in Williamspoint has been burglarized not just once, but TWICE in two weeks?  The perpetrator of these crimes was probably not a professional, as he only took one cash register. He left the one at the bar (which presumably would contain more money) unmolested.

Miss Heather

Image Credits: Techanob/Lost Mitten. Do point and click to see what this item is. It’s pretty darned nifty!

Has Anyone Seen Tiger?

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


I am sad to announce that Tiger, Oreo’s replacement at the Franklin Corner Store, has gone MIA.



If you have seen this handsome little guy or know of his whereabouts please contact the Franklin Corner Store. This is no weather for a cat (especially one as cute as this one) to be out on the street.

Franklin Corner Store
210 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 389-8524


Miss Heather

Interesting Reader Email Of The Day

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


David writes in an email entitled “About the amazing chicken slaughter house on Greenpoint Avenue”:

Hello Heather,

I am emailing you because I live next to the chicken slaughter house (the one next door to the Robert Scarano’s “Canvas Condominiums” and on which someone has thoughtfully inscribed “This Place Stinks”— Ed. Note) and the sidewalk in front of it has been so disgusting in the last few days that it makes me want to puke every morning on my way to work: frozen blood, guts and other feathers … and I am not even talking about that smell.

I am planning to take a picture tonight if it’s not too dark or tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I was wondering if you think I should call 311 to complain or is it hopeless? I am sure I am not the only one in this situation.

Let me know what you think.

As it would happen I passed this establishment last Saturday. It smelled so bad I was gasping for air…

FROM ACROSS THE STREET! Anyone have any advice/anecdotes about this establishment to share with David? If so, please share them in the comments section.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Food With A Face

January 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Oy Vey!

January 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


From India Street.

Miss Heather

The River Barrel Update

January 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

On January 7, 2009 I wrote:

…I have given these people quite a drubbing over their misspelled signage. Well, I am pleased to announce they have since fixed it and have learned from their bartendress (a very nice lady) that tonight they’ll be rolling out their dinner menu.* You can get a sneak peek of their offerings (including “Magic Split Pea Soup”**) by clicking here. Otherwise, you can see their brunch menu by clicking here. I have also been told they will be serving lunch on weekdays!…

Miss Heather

*Which will be rotated seasonally.
**Not be be confused with magic mushroom soup. I will never forget when I was in a defensive driving class EONS ago and I overheard a woman talk about going to Jamaica. She and her husband decided to try a bowl of “magic mushroom soup”. They were incapacitated in their hotel room for 2 days.

Well I had dinner there Saturday night and it was pretty good. The service was a bit slow as was the kitchen. The portions were odd as well, but that comes with a new restaurant. My chickpea burger and pita bread appetizer was delicious! I say give these folks a couple weeks to iron out the kinks and give them a try. Avoid ordering the Malbec unless you don’t mind paying $10.00 per glass.

The River Barrel
160 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss “Please ask for permission before posting my stuff” Heather