Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
Greenpoint Pay Phone Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
E.T. sure seems to get around.
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: Franklin Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Remember that lemur that was getting buggered by E.T. over on Franklin Street?
Well, they have broken up.
E.T. is hanging out with Santa, the Hulk and Mickey Mouse.
I’m not too sure what the lemur is doing, but it looks kind of painful.
Miss Heather
Belvedere Blow Out!
It has been some time since I have written about my buddies over at Belvedere Partners, so today I am going to redress this egregious oversight on my part and give the scoop on two, count ‘em, TWO new Belvederes! Excited yet? If not, you should be dear readers!
Belvedere XII: 150 Java Street
In keeping with the Belvedere landscape architecture paradigm, the entire frontage has received a heaping helping of cement. Planting trees and shrubs are for bleeding heart liberals who don’t appreciate the value-added qualities of concrete.
Can you find the Belvedere in this picture?
You can’t? No worries, I have gone to the trouble of labeling it for you. Belvederes have a chameleon-like tendency to blend in with 100+ year old row houses. Even ones half their size. Uncanny.
Belvedere XXIV: 490 Morgan Avenue
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the aesthetic savants at Belvedere got their hands on an existing piece of property? If so, wonder no more. I have the answer: they will make it look total and utter shit.
Photographs scarcely do this masterpiece justice. One really needs to go to 490 Morgan Avenue and behold it in all its half-assed glory in person. Not only is the “D” missing from “Belvedere”, but the cheesy lanterns gracing the front door are not even mounted straight. Nice.
Burglar bars: CHECK.
Friedrich and Fedders Boxes: CHECK.
Stucco: CHECK.
Oil storage facility down the block: CHECK.
I have long been mystified as to what “system” Belvedere uses to number their serialized schlock. Thankfully, a thorough examination of Belvedere XXII has helped me to understand the why and wherefore behind the numbering its distant cousin at 490 Morgan Avenue: it sucks twice as hard.
Haven’t had enough suckiness, you say? You crave yet more Belvedere hilarity? Check out the new Flash introduction on their web site. Belvedere Partners must be strapped for cash if they can’t hire a professional to straighten that crooked “R” on their store front. In fact, things must be really bad if the President of the company can’t outlay $4.00 for a box of Nice ‘n Easy and touch up those roots. If Mayor Mike really wanted to beautify Greenpoint he would stop planting trees, lock this woman in a beauty salon and refuse to let her out until that shit matches.
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: Wythe Avenue
Analysis: before one can love others he/she needs to learn how to love him/herself.
Miss Heather
Doublespeak or What The Fuck…
Filed under: Area 51
am I eating?!?
There are a number of reasons why I am a vegetarian. The above sign (from Devoe Street) is yet another one.
Miss Heather
Priceless
Filed under: Area 51
There has been much debate about America’s “Obesity Epidemic”. Some say you can be “fit and fat”. Others vehemently disagree.
All I’m saying is if you need a chair fortified with Rebar, it’s probably time to go on a diet.
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: 143 Huron Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This week my good friends at 143 Huron have seen fit to gift wrap their hastily erected ediface. Maybe this white cloak is a safety precaution? Though that would seem unlikely given their employees bust glass bottles on the street in front of Bagel on the Run for entertainment. To Greenpoint with love from 143 Huron Street LLC:
A hunka hunka of flaming shit.
I can hardly wait to open it. I sure hope they won’t make me wait until Christmas morning. My curiosity is killing me.
Miss Heather
Coats, Scarves and Sock Monkeys, Oh My!
First off, I would like to thank the people who have contributed canned goods and coats to The Diamond Bar or the Greenpoint Reformed Church so far. Secondly, I would also like to make my fellow Greenpointers aware that Church of the Ascension is also accepting coats on the behalf of NY Cares. Here are the details per an email I received from the woman coordinating this drive, Nicole:
We have created a NY Cares Coat Drive drop-off at the Church of the Ascension in Greenpoint to make an easy nearby drop-spot for people who wish to donate coats to this good cause. It involves nothing more than people bringing by gently-used coats and they get a tax write-off and everyone feels good and people who need coats get them.
Drop offs can be made at the Java Street entrance to Ascension Hall (121 Java Street, between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street) at the following times:
SUNDAYS, 11:00am – 1:00pm
TUESDAYS, 4:30pm – 7:30pm
WEDNESDAYS, 4:30pm – 7:30pm
SATURDAYS, 10:00am – 12:30pm
Greenpoint Church of the Ascension
121 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 389-3831
ascensionbrooklyn (at) gmail (dot) com
On a related note, I recently received an email from my friend Spring over at Love Keeps You Warm. She writes:
…all in all, we had about 200 scarves to contribute, and tons of yarn for next year! we’re going to keep accepting donations of yarn and scarves for next years baskets.
thanks!!!!
Anyone interested in contributing yarn or scarves should contact Diana via email at:
dprevitire (at) actorsequity (dot) org
Those are some great looking scarves, folks! Keep ‘em coming.
Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t give another shout out to Fresh Art’s Sock Monkey Workshop. As it would happen, a New York Shitty commenter, papercut, gave it a whirl. She wrote:
I volunteered last night at Fresh Art thanks to your post and link. I had never made a sock monkey before and I fear addiction. What a fabulous group of women and organization. They were all curious how I heard about them and when I mentioned your blog everyone was very interested. I think you have a few more readers.
Who says doing something nice for others cannot be fun? Drop off a coat, knit a scarf or make a sock monkey today!
Miss Heather
Holiday Art Sales This Weekend
94 9 Street will be conducting their Holiday Art Sale this weekend, December 8 & 9, and next weekend, December 15 & 16, from 12:00 – 5:00 p.m. Twenty resident artists will have drawings, paintings, sculpture, photographs and jewelry for sale. All items will be priced at $500 or less, which for fine art is crazy cheap nowadays.
WHAT: 94 9 Street Holiday Art Sale
WHEN: December 8 & 9, December 15 & 16, 12:00 – 5:00 p.m.
WHERE: 94 9 Street, top floor, Brooklyn, New York 11215
HOW (to get there): Take the G or F to Smith and 9th Street or the R to 4th Avenue
You know, it has been some time since I have graced south Brooklyn with my presence. Methinks I will attend this event, buy a handmade goody or two and then take a little stroll in the Slope with my good buddy Chopper the Second.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Those of you looking for something a little closer to home should check out 3rd Ward’s Handmade Holiday Craft Fair and Open House tomorrow, December 8, 12:00 – 8:00 p.m. My buddy over at Greenpointers has the scoop about this way-cool event, you can read it here.
A Few Thoughts About Bedford Avenue
Filed under: Williamsburg
Earlier this week Date Girl and I had lunch on Bedford Avenue. As we watched hordes of twenty-somethings, young adults who have both the time and (a lot of) money to burn on a Tuesday afternoon, the inevitable topic arose: how much this area has changed. Even within the last year. Our conclusion: it is NOT for the better.
Has Bedford Avenue gone to the dogs? This is an excellent question. I am pleased to report the answer is “no”.
It has gone to the dinosaurs and one of them even has a faux snow hawk.
Miss Heather
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