South 4th Street Gets Bombed… Again!

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day, Williamsburg 

It has been a while since I have checked out South 4th Street: home of what is arguably the slickest and most visually explicit anti-dog shit signage to be found in our fair city. Wishing to see how these admonishments were faring I swung by South 4th Street to see how things were shaking. I will start with the good news —I’m grading on a bell curve here— because (let’s face facts) this location isn’t going pass as dead ringer for Brooklyn Heights anytime soon: the block looked relatively clean.

And now for the bad news…

It would appear the sign itself has been bombed. I don’t know about you but what I find fascinating is the time and effort this person took to smear dog (?) feces on this missive. It would have easily have taken half the time simply to toss it in a plastic bag. Damn.

Miss Heather

A Few Events Of Interest For Our Jewish Friends

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan 

As many of you are aware Hanukkah kicks off this Sunday, December 21. Follow are a couple of events our fellow friends of the book might find of interest from Greenpoint and beyond.

First up, Greenpoint’s very own Congregation Ahavas Israel will be kicking things off a celebration this upcoming Sunday starting at 5:00 p.m. For the price of your $20.00 admission ($10.00 for the young ‘uns) you’ll get live music, dancing, dreydel games and latkes for your delectation. Yum!

Hanukkah Celebration
December 21, 2008, 5:00 p.m.
Ahavas Israel
109 Noble Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Those of you seeking festivities of the more unconventional kind (or simply like anything featuring Mexican bandits) will undoubtedly find this item (which yours truly found posted in the door of Christina’s Restaurant.

The details about this revue are pretty scant on Heeb Magazine’s web site. However, I’d gladly fork over $20.00 for an hour of free margaritas and to see anyone calling themselves Strip Dreidel and the Kinky Jews out of sheer principle. What’s more, this sounds like a helluva lot of fun!

HEEBONISM
December 24, 2008 9:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (That’s Christmas Eve to you and me.)
Fontana’s
105 Eldridge Street
New York, New York 10002

Miss “I don’t need no stinking badge” Heather

UPDATE, 4:50 p.m.: I received an email from one of the wizards over at Heeb Magazine with a most interesting clarification regarding this event. Brian writes:

Hey, you guys.

I really appreciate the plug for our party. Thanks a mill. Let me know if you guys want to come, and I’ll get you on our list.

Though I should clarify: “Strip Dreidel with Kinky Jews” isn’t a band. Rather we are actually having some hornball kosher kids play a game that involves, yes, taking their clothes off.

And there will be gift bags galore. Free Silver Bullet vibrators from Babeland. Get there early to nab ’em.

Thanks again, Shitty people!

It doesn’t get much better than this folks.

‘Tis The Season: Southside Sampler

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From South 2nd & 3rd Street.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Fun With Construction Fences On West Street

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Just think, if you lived here you’d be home(less) by now! I wonder if these digs come with a concierge?

Miss Heather

A Little Greenpoint Trivia: 1922-2007

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While the above graffiti (which hails from Green Street) is hardly anything new (it’s been around for just over 1 1/2 years now), in light of some asshole’s recent defacement of most them I have been behooved to finally write a post it here on New York Shitty. Any of you out there care to guess what this star shape and set of dates is referencing? I know what it is and its pretty darned neat!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For the reveal click here.

‘Tis The Season: Before & After

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Bedford Avenue, December 15, 2008 2:00 p.m.

Bedford Avenue, December 15, 2008 3:00 p.m.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Of Holiday Cheer & The Greenpoint Hotel*

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

*Where last Friday night I spied a fresh-faced young woman brandishing a notepad interviewing a few of the residents in the vestibule.

Reader Submission Du Jour: Calvary Cemetery 20 Years Ago

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens, Sunnyside 

This image was generous provided by New York Shitty reader (and former Pastor of the Greenpoint Reformed Church), Bodmin. He writes:

I developed the film on Thursday, 15 December; it was probably shot either that afternoon, or on the 12th or 13th. The image is absolutely straight; I never manipulate, except in traditional terms like choosing when to shoot. I’d cased the location after seeing it used in Midnight Cowboy and Shaft (Shaft II, I think); when I saw the sky that afternoon I knew it was now or never for this shot, hopped in my car and drove over the Greenpoint Bridge and got it, somewhere between 4 and 4:30, as the sun set through the magenta murk. It became part of my Cemetery Series, which was put together as a personal memorial to a friend and fellow Greenpoint photographer, Bill Vetel, in that first wave of artists in the 1970s, who had rebuilt an old flophouse down on the block of Greenpoint Avenue between West and the pier/radio mast, and who had died of a heart attack at age 43 earlier in 1983. It kind of shook me; I was the last person to have seen him alive, and he was the first person more or less my own age to go.

Firstly, I would like to thank Bodmin for sharing this lovely image with us. It should also be noted that Bill Vetell’s widow, Barbara, is alive, well and very active in matters of Greenpoint interest. Including Friends of Transmitter Park!

Miss Heather

Urban Artifacts Du Jour: Greenpoint Vs. The Southside

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Anyone who lives in North Brooklyn will tell you its streets are a treasure trove of interesting stuff. Just take this splendid example from Huron Street.

No, I am not talking about the discarded copy of Harlan Coben’s Gone For Good my intrepid Greenpointers. It is of the wooden box I write!

I didn’t know our fair city did curbside recycling for ordnance. Before you grab your respective telephones and get your Department of Homeland Security on dear readers be advised that there were no explosive projectiles in this container: only a few scraps from a metal frame.

Alas, there will be no revolution in the Garden Spot. Or it has already begun. In which case I suppose there really isn’t much we can do about it except wait for Big Bertha to be rolled out by the Greenpoint People’s Liberation Army (or some similarly guerilla-ish sounding movement).

Greenpoint never ceases to amaze me with its little surprises. After finding the above item I (foolishly) thought to myself:

It’s not going to get any more interesting than this.

Then I sojourned down to South 3rd Street and was proven wrong. Very wrong.

Even though this smiling little fella was unceremoniously crammed into a bucket of grout I knew what laid before me.

Behold the Southside inflatable schlong! In keeping with my mission to save the world’s (or at least Brooklyn’s) stray adult novelty population* I promptly snatched this little critter up and (being all too aware of the possible risk of bringing some unwanted friends home) I (as I have done with all penises I have brought home before) subjected him to a rigorous inspection. He passed with flying colors and we headed home.

A rather elderly Orthodox gentleman didn’t seem to be very pleased when I hopped on board with my new, 24″ (deflated— but circumsized!) friend. But that’s what I love about America; he can worship in the manner his conscious suits him without fear of persecution and I can ride the B61 with an inflatable penis.

I’m not too sure what I am going to do with my new penis other than give him a thorough soaking in a solution of 3 parts water and one part Clorox. After which I will probably introduce him to the “the girls“. Slowly. I suspect they’ll get along smashingly.

Miss Heather

*I was recently given a new batch of abandoned marital aids in need of rehabiliation and some TLC. Stay tuned!

THIS WEEKEND: A Very Special Sabbath Celebration

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I have a confession to make: I despise the holiday season. Not only are the days too damned short (Sunset at 4:30 p.m.? Is this really necessary?) but the reason for the season seems to be lost on most. Instead of being kind to their fellow man and lending a hand to those less fortunate than themselves many of our fellow New Yorkers are quibbling over who will purchase that last widescreen television, electronic gizmo (that will undoubtedly be obsolete in a year) or trampling some hapless temp at Walmart. In other words acting like class “A” certified assholes. And some Americans have the temerity to wonder why the rest of the world hates us? But I digress.

Fortunately this upcoming weekend there will be an event for people like myself: Monster Island’s 7th Annual Holly Jolly Sabbath.Those of you who are angry, tired, wanting this Christmas thing to be over already and are Black Sabbath fans (like myself) here are the rules.

There is no mention as to whether Ronnie James Dio “Sabbath” will be included in this event. I certainly hope not. I’m an Ozzy gal 100%!

Holly Jolly Sabbath
December 21, 2008 (no time indicated, but I am certain the later you show up the more interesting it will be)
Monster Island
Metropolitan Avenue between Kent Avenue and River Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

For the record this post was writted while listening to “Crazy Train”.

Miss Heather