THIS WEEKEND: Scent & Cinema

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

First up I have been advised there are still seats available for this weekend’s cruise up shit creek. Anyone interested in enjoying this upcoming Sunday by having “an intense Newtown Creek exploration” on a “comfortable charter boat” should can purchase tickets via:

I have been told complimentary soft drinks and snacks will be served.

Newtown Creek Boat Tour
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Boat leaves at 1:00 p.m. from the Skyport Marina at East 23rd Street

For those of you who do not find the previous to be your cup of tea, 3rd Ward will be kicking off the first evening of NYC’s Best Short Films the very same day:

This FREE screening series, brings the very best in local filmmaking to Brooklyn. The debut show on September 14th will feature Matthew Lessner’s Darling Darling, starring our favorite awkward teen from Juno and Arrested Development, Michael Cera, Astronauts Visit New York by Joanne Getson and Carmen by Leat Klingman, Re’ut Ben-Ze’ev, and Claudia La Rocco.

NYC’s Best Film Shorts
September 14, 2008 (second Tuesday of every month thereafter)
Third Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11237

Doors open at 7:00 p.m. Interested attendees should RSVP via email at: moviehouse (at) 3rdward (dot) com

Miss Heather

Luxury Isn’t What It Used To Be

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I discovered this missive recently on Broadway. I thought it was damned funny so I took a photograph of it. Then I swung over to Graham Avenue and learned that I hadn’t seen NOTHING yet!

Behold the lap of luxury in north Brooklyn.

One would think with all the austerity measures the builder of this, a most novel approach to luxury, he or she could at least invest in a decent light fixture. The way things are going they’ll be pitching indoor plumbing or heated squat toilets as “luxury amenities” soon enough.

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: Calyer Street Flea Market

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Now that summer is officially over I am pretty stoop-saled out! But when I found this flier for a mega sale I knew it was too good not to pass along. They’re even selling cupcakes!

Flea Market
Saturday, September 13, 2008 9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
126-130 Calyer Street (between Clifford and Guernsey Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Boobification Photo du Jour: Sugar Tits

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Williamsburg 

One thing I have observed thus far in my boobification project is when people (especially men) see me walking purposely down the street with a pair rubber tits they leave you alone. Sure they will watch me attach these appendages to one piece of public property or another and take a photograph of it. But nary soul has bothered to ask me what I am doing. Or why. Until yesterday on Kent Avenue, that is.

20-Something Man With Camera:

Why are you molesting that hydrant?

Miss Heather: I’m a pervert. I can’t help myself. I’m taking the girls to East Williamsburg next.

He thought this was incredibly funny. I suppose it is— but the way I see it there are two kinds of people in this world:

  • The ones who ask why you are molesting a fire hydrant.
  • The ones who ask why you aren’t molesting a fire hydrant.

Given all the shit I have seen in New York Shitty I suspect the latter group is much larger than many of you think!

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can see more Brooklyn boobification pix by clicking here!

9/11 Photo du Jour: Franklin Street, Greenpoint

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Mr. Heather's Kamera Korner 

It wasn’t until we looked at this photograph (taken by Mr. Heather) later that we realized he had caught a plane piercing the one of the ghost towers. Weird.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: <3

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Wythe Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Pay Phone du Jour: MIA In Front Of The OTB

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While more subtle than the payphones I usually feature here on New York Shitty, I really like this specimen. It’s like the receiver crawled into the change slot to hide. Given the phone in question is located directly in front Off Track Betting on Manhattan Avenue I can’t exactly say I blame it. After being handled one too many times by the sexy beasts which constitute OTB’s clientele base it finally had enough.

Miss Heather

At Last Somebody Who Understands!

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I have no doubt this will get the bicyclistas panties in a collective wad but I’m gonna post it anyway…

Earlier this week the Mister and I went to Long Island City to get some dinner. To this end we walked across the Pulaski Bridge. Actually we we didn’t just walk, we multi-tasked: about every twenty feet or so we had to dodge some jerk on a bicycle. There are signs posted asking these brave foot soldiers in the battle for a greener New York City to dismount. I have seen them, apparently they haven’t. Of course I imagine it is kind of hard to read when you are tearing down the sidewalk like a bat out of hell.

I want to like bicyclists, really I do. But until some of the less considerate among their ranks decide the law applies to them, I’m keeping my distance…

and I suspect we’ll be seeing more signs like this.

Miss Heather

ACHIEVEMENT

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

It’s a long story but I came across this banner ad while searching for a photograph of Luca Brasi and simply HAD to pass it along. It comes from a web site for a radio station in Wisconsin. At long last I understand why I have not fulfilled my potential: I do not have a career in the fast food industry. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when the “think tank” (which undoubtedly was paid a very nice sum of money) came up with this doozy.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Patriot Day

September 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Nassau Avenue.

Miss Heather