Abandon All Hope…

July 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Fedders Friday, Williamsburg 

(ye who enter here)

Today I am proud to announce a small but significant Fedders Friday first. Ordinarily when I spy a building worthy of being given a F.F. nod, it is based on the front of the building alone. This beauty (which hails from Hope Street) first caught my eye just around the corner on Havermeyer.

I know what you’re thinking:

Sure, those balconies (which appear to have had some gray sludge drizzled on them) have a pretty crappy view, but otherwise this isn’t that bad.

Well, in order to truly appreciate this building one must compare the back with the front.

Other than the two huge balconies, they bear no relationship with each other whatsoever. It sort of reminds me of Two Face from Batman Forever.*

Except of course, the Joker was merciful enough not to stick a garage in the middle of Harvey Dent’s kisser. Ouch.

Miss Heather

*Or The Dark Knight, take your pick.

Retail Space Coming To Oak Street

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As I was walking home from checking out the scene at Calyer and Franklin Street I spied this brand-spanking new conversion on Oak Street. Suspecting that this is a residential to commercial conversion I looked it up when I got home: it is. Although Franklin is certainly thriving nowadays this storefront does feel a little off the beaten path. Needless to say I am very, very interested to see what happens with this space and have to commend the owner for doing a professional job. The latter is a bit of a rarity here in the Garden Spot.

Miss Heather

This Just In

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

If any of you are wondering exactly what happened on Franklin between Oak and Calyer Street, I have the answer! Apparently water leaked into an underground power line and Con Ed’s emergency crew are busy replacing it. Those of you who are thinking about driving or biking through this area (Franklin from Greenpoint Avenue to Calyer) should be extra careful, as visibility can be very limited —or better yet, take an alternative route like Lorimer or Guernsey.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Then & Now: Shanghai Lee

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Today’s installment hails from the intersection of Bedford and Manhattan Avenue. If you look carefully at the old photograph you will see the spirit of Shanghai Lee’s past.

And just as I stated in this post, if you look carefully at the facade of what is now Le Brique today you will still see a glimpse of Shanghai Lee’s future!*

Miss Heather

*Before moving to Franklin Street, that is.

Hipster: The Rock Band

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Yesterday afternoon as I walked down Bedford Avenue I realized that the term “hipster” has indeed eaten itself. Once an epithet used by the unimaginative towards affluent 20-somethings, it has since become the nom de guerre for musical entertainers. Entertainers, who in all probability entertain hipsters. Oh, the irony.

For a mere six bucks you can see “Picked Clean By Hipsters” and the up and coming rock-n-roll juggernaut “Manboob”.

For those of you who are less patient, more anarchistic or simply cannot afford to shell out six bucks, the “Reagan Youth”, “Leftover Crack” and “Star F*cking Hipsters” will be playing for free this weekend at Tompkins Square Park.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Real Estate Rhetoric Part II

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Long Island City 

“L” is for Laughable.

“M” is for My, my what a horrible location.

“N” is for No one in their right mind would pay top dollar for this.

“O” is for Oh my, was that semi that just roared by my living room?!?

And last, but not least, “P” stands for Pulaski Bridge.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Puts Manhattan Avenue Bike Lanes To Good Use

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I am still fascinated by the responses to my post about the newly created bike lanes on Manhattan Avenue. Streetsblog called it “hysterical” by which I suspect they meant “alarmist” and/or “anti-bicycle”. So be it. If some people want to construe my concern about the safety of pedestrians and bicyclists in such a manner there’s nothing I can do about it. In any case, over the last week I have seen bicyclists using this new path, along with a few folks of the four wheel persuasion.

When this guy (from Java Car Service) noticed I was taking his picture he immediately tried to extricate himself from this bike lane.

Worried that your dry cleaning won’t arrive on time? Don’t worry, the city has provided ample parking.

Need a quart of milk? Why bother parking, it will just cost money at the meter. Why not use the bike lane instead?

The same goes for the Garden. Isn’t it, after all, “greener” to park your car (and truck) in the bike lane instead of idling?

The same goes for scoring that valuable parking space. Why go around the block when you can sit in the bike lane and wait for the guy to pull out instead? You saw that spot first, dammit! It’s yours!*

Miss Heather

*This is satire. Those of you who don’t/can’t/won’t “get it” might be interested to know that the fair babes of the Emerald Isle are in grave danger. But I suppose cannibalism is greener than factory farming.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: The Duke

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

In keeping with this morning’s cowboy theme I present to you John Wayne courtesy of North 5th Street!

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

July 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

That’s right folks, tomorrow is the big night! Those of you who are interested in watching Maestro Eastwood do what he does best (READ: kick some serious ass) should be sure to arrive before 8:30 p.m.!

Miss Heather

Comment Of The Week

July 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

This masterpiece of post-Feminist (and decidedly anti-Twinkie) rhetoric comes from a chap who calls himself* “REALITY”. It is in regards to this post about Studio B. Enjoy!

I have read your site, you have to be the most sexually frustrated person in the neighborhood. I have live here for around 20 years and I have never seen anyone BITCH as much as you. If I had to guess you have to be an over weight fat chick that has no life and wants others to be miserable like yourself. I also figure you don’t get out much either, and looking at your site when you do its to BITCH. If you don’t like the area or whats going on move back to where ever you came from because anyone reading your blogs damn well know you are not from new york and if you are you gotta be from the freaking suburbs. Do everyone a favor move out of the neighborhood, and if you can’t do that stick one of those Twinkies that you have been fattening yourself on in your mouth because that seems to be the only time anyone will be happy. Get out of your apartment lose some weight and maybe you might get a guy who will take you out in public which would be like a place like the Underground, Exit , Studio B hell maybe even to the zoo. In closing GET A LIFE and leave the neighborhood alone it was fine before you got there and it will be better off when you leave.

You know I thought about “getting a guy” to take me out “in public”, but then I realized my husband would probably not be too keen on the idea. Oh well. In any case, “REALITY” sure talks a tough game. Too bad his mommy didn’t teach him about IP addresses (good grammar or gender sensitivity).

Note how the IP addresses for Agnes Piekarska (the Manager of Studio B) and “REALITY” match.

Now if you don’t mind, I’m off to buy some Twinkies.

Miss Heather

*Although I suppose this could be a woman.