The Halloween Parade Cometh!

October 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I missed this last year but you can rest assured I will be there with bells on this time around! Get cracking folks— you only have ten days left to get your canine’s couture ready! The parade starts at 2:00 p.m. and “tons of giveaways, costume judging, information and grand prizes” are promised!

Halloween Parade & Party
October 26, 2008, 2:00 p.m.
McGolrick Park (corner of Driggs and Russell Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Halloween Photo du Jour: Alice In Chains

October 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Humboldt Street.

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday: Back With A Vengeance

October 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Fedders Friday 

I’ll admit it. I have been sorely remiss recording the impact Fedderization has taken on our fair borough. Thankfully I went to Sunset Park last weekend and got my religion revulsion back. Big time.

EXAMPLE 1

The air conditioning boxes are technically Friedrichs but I am conferring honorary Fedders status to this building for the following reasons:

  1. It is ugly as hell.
  2. Sports no plant life whatsoever (save what the city dictates).
  3. Exposed gutters and mismatched brickwork: clearly this developer thought he (or she) could go higher. It didn’t happen so now we have this partial birth abortion.
  4. with obnoxious balconies…
  5. and security cameras.

EXAMPLE 2

Another Sunset Park beauty…

Replete with concrete, electric and gas meters.

EXAMPLES 3 & 4

Those of you who are more D.C. comic savvy know of Bizarro Superman. Now I present to you the Bizarro Fedders Special twins! They’re not prettier, only different. And very special!

Rapunzel…

Rapunzel let down your hair…

So I can climb up and get into your underwear!

— Beastie Boys.

Could someone explain the following to me?

An (ostensible) architect is responsible for this abomination. Who? I must know!

In closing which one of these buildings doesn’t look like the others?

If you guessed the towering pile of beige crap in the middle you are correct!

God bless you, Sunset Park. You need it.

(To be continued)

Miss Heather



Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: The Quantum of Shoeless

October 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

1-877-BUNION-1 has upgraded their marketing strategy (THANK GOD) but the latest “Bond Girl”* clearly disapproves.

Miss Heather

*Not that I care. I quit giving a damn after Maud Adams.

Well Actually, They Aren’t

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The Village Voice writes:

Bad news: The Mushroom Jazz guy is prominently involved. But even if Mark Farina’s snoozy house series leaves you cold, it’ll be swell to see somebody — anybody — onstage again at the beleaguered Greenpoint spot, shuttered since August due to various neighborly unpleasantries. Very very doubtful all Studio B’s legal/community issues have been magically solved, and things are still in flux there: As Annie Fischer just noted in the Voice, Justine D., the club’s events coordinator and talent buyer, resigned last week.

I am sad to see Justine leave (she was the owner of the Jaguar with Florida plates perpetually parked in front of this place, yes?). I am also disappointed to see Studio B operating (once again) without proper paperwork in place. It’s the same song, albeit different verse…

Anonymous wrote:

Looks like they’ve been doing what they need to get sign offs to get a TCO and the subsequent PA permit (the cabaret license is contingent on those two items). They’ll have zoning use group 12 on the CO (which is the cabaret designation, but it won’t be legal to use it as such until they get the cabaret.  Read: they’ll be legal but can’t dance).

They got final electrical and plumbing sign offs this month. That’s 50% of the TCO requirements. The remaining 50% breaks down like this: 25% elevator sign off (slam dunk cause there are no elevators–I assume); the last 25% is passing the construction inspection. The following link is under the “items required” tab under the Alt 1 (CO amendment application) BIS page.  http://a810-bisweb.nyc.gov/bisweb/COApplicationSummaryServlet?requestid=4&passjobnumber=310114122&passdocnumber=01&allisn=0001489552&allbin=3065254 They’re banking that they can finish that, get the TCO and PA permit before the 12th or whatever the date is. Can they do it? Meh, that’s a real push.

There is something amiss I noticed.  There is no CO aplication on file under the Alt 1. That’s weird cause it should be there and they shouldn’t have been able to get the electrical and plumbing sign offs without it on file

If one wanted to be a real pain in the arse, one would write a letter to Brooklyn Borough Commissioner Magdi Mossad requesting a special audit…

This is my letter to you Magdi Mossad.

I want a “special audit” of Studio B’s (AKA: 259 Banker Street) paperwork because they clearly have no regard for your agency or the laws you purportedly enforce. (They’ve been hosting events for several weeks now lest you have not noticed). I’ve heard the D.O.B. doesn’t sleep but they occasionally “close their eyes”. Is this true? Say it ain’t so, Joe Magdi.

Everyone else I know here “plays by the rules” why shouldn’t Studio B? Or are they special?*

Miss Heather

P.S.: While I’m at it, Magdi (I feel like I know you given the recent spate of Stop Work Orders you have issued in my ‘nabe) perhaps you could explain to me why Club Exit is still in business after three incidences of gun play this year? 94th Precinct? Community Board 1? Joe Lentol? Anyone?

*e.g.; soapy sam and greasing palms.

TOMORROW: Horror For The Masses

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

No, I am not talking about another Presidential debate. Rather I speak of this.

Blue Gate Movies will be screening a different horror movie each and every Friday night starting tomorrow!

Blue Gate Movies
112 Meserole Avenue
(between Manhattan Avenue & Leonard Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222

What’s more, admission is absolutely free! Who can argue with that?

Miss Heather

Has Anyone Seen Lily?

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

Suzy O writes:

My 16 year old cat has gone missing as of Tuesday. There is construction going on directly next door; perhaps that spooked her. I live on Monitor between Nassau and Norman. I would be so grateful if you could post this on your site; I’m worried sick. Her name is Lily, and she is very gentle and friendly. She is also perfectly healthy, no diseases.

If you have seen Lily please contact Suzy via email at suzyo (at) nyc (dot) rr (dot) com. You can see the ad she has posted on Craigslist by clicking here.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Free Market Capitalism At Its Very Finest

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

If there is one word I would use to describe the Greenpoint entrepreneur it would be “innovator”. Where else in this city (and perhaps the world) can you find a graffiti store just down the block from a business that makes sorbet out of wine which in turn is just a hop-skip away from a shop which has shackles and a $400 muskrat for sale? Don’t everyone speak up at once now.

Yes sir, the Garden Spot of the Universe is a very special place and I just learned it is set to become even more special.

As I walking home from getting my hair cut at Zoe’s Beauty Spa & Salon (Anna gives great cuts, by the way) I spied these chaps working on this lovely old garage on Greenpoint Avenue. I was delighted to see this nifty building getting a face lift and decided to tell them so.

Miss Heather: I’m really happy to see someone is finally doing something with this building. What’s it going to be? A restaurant?
Man: A beer spa.
Miss Heather: A… beer… spa?
Man: Yes, a beer spa. Greenpoint has enough bars. We’re selling boutique beer. You’ll be able to knock back a beer and get a nice massage.
Miss Heather: You’re serious?
Man: Of course I am! See that van over there?

Miss Heather: Yes.
Man: That’s my business. You like beer?
Miss Heather: Mostly in the summer —although I’ve been known to like a nice amber ale in cooler months.
Man: We’ll be selling those, so be sure to check us out!
Miss Heather: Will do.

So there have you folks. I suspect I speak for many of my fellow Greenpointers when I say I hope this (unfolding) story has a happy ending!

Miss Heather

Halloween Photos du Jour: Dead Man’s Ship

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Russell Street.

From Humboldt Street.

Is it just me or does the chap on the right bear a striking resemblance to Tommy Lee?

Miss Heather

ALPHABETA: Beautifying Greenpoint…

October 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

one magic bus at a time!

Earlier this week I noticed the boys at Alphabeta busy at work*. I simply had to see what they were up to so I went in for a closer look.

Man overbored!

See what happens when you give a bunch of kids spray paint? Little pink bunny rabbits and canine delinquency…

…art work where none used to be…

and motor vehicles powered by veggie oil.

Miss Heather

*In our new bike lane. Tut, tut…