Borixon Is Back!

July 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Thanks to the Polish Hip-Hop Festival I have developed a fascination for the rhyming sensation that is Borixon. Until yesterday (when I learned he and his homeboy “Mr. Renaissance” will be kicking it old school style in the tri-state area soon) I never understood why: my affection for The Trailer Park Boys!

On the left is Borixon, Polish rapper and all around badass. On the right is J-Roc, one of my favorite characters* from the Trailer Park Boys.

It is rather difficult to describe the glory that is this show. Simply put, the Trailer Park Boys is about about a bunch of petty criminals/high school drop-outs who live in the Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Nova Scotia. Their passions are (as best as I can describe them) trying to make easy money, getting drunk and eating chicken fingers. Though filmed in Canada, the humor is easily understood by Americans. Including Greenpointers!

Photo Play has an extensive collection of Trailer Park Boys episodes. By all means rent them. They are hilarious!

Photo Play
928 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

(718) 383-7782

Here’s a snippet from one of my favorite episodes: F**k Community College. Let’s get Drunk And Eat Chicken Fingers. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

*The other being Bubbles.

THIS WEEKEND: Back(yard) Sale at 99 Java Street

July 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I am very hinky about buying used box springs, but the 1940′s armoire with side table, schoolhouse chair set and circus posters sound pretty neat.

<back>yard sale*
July 19 & 20, 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
99 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

*Not to be confused with backdoor man

Introducing The New York Loft Hostel!

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

I happened across this flier at the Northside Pharmacy today while running errands. After recoiling from yet another gratuitous use of the grossly over-used term loft, all I could muster in the way of a response was What the fuck?!? As soon I got home I looked at their web site. What I found was quite interesting. Amenities include:

  1. Free Internet
  2. Free parking
  3. Free cable television
  4. Free long distance calling
  5. A 2,000 square foot garden replete with jacuzzi and pool is promised in the future
  6. Manufacturing space for upstairs and downstairs neighbors

Well, I actually learned point #6 by checking out the Department of Buildings’s web site. I guess at $25.00 a night this is a pretty good deal. Unless of course someone beats you senseless at the conveniently located Morgan Avenue stop of the L and steals your wallet.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Check out their advertisement on Craigslist! They’ve lowered it to $19.00 a night! WHAT A DEAL!

Lest the previous has been pulled you can see it by clicking here.

From The Greenpoint Grapevine

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I have it on reliable intelligence that the owners of Jack O’Neills (wishing to go back to Ireland) have placed the business up for sale. In fact, I was told it has been on the market for some time. I have no idea what they are asking in the way of a price for this beautifully appointed business but I suspect it might be a tough sell given there are currently six bars on Franklin Street with another two in the works. That makes eight drinking establishments on this street. Nine if you include the Greenpoint Coffeehouse. Yikes!

Miss Heather

Question Of The Day

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are organizing an event at McCarren Park. In this case, Slacro Fest “an eco-conscious fundraiser with all proceeds going to support The Mindfulness Challenge”. You want to get the word out, so you print out a bunch of fliers— and I mean a BUNCH of them. Now it is time to get the word out. You can:

  1. Post them in the usual places, e.g.; on light poles, fire alarms, storefronts, etc.
  2. Staple them on trees surrounding McCarren Park
  3. Both of the above.

If you picked 3 you are absolutely correct, albeit it not environmentally so!

This flier graces a tree on Bedford Avenue.

This flier graces a tree on North 12th Street.

As does this one…

and this one.

Perhaps I am splitting hairs here, but this strikes me as being decidedly NON eco-friendly behavior.

Just a thought.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Hospital To Get A Facelift?

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Earlier this week I finally got around to going to Cooper Park. Of all the parks in the Greenpoint vicinity it is by far my favorite. Not only has it been beautifully restored, but its public lavatories is by far the finest to be had hereabouts. There is always an ample supply of toilet paper and the facilities are clean. But I digress.

As I was walking down Maspeth Avenue I noticed the Greenpoint Hospital (which is located across the a street) has been given the Christo treatment.

I was pretty bummed out that the beautiful facade of this building is now concealed. On the other hand if this building is getting a top-to-bottom overhaul, I think this is terrific news! My only question is: What will it be used for? Per the Department of Buildings, it will be “community facility” with parking to accommodate seven cars. The fact St. Nicholas Neighborhood Preservation Corporation now calls the site of the former outpatient annex home definitely lends some credence to this.

It should also be noted that a large number of vehicles for the New York City Department of Homeless Services grace the premises. Perhaps this will be a support center for the unhoused? I suppose only time will tell. In any case I suspect I speak for many when I say I am dying to know what the future will hold for this terrific old complex and will be delighted to see it finally restored to some semblance of its former glory!

Miss Heather

Subway Photo du Jour: Mamma Mia!

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Oh look, she has her father’s eyes. We all have someone from the Queens-bound platform of the Crosstown Local at Greenpoint Avenue to thank for saving us ten bucks (and listening to A LOT of ABBA). As you can clearly see, Dexter is Sophie’s father.

Miss Heather

PHOTO CREDIT: Mr. Heather

Great Moments In Urban Planning, Volume I

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday my buddy Kevin over at Forgotten New York emailed me a question. It was regarding a post on Streetsblog and read as follows:

Is Manhattan Ave the right place for a bike lane, as busy as it is?

And here is my answer: second only to perhaps McGuinness Boulevard or the BQE, Manhattan Avenue is one of the worst places imaginable to have a bike lane. Here is why.

This is the intersection of Green Street and Manhattan Avenue. Green Street is a popular thoroughfare for motorists (many of whom are cabbies) to turn around and head back to the Pulaski Bridge. While annoying, the added traffic is not the problem. Rather, it is the general reluctance on the part of motorists to obey the law. As a result I have seen many an accident come to pass here. If it has legs or wheels you can rest assured it has been thoroughly pulverized by some miscreant-on-wheels running this stop sign. Follows are a few that things that have been hit at this intersection by negligent motorists:

  1. One subcompact car
  2. One tractor trailer hauling construction materials
  3. A dog
  4. A bicyclist
  5. A child

Of incidental interest, here are a few things I have seen transpire where this bike lane will be installed.

  1. One crazy-ass dude being tazered repeatedly by the police.
  2. Some drunk guy passed out in the street. The locals, being acclimatized to this sort of thing, placed a street cone in front of this chap and called 311.

And now we are to have a bike lane here? Why doesn’t the city charge a bounty on bicyclists or host some Death Race 2000-esque type of event at this intersection instead? The end result will pretty much be the same.

I know what some of you are thinking: Why not call 311 and complain about people blowing through this intersection? I HAVE. After almost being hit myself. Once I even went to the trouble of complaining to a meter maid present writing a ticket. In both cases absolutely nothing was done. Until our city decides to enforce the rules of the road (for motorists and bicyclists) I see no viable reason why a bike lane should be installed on Manhattan Avenue. Franklin Street (which already has a bicycle lane)* is a much safer alternative.

What’s more, putting a bicycle lane in the path of a bus route strikes me as being downright idiotic. B43 bus service is bad enough as is, why make it worse?

Miss Heather

*See comments

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Freeman Street

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I would like some leather restraints with my granite counter tops please!

Miss Heather

Construction Site du Jour: Location, Location, Location

July 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone who has worked in real estate for any appreciable amount of time will tell you the key to selling a property is its location.

This is why I find the above property (which is located at 214 Green Street) so fascinating: it is located on a corner many would consider less than desirable. Or would they?

If you want to, say, catch a cab or gas up your car this condominium cannot be beat!

What’s more, the tenant of the first floor will not even need to own a vacuum cleaner. He or she can simply reach out the window, pop in a few quarters and viola clean apartment!

Miss Heather