Found In Williamsburg

July 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I will refrain from commenting on this flier (from Powers Street). It pretty much speaks for itself.

Miss Heather

Salvation For Sale

July 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Ever wondered what’s going on with that old church on Kent Street? Well, other from being a home for lost toys it’s slated to be converted into housing by Hirsch Enterprises. 35-38 units of it to be more or less precise. Will any of these units be affordable? At first Alfred V. Saulo answered “no” but shortly thereafter changed his answer to “I don’t know.”

Regardless he had ample material to present to Community Board 1.

The Landmarks Commission saw fit to preserve the stained glass windows on the first floor and the rose window, but clear glass will be employed on the upper floors to accommodate the new tenants of this building. Solar panels will be installed on the roof save the east section of the “Sunday School”, as the LPC thought it too visible from the street.

When questioned about the “precedent” for installing clear glass windows in a church conversion Mr. Saulo, architect, demurred. He also hedged aroundthe removal of the “religious icon” gracing said edifice, something that very much upset the residents of Kent street present. When queried as to what accommodations would be given in regards to providing parking this property, Mr. Saulo, however, gave a straight answer: none. This is because as a landmarked property it is exempt!

St. Elia’s (Elijah’s) is for sale! I wonder how much these units will cost. Anyone?

Miss Heather

Best. Mailbox. Ever.

July 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens 

I don’t know about you but I hate mail. I’ve had unemployment insurance checks filched and endorsed because my mailbox was not secure. Our mailman is a peach— but receiving mail (when my felonious neighbors see fit to let me receive it, anyway) —usually involves bill-paying which, quite frankly, is depressing.

How does one gently discourage mail theft and creditors? Someone in Woodside has the answer!

Would you want to place your sticky little fingers into this? I didn’t think so.

Miss Heather

Transmitter Park, Updated!

July 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

2004

2008!

Last night the Parks Department unveiled the revised plans for Transmitter Park— and they looked fantastic! The modifications from the original plan include moving the entrance to Kent Street, eliminating the pods on the pier to make it more friendly to marine life, a kayak launch and a pier for future ferry service! Click on the above image to see a larger image of the revised plan for yourself. Here are some highlights.

A rendering of the new pier which includes a “fish-cleaning pod”.

Why someone would want to fish on the East River —much less take their catch home and eat it— is beyond me. Then again, I am a vegetarian.

Here’s an artist’s rendering of the pier. Care was taken by the designers to ensure it was sufficiently elevated.

A rendering of the bridge and overlook on the waterfront.

The play area was downsized. Barbara Vetell, a member of the Friends of Transmitter Park Committee aired concerns about animals living in the “raised sand play area“.

In any case, here are a few appointments planned for said play area.

Here’s a cross-section of the shore of the park.

All in all it looked like a very nice proposal. But when will it happen?

Miss Heather

Cabaret License Riddle

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

What do you do when you when you manage a night club that has received a lot of bad press and seeks to get a cabaret license after operating without one for years?

If you’re Studio B you offer to “reach out” to disgruntled neighbors by having a barbecue and hire a former city councilman to argue your case. Mr Fisher, now a lobbyist* for such businesses as Two Trees Management and the Kingsland Group put on quite a show. He told everyone present not to believe the “second” and “third-hand reports”. Hilarity ensued.

The problem with acting like there is no problem is a handful of Greenpointers might be on hand to tell you otherwise. What’s more, can a woman pick up her dog’s crap without being propositioned? For shame!

In all seriousness, Mr. Fisher’s speech was not only a farce, it was an INSULT to the intelligence of Community Board 1 and the hardworking people who have the misfortune of calling Studio B a neighbor. The Public Safety Committee will convene to hold a vote regarding Studio B’s Cabaret license on July 31, 2008 at 6:30 p.m. Who will prevail? Only time will tell.

Miss Heather

*Whose specialty is Real Estate and Independent Contractor Compliance.

Che On Clay

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

First it was a woman with Che’s face tattooed on her arm and now this. Poor Mr. Guevara, look what popular culture has done to you!

Miss Heather

Express Yourself

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Many will attest that Greenpoint has a vibrant artistic community. Hell, even our local MRI office is looking for artists to liven up their premises.

Therefore it came as little surprise to yours truly when I discovered someone on Clay Street elected to warn his (or her) neighbors of bedbug infested material in a manner that is both informative and visually engaging.

This may very well be the harbinger of a new art movement: Bedbug Expressionism a la Christo!

Is it just my art education talking or does this have a certain Jackson Pollock-esque je nais sais quoi?

Miss Heather

Fozzie Bear: Rest In Pieces

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

It has been awhile since I have seen dear old Fozzie, the DOTmobile’s mascot.

The date was July 25, 2007 and he had clearly seen better days. I even wrote an obit for Greenpoint’s furry friend. But almost a year later I discovered I was a bit premature reporting of his demise.

Per a reliable source at the Department of Transportation I have learned that Fozzie’s body was “ripped off”. It is unclear whether this gentlemen used the term “ripped off” to denote that his body was stolen or irrevocably separated from his head. Maybe he meant both? In any case, he is no longer with us.

Alas poor Fozzie, I knew him well.

Those of you wishing to send your condolences should know that Fozzie is survived by Barney the Dinosaur and the hardworking men at the Department of Transportation depot at 130 Clay Street. May he rest in peace.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Streethenge

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From the Newtown Creek Nature Walk.

Miss Heather

Art & Artists Wanted

July 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Greenpoint Diagnostic Imaging at 1024 Manhattan Avenue is looking for local (READ: Greenpoint) artists who would like to hang work (for sale, naturally) in their office! In addition they are seeking proposals for jazzing up their front gate (a mural, perhaps?). Anyone wishing to displaying work or help beautify G.D.I.’s rather drab security gate (listening out there, Alphabeta?) should contact Dave at (718) 389-5000.

All ideas are welcome!

Miss Heather