TOMORROW: Burlesque At The L.E.S.

August 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Tomorrow a fellow Greenpointer, Dizzy Swank, will be having a birthday burlesque blow-out at the Slipper Room. Tickets cost only $5.00! So if you happen to be knocking around the Lower East Side tomorrow why not swing by, check it out and wish a neighbor a happy birthday? You’ll have a lot of fun!

Burlesque Birthday Show
167 Orchard Street
New York, New York 10002

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Keep It To Yourself

August 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Metropolitan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Manhattan Avenue

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This is Piggly Wiggly via the Buckeye State.

This is Piggly Wiggly Garden Spot Style.

Any questions?

Miss Heather

The Fedders Friday That Wasn’t

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dung of the Day, Fedders Friday, Other Shit, Williamsburg 

Earlier this week I quipped that I would be hard pressed to top this lovely specimen Fedders Friday. Well, I was right. This week I have nothing in the way of Feddertecture to offer up for your delectation. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a piece of abjectecture to share. I do. Boy do I ever!

It’s been a while since I checked in on this beauty at 152 Broadway. Intrigued to see the process of Fedderization complete, I swung by yesterday to have a looksee. What awaited me was quite breathtaking…

and not in a good way. For those of you who are wondering: yes, this building once matched the one to the left.

Now it has been thoroughly and irrevocably crapified. I don’t know about you, but I really like the balcony on the top floor. It’s sort of like a parting “Fuck You” in the face of good taste.

Seriously. This has got to be one of the ugliest modifications of an existing building I have ever seen— and I have seen quite a few. Whoever is responsible for this vomitorium should have their architecture degree torn into little pieces. Instead I will have to be satisfied with giving 152 Broadway this week’s second New York Shitty Award of Excellence In Abjectecture.

Mazel tov!

Miss Heather

TONIGHT: The Beatles!

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Tonight (provided it does not rain*) Yellow Submarine will be screened at the American Playground! I have been told before the main feature footage from the Beatles’s first American concert will be served up for our viewing enjoyment. This sounds like a great way to spend this Friday night, so pack up your lawn chairs!

American Playground
Franklin Street between Milton and Noble
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Be sure to get there by 8:30 p.m.

Miss Heather

*In which case, it will be shown tomorrow.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Hug

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Division Place.

Miss Heather

Photoshop Fun For Friday

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Ever since I learned about Paul McCarthy’s roaming turd I have been thinking. Why do I avoid McCarren Park? Is it because Karl Fischer has surrounded it with his abjectecture? Possibly. Is it because I see more and more contendees for the Hipster Olympics there? Probably. Or is the lack of public art?!?

These pups are awfully cute, but hardly satisfying.

The same goes for this bunny. Cute, but insufficient.

What I want to see is an artwork as big as Karl Fischer’s balls (or FAR). Something that reflects the character of the “New Williamsburg”. Simply put, something people from all four corners of the earth will come to gaze upon and say:

Yes, I have been to Williamsburg.

In other words, something like this.

Meet the McCarren Park butt plug.

Hugs,

Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s Nature Walk Gets Added Value!

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

To Our Newtown Creek Elected Officials (Eric Gioia, David Yassky, Nydia Velazquez & Joe Lentol — Ed. Note),

I am attaching a few photos of the oil Mike & I saw today at the DEP Nature Walk. Last week we came across some dead crabs there including ( blue crab, white crab, horseshoe crab … ) We have photos of the dead critters. Today the amount of oil ( various types ) was horrifying. We saw loads of brown oil, frothy whitish, rainbow slicks …I have a video clip that shows the oil all along the Nature Walk steps. The oil extends toward the Kills and into Whale Creek as well. We noticed that there is pile driving going on near the Motiva site by the Pulaski Bridge as well. We included a photo of the rig. We have no idea how far down the Creek the slick extends.

Mike & I made a complaint to the DEC Hot line: 1 (800) 457-7362.

I’m happy to see that the barge that was dumped by the Kill has finally been removed. Thank you for that.

Laura & Mike Hofmann

Black gold.

Texas tea.

Yummy.

Y’all come back now, you hear!

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Mike & Laura Hofmann

Subway Poster du Jour: More Fun With Janice

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Mister Heather

Leonard Is Lost!

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

Bob writes:

Our cat somehow escaped from my apartment in Greenpoint yesterday morning and we’re desperate to find him.  Would you be able to post something on your blog?  His name is Leonard and he disappeared from our apartment on the south side of Milton Street, near Franklin.  We asked around and a couple people have told us that they saw him in the backyards between Milton and Noble, though one woman told us that she saw him on Noble Street, headed towards Manhattan (all sightings were last night, Weds 8/13).  He is an extremely large (though not fat or fluffy — he’s more big-boned and muscular) all-black cat with pretty green eyes.

This could describe a lot of cats, but Leonard’s distinguishing characteristic is his size — people have said that he looks like a black panther.  He’s very friendly, though, and he’s probably very scared right now, as he’s never really been outdoors before.  I’ve attached a picture, and anyone who sees him can contact me at rghammond (at) gmail (dot) com.  We’re offering a reward for anyone who finds him.

If you have seen Leonard please contact Bob immediately. Thanks!

Miss Heather

UPDATE August 15, 2008: Leonard has been found!