Promising New Brooklyn Blog Of The Year…

November 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Park Slope 

and perhaps this decade.

Yesterday I was busy doing what many of you, dear readers, have probably been engaged in: preparing for Thanksgiving. Thankfully I had some time to moderate comments this evening and after doing so I noticed a most curious incoming link:

Naturally I was all over this like a bedbug on a Greenpoint mattress. It’s not that I want to hate Park Slope or anything —although to be fair I kind of do. It’s just that the place is so damned weird. To my little Greenpoint eye it’s sort of like Levittown and The Stepford Wives got together and built an enclave in Brooklyn. With double-wide strollers and wifi.

Let’s consider the latter most advertisement for a moment, shall we? I seriously doubt anyone in Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Bushwick or Bedford-Stuyvesant would have to troll the webs in search of cockroaches. Just last week I watched one of our cats eviscerate one such creature in our kitchen. He was considerate enough to eat it afterwards. I don’t think it measured 1 1/2 inches though. What is Lee getting at here? Is waiting for the G train too much of a bother? Are Greenpoint cockroaches not good enough for him?!?

Size queen.

This is the latest entry. For those of you who are wondering follows are a few of the Facebook groups which F.I.P.S. has unearthed which hail from the Slope that is Park:

*New Park Slope Ladies Funtime Goodtimes Group (8 members)
*You Know You’re From Park Slope When… (426 members)
*Park Slope Ultimate Frisbee League (PSUFL) (54 members)
*The Inevitable Damnation of Park Slope (25 members)
*Ive (sic) Burned in Park Slope dis Summer (17 members)
*I Am Suspended from The Park Slope Food Coop (7 members)
*Get the NY Times To Shut Up About Park Slope Already (4 members)
*Dem Slope Boyz (a Park Slope Frat!!!) (request to join)

Yup. If the first three days Fucked In Park Slope has been in publication are any indication, I will be an avid reader for a very, very long time. Now if you don’t mind some cockroaches and I have a date with a can of RAID.

Miss Heather

Today’s Moment Of Zen

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

I found this gem over at Reflections From The End Of The Night. Other than that I honestly do not know what to say.

Miss Heather

Seeing Is Believing!

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

After basking in the knowledge that Xtra Discount was coming back to Greenpoint I decided to go down to 856 Manhattan Avenue today and document this most auspicious development.

As I took the above photograph a woman passerby asked:

Why are you taking a photograph of this?

I gave the matter some thought (this IS a very good question after all) and replied:

Xtra Discount lost their lease at the space across the street (pointing at WaMU) and it was feared they were gone forever. This establishment was a great place to buy socks. I am very happy that I won’t have to schlep twenty minutes just to buy a pair of fucking socks. So I decided to take a photograph of the new storefront so I could post it online and share the good news with everyone.

Believe it or not, I think she understood.

Miss Heather

Anything f’ Thanksgiv’n?

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I imagine a number of you are preparing for Thanksgiving. Before I commence with the task of hunting and gathering all the proper vegetables for the feast I’ll be preparing (chile rellenos with rice, beans, salsa, soup and sangria!) I thought I would take the time to share a little bit ‘o’ of old New Yorkiana with you: Ragamuffin Day.

What is Ragamuffin Day, you ask? That is an excellent question. Imagine if you will a dash of Halloween on Thanksgiving Day. Children throughout our fair city would dress up in tatty clothes, blacken their faces and go door to door asking:

Anything f’ Thanksgiv’n?

If the man or woman of the house felt charitable he or she would throw them candy, fruit or change for their efforts. And just like the “trick or treating” we know today there was ample latitude on both sides— beggars and beggees alike —for mischief. Do you know what a “red penny” is? You will after reading this article from the November 27, 1931 edition of the New York Times. Enjoy!

Those of you who want to learn more about Ragamuffin Day from a distinctly Greenpointian point of view should point and click your way over to There you will find a number of amusing firsthand accounts of this long gone tradition.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: SuzyO of Py-O-My (who I will ordering my apple pie from!)

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Art Lover’s Special

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Greenpoint Magic 

Ever had one of those moments when you realized something so fucking obvious you could kick yourself? Well, I had one of those epiphanies recently. It was as follows:

Greenpointers like chainsaw sculptures. A LOT.

Follows are a few of my favorite specimens. Enjoy!

Kingsland Avenue

India Street

The flower is a nice touch.

Eckford Street

Pope preaching to an assortment of woodland creatures and a Fedders box: priceless.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Grand Street

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Abjectecture, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Williamsburg 

I knew something was up when the Mister and I were walking down Grand Street (to dine at Santorini).

I spied this work of art gracing a construction fence, so I took a photograph of it. As we progressed further down the block I noticed more. Being hungry— VERY HUNGRY— I paid them no mind. Thankfully I bumped into Bitchcakes afterward and she told me the good news about this.

Speaking as someone who has taught art (and have seen one too many “projects” utilizing doll parts in my day) I found this utterly hilarious.

The fact it graces the construction fence of this derelict property where a fifteen story behemoth designed by North Brooklyn’s gift that keeps on giving— none other than Karl Fischer— was slated to be erected makes it all the more amusing. The downzone (and fetid economy) pretty much kiboshed that from happening. Now we have this instead.

Shit happens.

Miss Heather

Miscellaneous Foodstuffs

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I spied this menu in the window of a laundromat yesterday. Thinking this was a new restaurant in/near the ‘hood I grabbed a menu. It isn’t. Here’s the scoop.

ANYTIME is a website: This site (which appears to be in development) not only offers to deliver food, but smokes and beer as well. Their hours are 4:00 p.m. – 5:00 a.m. daily and their delivery zone (as culled from their web site) is as follows:

It should also be noted that they accept credit cards (VISA, AmEx, Mastercard and Discover): $15.00 minimum for delivery.

If and/or when any of you, dear readers, give this business a whirl let me know. I’m quite curious to say the least! And oh yeah, you get a free soft drink with your first “web purchase”.

ANYTIME: Late night food, booze & smokes

Next up, (and a note of somewhat well-substantiated intelligence), the mastermind(s) behind the Endless Summer taco truck which graces the intersection of North 7th Street and Bedford Avenue is going to expand to some more permanent digs…


Tacos & More is the name.
668 Manhattan Avenue is the address.
And (718) 346-2626 will be their phone number.

It is slated to open “next year”. Given that that our current one is almost over I imagine the wait will not be too long.

Last up, my buddy Larry da Junkman loves all things cheap. Especially coffee. I love wine (a hearty glass of claret on a cold day is noting short of sheer bliss). So you can imagine my delight when I checked out the new Porto Rico coffee shop he tipped me off to only find a new(ish) wine shop to boot!

Porto Rico, regrettably, was closed. But I did take a looksee at blue angel.

All in all, it was pretty neat. They had an interesting selection, much of their stock was quite affordable (READ: At/under $15.00 a bottle) and a very handsome chap named “Dude” mans the premises.

Had there not been a screaming child * on the premises I would have stuck around and made a purchase. Methinks I might take them up on delivery instead: blue angel delivers “throughout Williamsburg, Bushwick and Greenpoint” daily from noon to 9:00 p.m. One bottle up to TWO CASES. You know, for those extra special occasions.

Porto Rico Coffee & Tea
636 Grand Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

blue angel wines
638 Grand Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211
(718) 388-2210

To close on a somewhat related note, X-tra Discount is back! Their new store will be located just across the street from their old digs (which is now WaMu). Seekers of affordable housewares in Greenpoint rejoice.


Miss Heather

UPDATE, 4:18 p.m.: I just received a very nice email from one of the peeps behind ANYTIME. Jessica writes:

Hello Miss Heather.  I hope you are having a lovely Monday.  It’s nice that it warmed up a little today.  I LOVE what you do and I’m a very avid reader of your posts, thus I was overcome with excitement to see that today you wrote about my restaurant, Anytime, and so I figured I should tell you a little bit more about us.

The original owners opened shop in ‘99 and were on North 6th Street until my partners and I built a sparkling new kitchen on Skillman Ave in August.  We are working on making a spectacular eat-in restaurant and are delivering to all of Greenpoint and Williamsburg until 5 am every night, though we are closed f’ Thanksgiv’n and Christmas.  The sad news..L.. is that we are still awaiting our new liquor license for the new space, so there won’t be any beer deliveries until early next year. The good news however, is that we just started an amazing new menu last week (which you saw) and which I am very excited about.  Our chef, Berty Richter (previously of Lamb & Jaffy) makes delicious hummus daily from scratch and we have added some real gems to the menu.  My favorites are the Soy Honey Ginger Wings, Cuban Toasted Sandwich and Pumpkin Cheesecake!

I really do hope that you and Mister Heather will give us a try, and let me know how you like it.

Thanks for posting about us and have a great Thanksgiving!

As “Chip” would say to “Dale”:

No, Thank YOU! 😉

*It should be noted that said child belonged to a client, not the proprietors.

Photo Credit: Endless Summer Tacomobile;

Anyone Lose A Briefcase?

November 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Everyone’s fantasy is to find a briefcase full of money. No strings attached.

When I encountered the above item (at the intersection of Dobbin Street and Norman Avenue) I knew it would not contain money. I know my luck. What’s more, I live in Greenpoint. Nonetheless my curiosity was killing me. I stared at the briefcase wondering what was inside. My post 9/11 self cried:

There might be a bomb in there!

Thankfully my rational side prevailed and I reminded myself:

  1. This briefcase is located in Greenpoint.
  2. Greenpoint is a neighborhood no one (save developers; the various and sundry parasites who shill their interests and the people who actually live here) gives two shits about.
  3. Ergo, it is no one’s interest to blow anything up at the intersection of Norman Avenue and Dobbin Street.

So I said to myself:

Fuck it.

and kicked the damned thing open. Here’s what I found.

If anyone lost a briefcase full of clay this weekend you can find it at the northeastern corner of Norman Avenue and Dobbin Street. Its contents appear to be more or less intact, but who am I to know? I suppose only the owner of this case would know for certain.

Miss Heather

THIS WEEK: Williamsburg-Greenpoint Thanksgiving Interfaith Service

November 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

In addition to the numerous volunteer opportunities at the Greenpoint Reformed Church* those of you who want to put the “thanks” back into Thanksgiving might be interested in attending the Thanksgiving Interfaith Service at Congregation Ahavas Israel right here in Greenpoint! This year’s service (a yearly joint collaboration of Congregation Ahavas Israel, the Greenpoint Reformed Church, the Greenpoint Islamic Center, the Church of the Ascension, St. Anthony’s, St. Stanislaw’s and the St. John’s Lutheran Church) will feature a sermon by Rabbi Avi Weiss, Dean of the Open Orthodox Yeshiva Chovoveih Torah*. Refreshments will follow.

Thanksgiving Interfaith Service
Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 7:30 p.m.
Congregation Ahavas Israel
108 Noble Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

In closing I feel compelled to pass along another albeit highly secular reason to attend this event: I have it on good word the interior of this otherwise ordinary looking synagogue is absolutely breathtaking. Check it out!

Miss Heather

*Whose Christmas wishlist you can see here.

**Who apparently is ranked one of “America’s Top 50 Rabbis” by Newsweek

A Queens Cat

November 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Queens 

Those of you who had the pleasure of going out yesterday probably noticed that it was cold as fuck. Mr. Heather was smart enough to stay indoors. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky: I had to work. The previous having been said New York Shitty’s bipeds were not the only ones wise enough to know that a roof over one’s head was much preferable than toughing it out on the mean streets yesterday.

c wrote:

Last night …I came home from dinner and …as I opened the door in marched a cat. She’s parked in front of an upstairs radiator right now after having spent the night.  Let me know if you’re interested in taking this one off my hands.  She’s a pretty quiet one.  At least I think it’s a “she”.  Kind of small – probably only a few months old.

This Queens cat is no dummy. (S)he knows that being in a nice warm home is much better than toughing it out sub-freezing weather. Anyone interested making the acquaintance of this street savvy chat should contact c at:

cardiaccath1103 (at) aol (dot) com


Miss Heather