One thing I have observed thus far in my boobification project is when people (especially men) see me walking purposely down the street with a pair rubber tits they leave you alone. Sure they will watch me attach these appendages to one piece of public property or another and take a photograph of it. But nary soul has bothered to ask me what I am doing. Or why. Until yesterday on Kent Avenue, that is.
20-Something Man With Camera:
Why are you molesting that hydrant?
Miss Heather: I’m a pervert. I can’t help myself. I’m taking the girls to East Williamsburg next.
He thought this was incredibly funny. I suppose it is— but the way I see it there are two kinds of people in this world:
- The ones who ask why you are molesting a fire hydrant.
- The ones who ask why you aren’t molesting a fire hydrant.
Given all the shit I have seen in New York Shitty I suspect the latter group is much larger than many of you think!
P.S.: You can see more Brooklyn boobification pix by clicking here!
It wasn’t until we looked at this photograph (taken by Mr. Heather) later that we realized he had caught a plane piercing the one of the ghost towers. Weird.
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Wythe Avenue.
While more subtle than the payphones I usually feature here on New York Shitty, I really like this specimen. It’s like the receiver crawled into the change slot to hide. Given the phone in question is located directly in front Off Track Betting on Manhattan Avenue I can’t exactly say I blame it. After being handled one too many times by the sexy beasts which constitute OTB’s clientele base it finally had enough.
I have no doubt this will get the bicyclistas panties in a collective wad but I’m gonna post it anyway…
Earlier this week the Mister and I went to Long Island City to get some dinner. To this end we walked across the Pulaski Bridge. Actually we we didn’t just walk, we multi-tasked: about every twenty feet or so we had to dodge some jerk on a bicycle. There are signs posted asking these brave foot soldiers in the battle for a greener New York City to dismount. I have seen them, apparently they haven’t. Of course I imagine it is kind of hard to read when you are tearing down the sidewalk like a bat out of hell.
I want to like bicyclists, really I do. But until some of the less considerate among their ranks decide the law applies to them, I’m keeping my distance…
and I suspect we’ll be seeing more signs like this.
Filed under: Area 51
It’s a long story but I came across this banner ad while searching for a photograph of Luca Brasi and simply HAD to pass it along. It comes from a web site for a radio station in Wisconsin. At long last I understand why I have not fulfilled my potential: I do not have a career in the fast food industry. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when the “think tank” (which undoubtedly was paid a very nice sum of money) came up with this doozy.
From Nassau Avenue.
Filed under: Williamsburg
On September 9, 2008 at 10:23 p.m. Clay wrote:
Hi, Heather. Get down to 68 Maspeth (at Kingsland, near Cooper Park) as soon as you can. There is some fantastic guerrilla condo-commentary there.
It won’t last long. I hope you get to see it.
I have been to 68 Maspeth Avenue, dear readers. Words cannot describe what awaited my viewing pleasure. Thankfully I took pictures.
What else can I possibly say? I am fucking speechless… in a good way!
3rd Ward Fall Solo Show: An Open Call to Find One Extraordinary Artist.
This nation-wide open call for ambitious, distinct and provocative work is open to artists working in all mediums – sculpture, photography, painting, printmaking, motion graphics, illustration, installation, industrial design, graphic design, film, video and more. For this call we are joined by sponsoring organization, Gawker Artists and this year’s Judging Panel includes Clay Rockefeller, co-founder of The Steel Yard and Anita Durst, founder of Chashama.
The Selected Artist will receive:
* $1,000 cash grant
* 1-month residency at 3rd Ward with FULL facility access
* An exhibition and huge opening reception at 3rd Ward
* City-wide exposure
Submissions are being accepted through September 26, 2008.
Artists can submit their best work at: http://www.3rdward.com/fallsoloshow
I’m going to submit my provocative work— or would it be an indecent proposal? I wish to (further) boobify Brooklyn, take photographs of the results and have a one person show whose proceeds are given to the Susan G. Komen Foundation To Cure Breast Cancer.
From the Automotive High School at 50 Bedford Avenue.
From Berry Street.