Filed under: Area 51
Looks like Dan Quayle has hit the hood (and the potatoe chips)!
I have written much about this institution. When I first moved to Greenpoint I had the dubious honor of living around the corner from this den of iniquity. I quickly became acclimatized to having crack heads, derelicts, ex-cons and register sex offenders as neighbors. Police raids became routine, e.g.; buy groceries, run laundry, watch 20+ policemen (and women) raid the Greenpoint Hotel.
I have since moved on, but nothing— and I mean NOTHING— prepared me for the email I received last night.
Laura: Hi Heather! I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The Greenpoint Hotel has a website that boasts of its “luxury suites”.
Miss H: Seriously, this isn’t a joke?
Laura: My personal favorite is that they refer to it as a “bed & breakfast”. I guess it’s the place to be!
Miss H: Mary, Jesus and Joseph— and I am not even CATHOLIC!!!
Laura: I so thought this was up your alley! Enjoy!
This institution got hit with a Stop Work Order after one patron partaking of said “comfortable accommodations” set his mattress on fire and was found frolicking in his own feces last February.
Before being hauled off to Bellevue, he assaulted a police officer! Keith Moon, eat you heart out! Hilarious hoax or wishful thinking? Check out their web site and* decide for yourself!
Filed under: Bushwick
Clearly this neighborhood is poised to become the next great outer borough Valhalla any day now. If any of you ladies or gentleman want a good ass kicking (but don’t want to pay those outrageous Manhattan prices) head to this house on Bushwick Avenue. The concierge will be more than happy to oblige you.
I was recently embroiled in a controversy at the local Taco Bell. The source of this conflict was a 40-something suit who wanted to use his credit card to purchase $7.00 worth of food. Since the minimum was $10 (and he was unwilling to go to an ATM) this chap began entreating his fellow patrons to let him buy their lunch with his credit card and pay him back in cash. No one seemed interested in taking him up on this arrangement save me— for three very selfish reasons:
- I wanted some nachos*. BAD.
- I was very hungry and wanted to eat sometime this century.
- I wanted him to SHUT UP.
Therefore, I gladly gave him some bucks and we ordered food. In his gratitude (or perhaps thinking me to be his new friend) he started talking me up.
Man: Do you like that color?
Man (pointing to my lilac colored hair): Your hair and clothes, they match.
Given that I was faced with one of the more idiotic questions I had been posed with in quite awhile (if I didn’t like lilac so much, why the hell would I be clad top to bottom— literally— in it?), I handled it pretty well:
Yes, I like lilac, pink, purple, you name it. I am not afraid of color.
I mention this anecdote because I was tickled pink to discover later this very same day that someone in Bed Stuy also has an affection for this hue.
Or they had a serious surplus of pink paint and a lot of free time on their hands. Take your pick.
Not even the seating was left untouched.
I call this photograph Ode To A Cerisian Urn.
Or should I make that urns?
Yes sir, someone on Quincy Street sure loves them some pink!
*Yours truly has a weakness for cheese that comes out of a tube.
Follows are a few art-related event coming up in north Brooklyn!
First up, Artwalking is slated to open in Williamsburg this upcoming Sunday, April 27 at 2:00 p.m. Matt Silver (of BCFools.com) relays the deets:
ARTWALKING: Bedford Ave. An invitational exhibition featuring over thirty storefront installations between North 3rd and North 9th on Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY. A marriage of ART + COMMERCE creating a bridge to a Williamsburg neighborhood in transition from a new generation of store owners to an artist community over twenty five years old. Over thirty Brooklyn-based artists have created storefront installations often in collaboration with respective store owners. There will also be an array of amazing street performers. The curators are Larry Walczak and Donna Kessinger.
For more details about this and other upcoming events check out Eyewash Art Gallery’s web site.
Next up, Bust Magazine will be conducting its “Spring Fling Craftacular” right here in Greenpoint! Here is their press release:
You are cordially invited to BUST Magazine’s first ever Spring Fling Craftacular in Brooklyn!
Sponsored by The Frisky, the BUST Spring Fling Craftacular will feature over 50 of the most unique and talented crafters from across the country offering the very best in handmade wares. But BUSTÂ¹s Spring Fling Craftacular is not just another craft fair, it is also an all-day party with an entire room set aside for dancing and mingling. BUST Craftacular DJs will put the spring in your step, spinning all your favorite jams from the ÂŒ90s all day and into the night for a prom-themed dance.
While shopping, be sure to grab your date and strike a pose at the famous BUST Craftacular photo studio, sponsored by Metromix.com, and also spruce up your gear at JanomeÂ¹s make-your-own corsage booth. Plus, The Frisky’s star astrosexologist, Kiki T will be on hand to take questions and dish cosmic dirt on your love life. Every attendee at the Spring Fling Craftacular is entered into the BUST Spring Fling Craftacular raffle that includes over $2000 worth of prizes, including a Magnolia 7330 sewing machine from Janome! In addition, the first 250 shoppers will also score a BUST Craftacular goodie bag packed with swag and prizes!
DATE: Sunday, April 27 from 11 am to 9 pm
LOCATION: The Warsaw in Williamsburg Greenpoint, Brooklyn
261 Driggs Avenue, L Train to Bedford Avenue stop G train Nassau Avenue stop
The fine ladies at Bust might be a little fuzzy with their geography, but I have no doubt they have cooked up one very fun event. Check it out!
Last up, Cafe Grumpy will be hosting its latest Arts & Crafts Affair next Sunday, May 4th, from 12:00 to 6:00 p.m.
193 Meserole Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
For more information about this event shoot the fine folks at Cafe Grumpy an email at:
theheartsandcraftsaffair (at) hotmail (dot) com
And that is all she wrote!
Being a resident of north Brooklyn, I see a lot of ugly buildings. In terms of new construction most fall into one of two categories:
Once in a blue moon I will happen upon a building that is neither new nor seriously modified. A structure which has been cosmetically augmented in such a manner that all I can do stand before it awestruck mumbling to myself:
What the fuck?
Yesterday on Franklin Avenue I encountered one such an edifice. Words fail to describe what I saw so pictures will have to suffice.
Behold this building at the corner of Madison Street and Franklin Avenue.
Yes that is marble, stucco and blue paneling you are looking at.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Now it would appear the Sunview Luncheonette may very well be the subject of a documentary! Love Bea?
One thing I adore about Bedford Stuyvesant is its residents’ affection for customizing their property. This can be as simple as painting flowers on one’s front door or as complex as building a dragster that looks like a coffin. Whatever tickles their fancy, they make it happen. This, dear readers, is what makes this neighborhood such a treasure. Speaking of treasure check out this, the BADDEST CAB to grace the streets of New York Shitty.
I found this old Checker cab on Bedford Avenue. While being a Checker Cab in and of itself is pretty damned neat, this motor vehicle has a number of appointments which make it extra special.
Its grill is sports a wreath.
The front window is festooned with fringe like Cheech and Chong’s ride in Up In Smoke.
One of those light-up waterfall pictures has been placed in the backseat for the passenger’s entertainment.
And last, but hardly least, when the owner of this vehicle is too indisposed to drive, he (or she) has no problem getting home on all fours!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
When people hear “Bedford Avenue” more often than not they think of Williamsburg. This is a shame as this thoroughfare (Brooklyn’s longest at 10.2 miles) cuts through a number of other very interesting neighborhoods. More importantly (to us Greenpointers anyway) is the fact it starts right here in the Garden Spot. Which brings me to today’s installment of Greenpoint goodness from back in the day.
Although it has gotten a major face lift One Bedford Avenue is still more or less recognizable. I would have loved to have seen the interior of “Dreams” night club. It looks like it was one swinging place!
Filed under: Area 51
I have a confession to make: I detest Mrs. Clinton. With a passion. That said, I care not to use my blog as a soap box for pillorying Hillary.
What more, with supporters like this why should I?
I just about shot my dinner (a grilled cheese sandwich) through my nose when I saw this woman extol upon the benefits of Hillary Rodham Clinton on national television with a sticker affixed— UPSIDE DOWN— to her forehead. Did someone in the Obama campaign pay this woman to do this or is using senior citizens as walking billboards some hitherto unknown component of Hillary’s new campaign strategy?