Williamsburg Photo du Jour: P-Doody

September 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Williamsburg 

This image hails from North 12th Street and goes out to my pal P-Diddy. My advice to you Mr. Combs: watch where you walk.

Miss Heather

TONIGHT At Alphabeta

September 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

I was disheartened to learn this weekend that Greenpoint’s cutest Pit Bull (yes, they do exist— bad owners make bad dogs, they are not born that wayhear me, Mr. Vallone?), Bianca was badly injured. This evening Alphabeta will be hosting a benefit for her. The event kicks off at 6:00 p.m. Why not swing by and lend your support to this lovely lass?

Benefit for Bianca
September 21, 2008
6:00 p.m. – ???
70 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

P.S.: In other news thanks to the hard work of the Friends of McGolrick Park and District Dog the new small dog run at McGolrick Park is OPEN. Pack up your petite pooch and check it out today!

A Very Special Pay Phone du Jour

September 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens 

This pay phone hails from Liberty Avenue in Ozone Park and comes courtesy of Kevin Walsh of Forgotten New York. I’m not too sure which saint this is (I call him St. Detritus of Queens County) but he should head down to Court Square. There he will find a pay phone in dire need of divine intervention.

Miss Heather

This Shirt ROCKS!

September 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Last night I saw a guy wearing this shirt on Franklin Street. I simply had to ask him about it. He said it was a gift but thought it was purchased on Manhattan Avenue somewhere near Nassau. Any Greenpointers out there know where? I simply MUST possess this item (for obvious reasons).

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Bike Love

September 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From North 15th Street.

On that note today’s offerings will in all likelihood be sporadic and lite. This is due to (more) pet-related joy on the home front. Last week it was abscessed anal glands, this week it is ringworm. Sulfur dips here we come!

Miss Heather

Studio B Rides Again!

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Last weekend they had an event replete with busloads of clueless people being dumped on Banker Street and asking for directions.

Greenpointer #1:

We went through the same exercise last night. (name excised) finally went out and walked over, because of the one school bus whose alarm kept going off was killing his head.

it was a private afterparty to accompany some concert/event down in coney island. when we got home at 11:30 there were about 200 ppl waiting outside, the club wasn’t open. eventually when the half-dozen school buses showed up with their passengers, the place opened.

they were NOT stupid enough to open the second floor.

there was a driveby of two patrol cars when (excised) was over sniffing around – that was about the time that the security out front yelled at the bus drivers that they could not doublepark and block the road – and they left. also for what it’s worth, i was up until about 2:30 and heard someone yelling more than once that people could go in or go home but they couldn’t stand outside.

the biggest issue seemed to be that people honestly had no idea where they had been dropped off so they stopped on our corner repeatedly to discuss. (Excised) helped one or two of them along.

i don’t know what the legalities of renting it out for a private party are. i can’t imagine that C of O is different in that situation.

Greenpointer #2:

HOWEVER, this gentleman: http://www.myspace.com/djsammyj85 is performing this weekend (September 19, 2008) at an event at Studio B. The flier is in his MySpace profile. They are offering bottle service and buses from Jersey.

Per Denis Hamill Studio B is planning a real BLOW OUT September 27!

Those of you who want to read the rest of this article can do so by clicking here. Otherwise…

Studio B has no cabaret license. Per the DCA 259 Banker is a retail establishment. What’s more, they (being Studio B) cannot legally hold 2,000 people; the legal occupancy is 461 people. No more, no less. Best to do your research first, Mr. Hamill. Regurgitating press releases without proper research does not constitute journalism— no matter how right the end may be, what Studio B is doing is wrong.

I’m not against helping “Dr. Tom”. I simply think it should be done right: Advertising Studio B as a 2,000 seat venue is fraud (or very bad reporting). I live in Greenpoint. I operate a humble blog about my ‘nabe. You might have heard of it, Mr. Hamill— many journos like to use my site for “leads” without crediting it. New York Post, mostly.

I did my research, clearly you didn’t. You’re the professional journalist. Not me.

Shame on you.

Miss Heather

Boobification Photo du Jour: Solid Like A Rock

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From North 10th Street.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: Gourmet Edition

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From South 1st Street.

Bud and Broccoli a la South 1st Street.

From Wythe Avenue.

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

My Dream Job

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Quite a few years ago, back when the Pencil Factory was “the” new bar in the neighborhood, my buddy Rachael and I took great delight in patronizing said establishment. The service was good as was the atmosphere— but these were not our only reasons for knocking back beer at the there. We had another slightly ulterior motive: watching all the Mobile Wash Unit trucks go by. As these vehicles would pass we would muse over how this had to be the greatest job ever.

Of course our idea of what makes a “dream job” is a little different than most. We were not so much interested in cleaning the streets per se. Rather, we relished the many ways we could abuse the power that comes with operating such a piece of machinery. Hurling bars of soap and blasting some of our neighborhood’s more hygienically disturbed citizens while screaming:

Go ahead and report us! We’re Union!

was easily our favorite scenario. In fact, we were so enamored of the Mobile Wash Unit we considered basing a drinking game around the spotting of their vehicles. Then we realized the depot was only two blocks away and that this game would probably be too short to be any fun.

Besides, we needed to be able to walk home.

I mention the previous because this week I saw a man with the Department of Sanitation’s anti-graffiti unit busy at work on West Street. He was having so much fun I wanted to join in.

Operating a sandblaster while listening to Kiss!?! It simply does not get any better than this. I wonder if this guy dances when no one is around? I can only hope so. Hell, if listening to Kiss* is one of the fringe benefits of working for the Department of Sanitation’s anti-graffiti brigade I’ll work for free!

What’s more if this stretch of sidewalk (three blocks away) is any indication, they could probably use me.

Miss Heather

*Motorhead (I would insist on singing along with Lemmy Kilmeister on “Ace of Spades”), AC/DC, Van Halen (Diamond Dave only), Iron Maiden, Juda Priest, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, etc., etc.

TONIGHT: Gotham Reformers Cruise

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg 

This found its way into my inbox yesterday and I feel compelled to pass it along. I have it on good intelligence that this cruise will indeed feature Greenpoint’s very own shit creek. Those of you who wish to learn more about the Citizens Union (and you should —it looks very interesting) will be directed to their home page by clicking here.

Miss Heather