Meanpoint Photo du Jour: Noble Street

June 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Remember that standee of his girlfriend Olympia placed at the corner of Franklin Street and Noble Street for her birthday? Well, over the weekend it received a few modifications.

This is not witty. This is not funny. This is a heartless act of vandalism perpetrated by a person bereft of any sense of compassion whose self-esteem is derived by denigrating others. I have no doubt Olympia spent a lot of time working on this. It was very much a labor of love. How long did it take some anonymous asshole to destroy it? Probably five minutes. Way to go, jerkoff!

I have a better idea: why doesn’t the person who saw fit to vandalize this work of art go to hell?

Miss Heather

Something I Really Didn’t Need To Know

June 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone who is married will tell you the institution is all about sharing. Sharing a home, sharing a life, sharing the stomach flu, and so forth. This mutually agreed upon bond also entails learning things about one’s partner you may very well prefer not to know. Case in point:

Miss Heather: She is a really beautiful woman. This is really saying something given she is green.
Mr. Heather: Green women can be sexy. Haven’t you ever seen that Star Trek episode?
(Miss Heather swivels around in her office chair, stares at Mr. Heather)
Miss Heather: You should be SO happy Overheard in New York won’t accept submissions from conversations you are involved in.

Yes, my husband is a colossal dork. MY DORK until death do us part. Lucky me.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: Pug & Fug

June 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I cannot honestly say I am a big fan of Tori Spelling (although to be fair she was good in House of Yes). Had it not been for her famous (and now, deceased) father she would not blight our television screens once a week. Everyone knows this— and in all probability she does too. The previous having been said even I have to admit this is a bit harsh.

Ouch.

Miss Heather

Come Out And Play!

June 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

As many of you know yesterday I attended the 2008 Mermaid Parade. Well, as promised here is short film for those of you who were unable to attend so you too can share the mischievous mirth of this, one of Miss Heather’s favorite events. Be advised that this film features some lite nudity and “language”. Enjoy!

Why not also click here and check out the ginormous flickr set I have created for your delectation as well? Breast lovers (and I know you’re out there— don’t think I have not noticed that my photographs featuring topless babes are getting the most hits) will NOT be disappointed!

Miss Heather

REMINDER: Dog Bowl 2008

June 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

This is just a quick reminder that tomorrow, June 23, 2008 is Dog Habitat’s fund raiser and silent auction at The Gutter. I have been told that there are still plenty of slots available for anyone who wants to bowl at 6:00 or 8:00 p.m. but the 7:00 slot is nearly full! For those of you who are not interested in bowling, the bar will be open to the public and a silent auction will be conducted. Among the items for the bidding are “a gift basket from Dean and Deluca, spa services, an iPod nano and a whole bunch of dog-related treats and services.”

Check it out!

Dog Bowl 2008
The Gutter
200 North 14th Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Once again, interested registrants should contact the organizers online via Dog Habitat’s web site and by calling or swinging by District Dog. Individuals are requested to pay $30.00, a team of two will set you back $50.00 (that’s $25,00 a person!). Also be sure to indicate which time slot you want: 6:00 – 7:00, 7:00 – 8:00 or 8:00 – 9:00 p.m.

Miss Heather

Mildly Disturbing Image Of The Day: Intervention

June 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I’m not terribly sure what led up to what you see in the above photograph and I sure as hell didn’t make it my business by asking. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say this is Larry da Junkman’s way of administering some tough love. In any case, this is not the first time I have seen a man bound, gagged and taped to a chair in Greenpoint —and I seriously doubt it will be the last.

Miss Heather

P.S.: No one was hurt or harmed in any way during the taking of this photograph. After being debriefed the above captive was released no worse for wear. In fact, he thanked Larry. The Thing is a junk shop, not Guantanamo Bay. Simple tomfoolery, nothing more. If it wasn’t I would have done something —like call the police.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: The Billyburg Banana

June 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Williamsburg 

This fantastic piece of fruit (which is actually located on Hope Street) is dedicated to the immensely talented proprietress of Bed Stuy Banana. As many of you know she has decided (with the exception of this post) to take a much-needed break from the utter insanity that is blogosphere. You might be a self-professed curmudgeon, Banana but your incisive, piquant and yes, occasionally cranky words and pictures are very much missed by yours truly. I hope to see more of you next month!

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a totally UNRELATED note, I am currently piecing together an utterly fabulous film/slide presenation of my Mermaid Parade experience, so stay tuned!

Parent Of The Year

June 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Inasmuch as I —a woman with a husband and four cats— see fit to malign the lackluster parenting skills of my fellow Brooklynites I also like to laud acts of good parenting when I encounter them. And yesterday at the Mermaid Parade I found one. I have no idea who this chap is but he is a man well ahead of his time. Unlike Joe Simpson, Michael Lohan or Jamie Spears*, this guy knows waiting until one’s daughter is knee-high to a June bug is no way to prepare her for the rigors of adult life.

Lesson #1: Women have boobies.

Lesson #2: Men very much like to look at them.

This turns that age-old stereotype on its ear; instead of old men giving candy to little children, the children have turned the tables and are giving candy to them.

That’s avant garde parenting for you!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For more fun Mermaid Parade pix and video goodness, click here!

*As in Jamie Lynn Spear’s dad and newly re-christened grandfather.

Photo Credits: Mr. & Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Obama, Joseph and Kingsford

June 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Grand Street.

Miss Heather

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

June 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Franklin Street.

From Manhattan Avenue.

And lastly, this fearsome bear hails from Kent Street. The next time Dorothy and her dog Toto decide to go on a concussion-induced journey they should come to Greenpoint. The beasts who roam our urban jungle are quite cute!

Miss Heather