Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Satan Is My Copilot

September 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Bail Out: Williamsburg Style

September 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

This morning I woke up curiously early. I usually avoid doing so like the plague because the Mister has this annoying habit of firing up NPR online in our living room and via conventional radio in the kitchen. Any of you who have done this probably know there is a delay with online audio; this phenomenon turns the confines of the 450 (if that square feet) palace we call home into one big echo chamber of current events.

As I got my first cup of morning coffee I learned about David Foster Wallace committing suicide.

TWICE.

Did you hear that Merrill Lynch is going to be bought by Bank of America? I have: once in the kitchen and again in the living room!

In other news the Feds have refused to bail out Lehman Brothers. I got the why and wherefore before and after going to the bathroom.

I don’t know about any of you but this whole government bail-out of corporate interests really pisses me off. A good friend of mine once described it this way:

It’s sort of like playing poker with your dad. You lose all your money but instead of keeping it he gives it back to you.

This is hardly the way to teach someone fiscal responsibility. What’s more, if I “Jane Q. Citizen” racked up a bunch of bad debt do you think I would get such royal treatment? I think not. The fact of the matter is there is no easy, quick way for a non-corporate entity to extract him (or her)self from the red.

Or is there?

This interesting business proposition was found by Greenpoint’s very own mihow last weekend at McCarren Park. I can’t honestly say I find this solution very palatable (while effective, it is a little too permanent for my taste), but to each their own.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can see the original uncropped photograph by clicking here.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: A Matter Of Perspective

September 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Lorimer Street.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: To Do List

September 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From the entrance to the Queens-bound platform of the G train at Metropolitan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Hanging Out

September 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Bedford Avenue.

Miss Heather

Not Cool

September 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg 

Despite the stifling humidity I took a nice long walk this afternoon. Upon crossing the BQE at 3:00 p.m. I noticed a group of men conferring with some police officers at Father Giorgio Triangle.

Once I crossed the street I learned why.

It would appear that someone has stolen the bronze plaque from this monument. He (or she) sold it for scrap. This is the second instance of metal theft I have heard of in as many months (1000 Manhattan Avenue was broken into and stripped of all its copper pipe recently as well). This is ridiculous.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Down the street I discovered that someone stole the potted plant in front of the Brooklyn Kitchen.

What the hell is wrong with people? If it isn’t yours don’t take it. Why is this concept so difficult for some of our fellow citizens to comprehend?

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Garden Spot Greenery

September 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Calyer Street.

Miss Heather

Subway Photos du Jour: Sex In Midwood

September 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bushwick, Williamsburg 

So you live in north Brooklyn and are a veritable commuting Casanova. What’s more, you are really proud of your conquests. What do you do?

  1. Keep a diary of your sexual prowess.
  2. Call your friends and tell them every salacious detail.
  3. Document your activities on a subway map at the Lorimer Street stop of the L for all to enjoy.

If you picked item #3 CONGRATULATIONS! You are worthy of calling yourself a true Williamsburger!

Hmm, what do we have here? A three-way in Crown Heights. Kinky!

A friend of mine recently told me about growing up in Midwood. He said it was boring. Obviously he didn’t know the right people.

You know when I see shit like this I realize how very, painfully, EXCRUCIATINGLY dull my life really is. Damn.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Banker Street

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

If what I saw while knocking around Greenpoint yesterday was any indication, there was a lot of “armer” being “sprayed”.

Miss Heather

Two Things That Don’t Go Very Well Together

September 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Urban Artifact, Williamsburg 

On September 11, 2008 Mark India commented (in regards to this post):

…And really, this is New York. Are you telling me you’ve ALWAYS obeyed EVERY traffic sign?*

Well as a motorist I have. Here’s why: I have never driven an automobile in this city nor do I ever intend to. As a matter of fact if it has wheels chances are you will not be seeing me operating it anytime soon. Two things I have had to cope with in my life are limitations and anger management. When it comes to operating a vehicle I have learned that the former informs the latter. I am not a terribly patient person— and driving in New York City requires a lion’s share of this gift. One I simply do not possess. Therefore I have found it to be in my (and probably the PUBLIC’S) best interest to leave my mobility to my own two feet, the MTA or (if I’m feeling lucky) a cabbie.

Sure, I still find myself muttering “Who the fuck taught this clown how to drive?”. OFTEN. But I am not manning two tons of steel when I do so. The way I see it I can either:

  1. Reform each and every idiotic operator of a moving vehicle personally or
  2. Remove myself from interfacing with said motorists.

Realizing point #2, dear readers, was A BIG MILESTONE regarding anger management for me. I leave my transportation needs to the professionals. What’s more walking has opened up a whole new world for me. I see things I would never have noticed if I was speeding around in a car. FUN THINGS. Like this.

I found this card on Graham Avenue near Scholes Street. Terrified —yet amused— I picked it up. Here’s what I found on the back.

The next time I find myself asking how some clown learned how to drive I will have the answer: El Payasito! I wonder if he drives a SUV like this?

In all seriousness folks, clowns and auto school advertising do not mix.

Miss Heather

*I’m just busting your chops, Mark. No ill will intended— and I hope none was taken. We’re all hypocrites anyway— I just happen to be one who is tired of dodging bikes and landing on the hood of cars**. Imagine how many more good motorists New York City would have if they simply turned in their keys and rode the bus! :)

**I have only done this once (and for the record I had the right of way). Trust me, one time is enough.