Friday The 13th At Studio B

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

One would think after having the Department of Buildings cite them for not having their Public Assembly paperwork in order (and having this brought to the attention of the Department of Consumer Affairs) that Studio B would cease their illicit behavior.

Nope. 9:45 last night they were gearing up to party on both floors! Do they have legal right to conduct business in this rooftop garden? No. They don’t exactly have right to do so on the first floor either. To Studio B’s credit, they may be scofflaws but at least they’re consistent.

An angry neighbor writes me (at 11:55 p.m.):

311 wouldn’t take my complaint because the same thing had just been called in to the DOB.

That’s one way of making the city look like it is doing it’s job and everything is hunky dory: refuse to document complaints. Speaking as someone who has worked in management (and actually gave a damn), however, this is very ineffective policy customer service-wise. And make no mistake about it— as tax payers (READ: clients), we are to be served by this city’s agencies— not the other way around.

When one client brought something to my attention, I took notice. When 2,3,4+ more people complained to me about the same thing, I addressed it. Immediately. I suppose that is the difference: I actually cared about the clients under my care. This city, apparently, doesn’t.

Miss Heather

Did You Lose Your Chihuahua?

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

If so, he was found at the corner of Berry and North 9th Street yesterday, Friday 13th, at 11:00 a.m. He is safe and sound in a “dog-friendly household nearby”. You can retrieve your (incredibly cute) prodigal pup by calling the phone number on the above flier.

Miss Heather

Free Movies At The American Playground

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Bitchcakes totally beat me to the scoop on this one and I congratulate her. If I have to be out-dished by someone, I am delighted it be by someone as beautiful, witty and charming as she is. I have met Miss Cakes (she’s even more fabulous in person) and am proud to have her as a neighbor.

That said, as are most seemingly good things in this neighborhood, this entertainment has an interesting benefactor. Watch the film I shot of this evening’s festivities and you’ll get the idea.

Thanks in part to you, Mr. Guttman, Greenpoint is smokin’ with excitement!


Miss Heather

P.S.: Sincere props go out to Photoplay, the Parks Department and all the other peeps behind these movie nights. Seriously. It is a GREAT idea: not only is it a free evening’s entertainment, but it gives us Greenpointers an opportunity to hang out, have fun and get to know each other.

How Not To Have First Date In Greenpoint

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

1. You take your date out to dinner.

2. Over dinner you ask her how old she is.*

3. She refuses to tell you.

4. After dinner you take your date to the waterfront on Java Street. The view of the Manhattan skyline to be had there has inspired many a Greenpoint romance. That is, unless…

5. the police show up, tell you that you’re trespassing and demand identification.

6. You tender identification: a driver’s license from Alabama. Cop is non-plussed and interrogates you as to where you live.

7. Your date has no identification whatsoever, so she is given a thorough dressing down (e.g.; I could arrest you…) and is forced to state how old she is: 34.

8. You laugh.

9. Cop gets angry and asks “What are you laughing at?” You reply “Over dinner she refused to tell me how old she was.” Cop is not amused.

10. You are let go, but your evening is shot to shit.

This happened to a friend of mine Tuesday night. He’s a real sweetheart and the purpose of this post is not to bust his chops. (Well, maybe a little, but lovingly.) Rather I want to make you, dear readers, aware that the 94th Precinct (for wont of anything better to do) seems to be very keen on harassing people for “trespassing” on the waterfront. So be careful:

  1. Always, ALWAYS have identification on you. Preferably something that verifies you are a New York City resident. As my experience (with, in all probability, the SAME police officer) last December has shown, the N.Y.P.D. loves to grill you about where you live. Is this legal? I don’t know. But by proving that you MIGHT actually have some reason for walking around your own neighborhood gives them one less thing to hassle you about.
  2. If you feel like you have been unfairly treated by a police officer ask for their badge number. They are required by law to give it to you. Period.
  3. Take said badge number and file a complaint with Civilian Complaint Review Board
  4. and/or go to the monthly community meetings hosted by your local precinct. The 94th Precinct community meetings are held at 7:30 p.m. the third Monday of the month at 807 Manhattan Avenue (AKA the Greenpoint Savings Bank). Be sure to use the entrance on Calyer Street.

Bad dates are— for better or worse— a fact of life. Improper police conduct shouldn’t be. Their job as civil servants is to “protect and serve” the public. This includes you.

Miss Heather

*Big, BIG no-no.

Meet Patience and Fortitude

June 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

These two cuties are currently hanging their respective hats at the City Reliquary. While a cool place, they would much prefer to find a new home. Maybe yours?

My tipster, Sarah, writes:

I’m writing to alert you to some Brooklyn kittens in need of a good home! Two twin kitten brothers (I have taken to the term “twittens”) are living right now at the City Reliquary on Metropolitan, and the staff is hoping to find a home for them both where they can live together… would you be at all interested in pimping them out for a good cause? They are living in the museum right now–in the dark, hot, lonely museum! I would add that it takes a good cat to live in a museum and not fuck up anything important – they totally get that.

Anyone interested in getting a little Patience or Fortitude should shoot me an email at: missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com and I will forward it to the appropriate party. Be sure to give me a phone number where you can be reached. NOTE: preference will be given to people who are interested in adopting both kittens. Thanks!

For more pix of these INCREDIBLY adorable kittens click here to see the photo set City Reliquary has put up on their Flickr page. WARNING: these photographs are mind numbingly cute!

Miss Heather

UPDATE 6/16/08: I have word these guys have been adopted. However, my friends Lisa and Eva have some ultra-adorable kittens (of all ages) for adoption. Be sure to check out Hooper. He’s a heart breaker!

Fedders Friday: 158 Freeman Street

June 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Fedders Friday 

Today’s Fedders Friday goes out to Bobby Scarano.

Not only is he one of the most ethically-challenged architects this borough has had the misfortune of becoming acquainted with, but he is also a Fedderista!

Here’s looking at you, kid.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Metropolitan Avenue

June 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Our neighbors to the south seem to be having a real problem keeping their pants on this week.

Miss Heather

Reader Comment of The Week

June 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Lucky Pierre writes (in regards to this and this post):

Howdy Miss Heather — Love your blog, even though I live on the opposite coast. This image, and your recent film about the newly illuminated sewage plant prompted me to write and tell you that there is a petition circulating here in SF to rename our sewage treatment facility after GW Bush. I think it’s rather fitting.

It look like our friends on the left coast have beat us to the punch. But nonetheless this brings up a very good and overlooked point: our sewage treatment plant does not have a name. Thoughts, anyone?

Miss Heather

UPDATE: Karl Rove has been suggested.

A Sign Of The Times

June 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

You know The Garden Spot of the Universe is getting tony when our “heads” are high rises. I wonder if Bobby Scarano is responsible for this?

Miss Heather


June 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

If you see a truck with “National Grid” emblazoned upon it on your block and chaps jackhammering up your sidewalk, BEWARE. The odds are they are going to turn your gas off. This means NO USING YOUR STOVE TO COOK OR HAVING HOT WATER TO BATHE IN folks.

And no, they will not give you warning. How do I know this? I have been without hot water since 7:45 this morning.

Miss “would really like to take a bath” Heather

UPDATE: As of 9:54 a.m. June 13, 2008 my apartment building still does not have hot water.

4:53 p.m. June 13, 2008: WE HAVE HOT WATER. Hallelujah!