Boobification Photo du Jour: Solid Like A Rock

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From North 10th Street.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: Gourmet Edition

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From South 1st Street.

Bud and Broccoli a la South 1st Street.

From Wythe Avenue.

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

My Dream Job

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Quite a few years ago, back when the Pencil Factory was “the” new bar in the neighborhood, my buddy Rachael and I took great delight in patronizing said establishment. The service was good as was the atmosphere— but these were not our only reasons for knocking back beer at the there. We had another slightly ulterior motive: watching all the Mobile Wash Unit trucks go by. As these vehicles would pass we would muse over how this had to be the greatest job ever.

Of course our idea of what makes a “dream job” is a little different than most. We were not so much interested in cleaning the streets per se. Rather, we relished the many ways we could abuse the power that comes with operating such a piece of machinery. Hurling bars of soap and blasting some of our neighborhood’s more hygienically disturbed citizens while screaming:

Go ahead and report us! We’re Union!

was easily our favorite scenario. In fact, we were so enamored of the Mobile Wash Unit we considered basing a drinking game around the spotting of their vehicles. Then we realized the depot was only two blocks away and that this game would probably be too short to be any fun.

Besides, we needed to be able to walk home.

I mention the previous because this week I saw a man with the Department of Sanitation’s anti-graffiti unit busy at work on West Street. He was having so much fun I wanted to join in.

Operating a sandblaster while listening to Kiss!?! It simply does not get any better than this. I wonder if this guy dances when no one is around? I can only hope so. Hell, if listening to Kiss* is one of the fringe benefits of working for the Department of Sanitation’s anti-graffiti brigade I’ll work for free!

What’s more if this stretch of sidewalk (three blocks away) is any indication, they could probably use me.

Miss Heather

*Motorhead (I would insist on singing along with Lemmy Kilmeister on “Ace of Spades”), AC/DC, Van Halen (Diamond Dave only), Iron Maiden, Juda Priest, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, etc., etc.

TONIGHT: Gotham Reformers Cruise

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg 

This found its way into my inbox yesterday and I feel compelled to pass it along. I have it on good intelligence that this cruise will indeed feature Greenpoint’s very own shit creek. Those of you who wish to learn more about the Citizens Union (and you should —it looks very interesting) will be directed to their home page by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Union Avenue

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I have no idea why this gas station has four super-sized toy soldiers gracing its lot nor do I really care. I’m just glad they’re there. This not-so-little unexpected find made my day.

Miss Heather

Subway Photos du Jour: Poster Boy

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

I have long meant to showcase this chap’s handiwork on New York Shitty but somehow never got around to it. When I looked at his latest masterpieces this morning on flickr I knew it was time. Here we go.

He does not indicate where either of the above posters are located, but I suppose that isn’t really important. They’re HILARIOUS. Those of you who want to goof off awhile today should check out Poster Boy’s other stuff on flickr. It’s one of the best time wasters out there!

Miss Heather

THIS WEEKEND: Kittens At The Beehive

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Williamsburg 

This Saturday, September 20 from 2:00 – 6:00 p.m. Empty Cages Collective will be hosting their second adoption event at the Beehive Salon & Downtime Spa. As I have stated in previous posts, Empty Cages is teeming with wonderful kittens in need of new homes. If you are considering getting a new “roommate” of the four-legged persuasion why not swing this event and meet a few guys (and gals) who would like to make your acquaintance!

Empty Cages Collective Adoption Event
September 20, 2008 2:00 – 6:00 p.m.
Beehive Hail Salon & Downtime Spa
115 North 7 Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

I am going to close with a little video footage to get everyone in the adoption spirit.

Who can resist these four adorable clowns? They are called “The Aliens” and will undoubtedly be at this event. Check them out!

Miss Heather

Video Credit: Lisacat

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: WTF?

September 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I’m dressing up as this guy for Halloween.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I’m not kidding.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Bedford Avenue

September 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Every time I think this menagerie cannot possibly get any better, it does. The gorilla on the bicycle really pushes it over the top. BRAVO!

Miss Heather

Acceptance: Rock On, Snow Flake Woman!

September 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

(or, A Humorous Tale of Race and Rhetoric).

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

–Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer

I am not a religious person. Frankly I find the above quote a bit corny, but it is relevant to this post. I am whiter than white. If there was an Encyclopedia Humanicus my ilk would be classified as follows:

Honkious Bohemious: A woman of white Anglo Saxon Protestant (W.A.S.P.) origin who does not adhere to said lifestyle. Instead of having 2.4 children and living in the suburbs she can be found in large cities interfacing with minorities and making art while not wearing a bra. (SEE: gentrifier)

It’s true. I am a W.A.S.P. I live in New York City. Minorities constitute the majority of my neighbors— I love my ‘nabes. And yes, I rarely wear a bra while making art. Don’t want to. Don’t need to. Don’t care.

But tits are the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I have accepted my whiteness. Replete with all the uncoolness that comes with it. I can’t dance for shit. I don’t sing very well (anymore, anyway). I’m the ghost-faced shrew who calls 311 and blogs about shit that pisses her off. I might be an asshole —but I am a self-aware one; I have a sense of humor.

CASE IN POINT: South 3rd Street, Williamsburg, September 14, 2008

Dude on the stoop: Oh here she comes! White girl. Skin like snow!
Miss Heather: Yeah, that’s me.
Dude on the stoop (laughing): No, no not you. You’re okay. You’ve got some tan on you.

If there is a purpose to this post it is this: we’re all the same. Judge a person by who they are, not what they look like.

Laugh at yourself occasionally— better yet— OFTEN. It’s healthy. We all had a laugh at South 3rd Street Sunday.

Who knows, I may very well be darker than you!*

Oy Vey!

Miss Heather

P.S.: This post is dedicated to Blognigger.

*But I doubt it.