Yesterday I had a epiphany. One of those fleeting moments when one stops what he (or she) is doing, takes a few steps back and asks him (or herself):
This is my life?!?
This moment came to pass while I was sorting through my rapidly expanding collection of substandard architecture for this week’s installment of Fedders Friday. I shit you not, this process took one full hour of my time. During which I found myself sizing up the virtues of one pile of prefab shit or another. Exasperated (and coming to the realization that I am in dire need of a vacation) I decided to showcase a couple of beauties from East Williamsburg. Here they are.
This thoroughfare is rapidly becoming a veritable Fedders paradise. Believe it or not, this is one of the more attractive offerings to be found here.
As you can see this building is lavishly appointed with all the luxury trimmings we have grown to expect in north Brooklyn: surveillance cameras, exposed gutters and, lest we forget, Fedders boxes.
It also sports a nice cement front yard from which one can contemplate the finer things in life, such as overflowing garbage cans.
I have been watching this monstrosity cutting edge piece of architecture with a mixture of horror, confusion and fascination for months.
I spent ten whole minutes trying to decipher the seemingly random placement of Fedders boxes on this wing. Then I came to the conclusion there are some mysteries in life one simply will never comprehend. As Donnie Rumsfeld so sagely stated:
There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.
Add to that: There are things we know we don’t want to know.
I wonder which street gang this chap is referring to? Crips or Bloods. Given the copious use of red brick on this building, I’m going to say Bloods.
Whoever they are, I am certain they will make their new neighbors feel right at home.
P.S.: I’d like to give a special Fedders Friday honorable mention to this property on Stockton Street.
Newly constructed homes for sale.
Make that a lot of newly constructed homes for sale.
It’s like a dream come true! Where’s the grass?
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
It simply doesn’t get any more American than this. Where else but in the good ol’ U.S. of A. can dump your house, divorce your wife and grab a sandwich all at one handy location?
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
As many of your are well aware, illegal parking is a serious problem in our fine city. How to discourage miscreants from blocking one’s driveway or refrain from double parking is something our public officials grapple with on a daily basis. Sure tickets are copiously issued, but they are often thrown away by scofflaws. Occasionally law enforcement professionals see fit to tow an errant car, but only after much pomp, paperwork and circumstance.
What New York City lacks is an effective deterrent against this very inconsiderate practice. I would like to humbly suggest that we as citizens and policy makers need toÂ think outside the box and take a more direct “hands on” approach.
Which brings me to this sign on Sandford Street. If what I saw yesterday was any indication, this is a very effective tactic. There was nary a motor vehicle to be found anywhere near this chap’s driveway. You can always leave it to good ol’ Bed Stuy to cut the crap and get right to the heart of the matter.
Inasmuch as I try to keep my crazy cat woman ravings to a minimum on New York Shitty, I cannot resist posting this serendipitous bit feline imagery via vandalism from Walworth Street. I give it two enthusiastic paws up!
Yesterday morning I found following comment awaiting my magical moderating touch in my inbox regarding this post:
Astute observations. I hope you didn’t get your shoes dirty getting into the cab on your way back to Park Slope. I recommend coming back to Bed Stuy at night for a follow-up story. You should probably bring your iPod, camera, laptop, Bianchi Pista, etc just in case you need them.
I have learned that any comments posted after midnight are usually “Twilight Zone” material. The above comment (posted at 1:41 a.m.) was no exception. I got grabbed cup of joe and attempted to decipher it. Here are my conclusions/observations:
- I do not live in Park Slope. I live in Greenpoint. Greenpoint is not Park Slope. I live in Greenpoint because it is NOT Park Slope.
- I do not own an iPod.
- I do not own a laptop.
- I had no fuggin’ idea what a Bianchi Pista is…
When someone sees fit to piss in my morning coffee, I make lemonade. It’s all a matter of perspective. I didn’t get a needlessly angry, ignorant and misguided commenter. Rather, I netted two more items for my gentrification bingo cards!
- Self-righteous indignation (from a bona fide artiste)
- Designer bicycles
P.S.: Thanks for the date offer in Bed-Stuy, Zach but I’ll have to pass. I am married.
The slightly older newcomers to this neighborhood will recognize this storefront. It used to belong to The Vortex* until February of last year. That’s when the landlord decided to double the rent from $2,000 to $4,000 a month. As a result, this property (which is located between Eagle and Dupont Street) stayed on the market for an entire year. It is an enormous (if ill-maintained) space. I would love to know what these people are paying for rent. I doubt it is four grand.
For pet owners in far north Greenpoint I suppose this is good news. I am cautiously optimistic. We already have Pets On The Run, NYC Pets, Petland, District Dog and (for those you willing to cross the bridge to LICLand) City Dog Lounge. I fear pet supply stores are going to become like Thai restaurants or banks here: too much of one thing.
1084 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Nonetheless, I wish them the best of luck and look forward to checking out their wares.
*Which has moved to 222 Montrose Avenue Brooklyn, 11206.
Filed under: Bushwick
I always dread when the Metropolitan Transit Authority sees fit to cut off subway service and presses “free” shuttle buses into service. This arrangement has always bothered me. Maybe it was waiting in a long queue to get vouchers? Or was it being packed into said said buses like so many sardines? Something about the whole set-up struck me as being very, very wrong.
In any case, yesterday my long-harbored suspicions about this shady practice were finally confirmed.
It would appear that in the absence of regular subway service we rapid transit goers are expected to service the bus drivers.* No disrespect to the hardworking folks of the Transit Workers Union (I have met many a VERY COOL bus driver) but this is a little too up close and personal for me. Methinks I’ll walk instead, thank you very much.
*MARK MY WORDS: The TWU’s grievances regarding pensions, wages and retirement during their last strike would have been swiftly and quickly addressed had this demand had been put on the table.
Filed under: Bushwick
From the Canarsie bound platform at the Jefferson Avenue stop of the L.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It would appear that our nocturnal contractors have progressed from earth moving and now have taken to pouring cement at 11:00 p.m. on Monday night. My informant (who has the dubious pleasure of living next to this site) writes:
There was another episode — this time involving concrete pouring — last night (Monday) around 11. I tried to take some camera phone pictures, but they just look like blob montages.
Anyway, I am happy to report that I navigated the slings and arrows of 311 and made a successful noise complaint. However, I was advised that public schools enjoy a different set of permitting criteria, and so the off-hours-ness of the construction may be entirely legit, and blah, blah, blah, call some other people during business hours. Which of course I have as yet failed to do, other income-generating parts of my life having taken a higher priority.
So there have you. Public schools are (ostensibly and) legally allowed to do what many developers hereabouts do anyway: raise an unholy ruckus in the wee hours of the night. I for one am happy to know the city cares so much about our little ones getting a brand-spanking new elevator. I am certain this will make standardized test scores go through the roof. It would be nice, however, if the powers that be would take into account the quality of life for us adults.