The Fedders Friday That Wasn’t

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dung of the Day, Fedders Friday, Other Shit, Williamsburg 

Earlier this week I quipped that I would be hard pressed to top this lovely specimen Fedders Friday. Well, I was right. This week I have nothing in the way of Feddertecture to offer up for your delectation. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a piece of abjectecture to share. I do. Boy do I ever!

It’s been a while since I checked in on this beauty at 152 Broadway. Intrigued to see the process of Fedderization complete, I swung by yesterday to have a looksee. What awaited me was quite breathtaking…

and not in a good way. For those of you who are wondering: yes, this building once matched the one to the left.

Now it has been thoroughly and irrevocably crapified. I don’t know about you, but I really like the balcony on the top floor. It’s sort of like a parting “Fuck You” in the face of good taste.

Seriously. This has got to be one of the ugliest modifications of an existing building I have ever seen— and I have seen quite a few. Whoever is responsible for this vomitorium should have their architecture degree torn into little pieces. Instead I will have to be satisfied with giving 152 Broadway this week’s second New York Shitty Award of Excellence In Abjectecture.

Mazel tov!

Miss Heather

TONIGHT: The Beatles!

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Tonight (provided it does not rain*) Yellow Submarine will be screened at the American Playground! I have been told before the main feature footage from the Beatles’s first American concert will be served up for our viewing enjoyment. This sounds like a great way to spend this Friday night, so pack up your lawn chairs!

American Playground
Franklin Street between Milton and Noble
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Be sure to get there by 8:30 p.m.

Miss Heather

*In which case, it will be shown tomorrow.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Hug

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Division Place.

Miss Heather

Photoshop Fun For Friday

August 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Ever since I learned about Paul McCarthy’s roaming turd I have been thinking. Why do I avoid McCarren Park? Is it because Karl Fischer has surrounded it with his abjectecture? Possibly. Is it because I see more and more contendees for the Hipster Olympics there? Probably. Or is the lack of public art?!?

These pups are awfully cute, but hardly satisfying.

The same goes for this bunny. Cute, but insufficient.

What I want to see is an artwork as big as Karl Fischer’s balls (or FAR). Something that reflects the character of the “New Williamsburg”. Simply put, something people from all four corners of the earth will come to gaze upon and say:

Yes, I have been to Williamsburg.

In other words, something like this.

Meet the McCarren Park butt plug.


Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s Nature Walk Gets Added Value!

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

To Our Newtown Creek Elected Officials (Eric Gioia, David Yassky, Nydia Velazquez & Joe Lentol — Ed. Note),

I am attaching a few photos of the oil Mike & I saw today at the DEP Nature Walk. Last week we came across some dead crabs there including ( blue crab, white crab, horseshoe crab … ) We have photos of the dead critters. Today the amount of oil ( various types ) was horrifying. We saw loads of brown oil, frothy whitish, rainbow slicks …I have a video clip that shows the oil all along the Nature Walk steps. The oil extends toward the Kills and into Whale Creek as well. We noticed that there is pile driving going on near the Motiva site by the Pulaski Bridge as well. We included a photo of the rig. We have no idea how far down the Creek the slick extends.

Mike & I made a complaint to the DEC Hot line: 1 (800) 457-7362.

I’m happy to see that the barge that was dumped by the Kill has finally been removed. Thank you for that.

Laura & Mike Hofmann

Black gold.

Texas tea.


Y’all come back now, you hear!

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Mike & Laura Hofmann

Subway Poster du Jour: More Fun With Janice

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Mister Heather

Leonard Is Lost!

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

Bob writes:

Our cat somehow escaped from my apartment in Greenpoint yesterday morning and we’re desperate to find him.  Would you be able to post something on your blog?  His name is Leonard and he disappeared from our apartment on the south side of Milton Street, near Franklin.  We asked around and a couple people have told us that they saw him in the backyards between Milton and Noble, though one woman told us that she saw him on Noble Street, headed towards Manhattan (all sightings were last night, Weds 8/13).  He is an extremely large (though not fat or fluffy — he’s more big-boned and muscular) all-black cat with pretty green eyes.

This could describe a lot of cats, but Leonard’s distinguishing characteristic is his size — people have said that he looks like a black panther.  He’s very friendly, though, and he’s probably very scared right now, as he’s never really been outdoors before.  I’ve attached a picture, and anyone who sees him can contact me at rghammond (at) gmail (dot) com.  We’re offering a reward for anyone who finds him.

If you have seen Leonard please contact Bob immediately. Thanks!

Miss Heather

UPDATE August 15, 2008: Leonard has been found!

Hillary Clinton Says Superfund Us!

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This comes courtesy of the Newtown Creek Alliance:

Senator Clinton Calls on EPA to Use Superfund Authority to Conduct Contamination Tests Along Newtown Creek

Clinton: Testing Is Necessary to Determine Whether Newtown Creek Should Be Placed on the National Priorities List

Washington, D.C. – Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton today urged the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City. In a letter to EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson, Senator Clinton raised concerns over the proximity and potentially harmful effects of hazardous substances regulated under the Environmental Response, Compensation, and Liability Act (CERCLA) to New Yorkers living in communities along Newtown Creek.

“New Yorkers living in communities near Newtown Creek have suffered long enough,” said Senator Clinton.  “We know that there are dangerous chemicals in the soil, water and air at sites around Newtown Creek.  It’s time to put the resources of the Superfund program to work to conduct additional tests at known contamination hotspots to see whether a federal cleanup should go forward.

Senator Clinton is the Chair of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works Subcommittee on Superfund and Environmental Health. In October, 2007 Senator Clinton held a hearing to examine the federal Superfund program’s capacity to protect public health and to investigate reasons for recent slowdowns in the pace at which sites are added and toxic waste sites are cleaned up under the program.

Here’s a copy of Senator Clinton’s letter to Administrator Johnson:

August 13, 2008

The Honorable Stephen L. Johnson


United States Environmental Protection Agency

Ariel Rios Building – 1101A

1200 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.

Washington, D.C. 20460

Dear Administrator Johnson:

I am writing to request that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City (Attachment A).

Newtown Creek, which borders Brooklyn and Queens, is well known as one of the most polluted industrial waterways in North America, where chemicals from factories along the bed of the Creek have seeped into the soil, sediment and water.  The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation and the New York State Office of the Attorney General have found evidence that certain hazardous substances regulated under CERCLA have been released at the Newtown Creek site (Attachment B).  It is time the federal Superfund program conduct the testing that is necessary to determine whether Newtown Creek should be on placed on the NPL list.  As the Chair of the Superfund and Environmental Health Subcommittee and a member of the Senate’s Environmental and Public Works Committee, it is of particular interest to me.

For years, the residents in the vicinity of Newtown Creek have been forced to live, work and play with toxic fumes in the air and contaminated water, soil and sediment on the ground.  This exposure has led to community concern about potential pockets of serious illness.  Superfund was established to address abandoned hazardous waste sites.  The factories responsible for much of the chemical contamination have long since closed and as the cleanup authority of last resort, I see the federal Superfund program as the most effective way to solve this longstanding problem once and for all.  The people of Newtown Creek have suffered long enough.

I appreciate your prompt attention and response to this matter.


Hillary Rodham Clinton

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton. However, I am very pleased to learn she has thrown her support behind getting Newtown Creek the attention and remediation it so sorely deserves. Thanks Hill!*

Miss Heather

P.S.: Quick reminder, there will be a boat tour of Newtown Creek next month. Click here for more details. Seeing —and more importantly smelling— is believing. Trust me.

*I also LOVE these striped pants. Seriously.

A Cowboy In Greenpoint?!?

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

When one utters the word Greenpoint a great many things come to mind. “Little Poland”, a rather large oil spill, the eastern seaboard’s largest waste treatment plant, foul odors and the G train are all items— which for better or for worse— that are associated with the neighborhood I call home. And now you can add to the list cowboys. Yes, cowboys.

I bumped into Lenwood on Greenpoint Avenue today. Actually, I bumped into him twice. First on the south side of Greenpoint Avenue: I told him I loved his hat (because I did) and went on my merry way. Upon arriving back to the Garden Spot of the Universe three hours later I happened upon him again. This time on the south side of Greenpoint Avenue. My curiosity got the better of me so I struck up a conversation.

Miss Heather: So what’s the deal? Are you trying to take over the block or something?
Lenwood: (laughter) No, I’m just here for some film work. (comes closer, whispers) There are some very exciting things going on here. See that building across the street?
Miss Heather: Yes.
Lenwood: They’re going to be filming a television show over there. Lipstick Jungle. It has Brooke Shields in it, do you know who she is?
Miss Heather: Oh yes, I know who she is. They’ve been filming around here A LOT lately.
Lenwood: You should contact their central casting. Tell them you want to be an extra. You’ll earn $100 a day!
Miss Heather (laughing): Oh, no, no, no! I prefer to be behind the camera not in front of it. In fact, that’s what I have been doing today: taking pictures! You belong in front of the camera, not me. You have much more savoir faire than I do!
Lenwood: If you take pictures, why haven’t you taken one of me?
Miss Heather: I figured you wouldn’t want me to, so I didn’t ask.

Needless to say, Lenwood obliged. What’s more, he recommended that I take a picture of him posing in front of the Polonaise Terrace. I did. It was the best of the lot!

He was laughing when I took this photograph —as was I. I then asked him if he’d like me to send him a copy of the photographs I took. He politely declined stating that he will be “traveling soon”. (He is a cowboy after all!) My consolation prize was his business card.

I cannot honestly say I have seen many black cowboys in my 30-odd years of life in New York Shitty and beyond. Much less in Greenpoint— where people of color are slowly becoming a more and more common sight. But if I ever find myself organizing an event I will certainly give Lenwood a ring, he’s a sweetheart!

Miss Heather

THIS WEEKEND: Free/Cheap Spay & Neutering

August 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

This Saturday, August 16, the ASPCA mobile veterinary clinic will be back at Petland Discounts providing cheap and/or expensive spay and neutering services.

Petland Discounts
846 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

For more details (including how you should prepare your pet for surgery) click here and you’ll be directed to the ASPCA’s web site.

Miss Heather