Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Take Your Pick

July 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From River Street.

Miss Heather

North Brooklyn Rides

July 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Yesterday as I was walking around in the sweltering heat I saw a number of interesting modes of transportation. In fact, I liked them so much I feel compelled to share them here. Enjoy!

This Crosley hails from Kent Avenue.

Everyone has heard of Checker cabs, but did you know they also made regular old cars? They did and this one hails from Noble Street!

Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is a brand spanking new Rolls Royce parked in front of Greenpoint’s very own C-Town on Manhattan Avenue!

And last —but hardly least— this beauty. I have no idea what make or model this is, but I do not think that’s terribly important.

Unless of course you are talking about silicone implants. “J.T.” sure loves him some boobies!

*priceless*

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Same ‘Nabe, Different World

July 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Apollo Street.

Green Street.

Miss Heather

Want Something To Do Tomorrow Night?

July 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

If so, there is the (certainly to be contentious) Public Safety Committee meeting at Community Board 1. You also have Biz Markie playing at Studio B (regardless of whether they secure their cabaret license or not). Neither of these is my cup of tea, you say? Well, why not head down to Greenpoint Avenue and North Henry Street around 10:00 p.m.!

Yes it appears that Greenpoint’s very own Shit Tits might be poised to make an appearance on Rescue Me sometime very, very soon! Too bad they don’t have smell-o-vision.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photos du Jour: Keap Street

July 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

It would appear Greenpoint’s naughty potty has a friend over in Williamsburg.

Miss Heather

Meet Greenpoint’s Finest

July 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This delightful image comes from Bitchy Bluestocking. She writes:

Last summer it was a surprise to discover how popular Greenpoint was on the blogosphere… I’ve become jealous of their “exclusives” — and humor. A few weeks ago I warned Current of the work being done on a house on his block (a blizzard of Styrofoam), and Miss Heather covered it. We walked by the finished product last weekend, joking about its Belvedere XL status, and sure enough Miss Heather soon followed up. Therefore, no longer am I keeping my mouth shut, and I came upon this instance of Greenpoint Magic Sunday…

I for one am very happy you have decided to speak up, Ms. Bluestocking! As your great find attests, there is more than enough Greenpoint Magic to go around! I don’t know about you, dear readers, but I am looking forward to seeing what other goodness this blog whips up for our online enjoyment!

Miss Heather

Looking For Companionship?

July 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

I know the situation all too well. It’s summer and while all your friends are cavorting on the beach with their best gals you are all alone. Well cheer up guys, love always manifests itself in the strangest of places. And, well, if you can’t find Mrs. Right there’s always Miss Right For A Price.

Unfortunately I cannot help you, dear readers, with assistance regarding the previous. But rest assured I can most certainly help you locate the latter. Got your pencils ready? Let’s go!

Step 1. Hop into your minivan and drive down to Broadway between Hewes and Hooper Street.

Step 2. Park your car in the spot indicated by the red arrow at right. Note the presence of health clinic to your immediate right.

Step 3. Roll down your passenger side window and wait.

Step 4. If all goes according to a plan a five foot tall, 160 pound 40-something woman wearing nothing but yellow top (nightshirt?) pressed into service as a mini-dress will be sitting nearby with two grocery bags filled with stuff.

Step 5. Make eye contact with this woman.

Step 6. The woman will walk over to your minivan (whose passenger side window you have thoughtfully left open) and lift up her “dress” to show you her breasts. These are encased in a pink eyelet bra.

Step 7. You say no dice.

Step 8. Wishing to sweeten the deal, your new companion will pull up her “dress” once again to reveal a pair of brown mesh panties. She proceeds to pull these out so you can inspect the goods.

Step 9. You are on your own from here, kiddos! But be advised that a police station is located just around the corner.

Step 10. Be sure steps 1-9 are executed at 1:30 on a Monday afternoon.

Happy hunting!

Miss Heather

P.S.: I am not kidding. I actually saw this come to pass (in the plain view of several other pedestrians) last Monday afternoon. It was like a friggin’ flashback from Full Metal Jacket. If you’re wondering, the man in the van did not take her up on her offer.

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Naughty Potty

July 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Green Street.

Miss Heather

Studio B Is Taking Their Cabaret License Hearing Very Seriously

July 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Never mind the fact they have been operating without a cabaret license for some time.

Or the irregularities pertaining to their second floor.*

While the hired guns/blissfully ignorant speak on their behalf at the Public Safety Committee hearing at 6:30 p.m. July 31st, Studio B will be getting ready to… PARTY HARD!

Biz Markie with a special live dj set hosted by Masta Ace with Large Pro and Marco Polo. Exclusive perfomances by other special guest artists plus

Open Mic

The first 25 MCs to register at the door will get to spit live over Large Pro and Marco Polo’s Beats

Open Mic hosted by: Jeru the Damaja, Juju of the Beatnuts, End of the Weak, and the world’s #1 battle mc, Iron Solomon

Doors: 8 pm

Price: $12 in advance or RSVP/$18 at the door

How’s that for chutzpah?

Miss Heather

*Which I have heard was shut down by the city 7/23.

Comment Of The Week: 156 India Street

July 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11222, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

I guess I’m late in responding to this, but my then gf & now wife lived at 156, in the back house. I should state that I am a structural engineer. The first time I went there, happy to be invited back to a new girl’s house for the first time, I was absolutely floored by the condition of both buildings on the property.

There were holes in the front house that birds had happily nested in. The hole thing had an odd slant to it. Her friends who lived there asked me if I could do anything, but I knew that reporting it would get the place condemned, leaving them with no place to go and moderate fines for the Owner. Which is pretty much what happened.

My wife moved in with me to a nice place a few blocks away last year, but one of her friends stayed, only to come home to fire trucks & police in front of her house one night. She was given a small window to get her stuff & find a new place to live. As a younger single woman with family & friends in the area, she ended up ok, but there were families in the building who had been there for over 10 years, and I know one Polish family had a profoundly disabled wheelchair ridden child. I can’t imagine what they did.

That there is often no significant penalty to owners/landlords like this is just wrong. There should be criminal penalties associated with this type of abuse.
Rant over!

Yes there should be, but our city doesn’t seem to be too keen on defending the rights of lowly renters. If they were real go-getters they’d own a condo by now.

(Soapbox)

I am not a go-getter. I rent. As do great number of people in this neighborhood. We cannot afford a down payment on a $500,000 condominium and as a result we place our trust in landlords. They are the guardians of our personal safety. Unfortunately all too many of them are like Mr. Nealis.* When landlords fail, we call 311. To little avail. This city should be ASHAMED of itself.

Miss Heather

*Who I am certain would love to have this lot demolished. It’s probably worth more without rent-stabilized housing on it.