Greenpoint Photos du Jour: The Professor

October 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone who has knocked around my corner of Greenpoint knows the Professor. If not, you should. He’s a rather interesting chap who takes some great photographs of the Garden Spot “when no one is around”. Here are a few.

Greenpoint Avenue.

Greenpoint and Manhattan Avenue, September 11, 2008.

The New Warsaw Bakery late at night.

I call this one “Conspicuous Consumption”.

Great pix, Prof!*

Miss Heather

*Listen to his answering machine MP3s they’re creepily (and guilt-inducingly) addictive!

Up In Smoke

October 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


You watched the last Presidential Debate: if left you cold. Your 401K is shot to shit because the economy is going to hell. The thought of Sarah Palin being the president of the United States terrifies the holy shit out of you (as it should— McCain ain’t getting any younger, gosh darn it).  Why not suffer in style by smoking a hookah?*


The ever cool guys at the Greenpoint Grocery have ‘em!

These “Paradise Hookahs” sell for $45.00 a pop including charcoal and tobacco. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em and GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Greenpoint Grocery
1016 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

*What ingredients you see fit to put in said hookah is your own damned business. That said, I’d advise you load up on more exotic material (banana peels, sludge from Newtown Creek, etc.**) and smoke it the next time Sarah Palin opens her pie hole. It’ll probably make her pedagogical, e.g.; racist, sexist, classist cum “simple small town woman” shtick go down better.

**This is satire.

It Has Begun!

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Total collapse of the world’s economic system, you ask?

No. This is much, much better. As I have often stated Halloween is my favorite holiday. The reasons for this are complex, but here are a few (in order of ascending importance):

  1. I was married on Halloween.
  2. October 31 is the only day I feel “normal”.
  3. The folks down on Humboldt Street will be rolling out the best damned Halloween display in New York City— and perhaps the world!

When I walked by last week there was nothing. No so today. There were definite signs of progress. I struck up a conversation with their next door neighbor (the chap sweeping up leaves in the above photograph). Here’s his take on it:

It gets better every year.


The evil clowns are back!

With a few new friends like this black cat…

a big fat rat Greenpoint Retriever by the front door…

and a very scary (if a bit careworn) ghost…

and a couple of companions!

This image takes me back to my honeymoon.

The second floor is looking good.

There was one thing that bothered me. Fortunately I was lucky enough to meet the woman who lives at this two story house of pain and ask her about it.

Miss Heather: You’re going to bring back the guy puking up blood, aren’t you?
Woman/Wife (pointing to a chap wearing a G-Unit shirt): You’ll have to talk to him about that. (To chap in G-Unit shirt) Hey, this woman has a question for you.
Man/Husband: Yes?
Miss Heather: You’re not finished are you? I really want to see the guy barfing up blood. He’s my favorite.
Man/Husband (smiling): No, we’re not done yet.
Miss Heather: Thanks! I’ll be back. I’m going to film it this year. I was married on Halloween, you know— and now that I think about it my marriage is a lot like Halloween. EVERY DAY.


So there have you. No confirm as to whether the blood barfer will be part of this year’s ensemble but there is plenty more to come.

And I can hardly wait!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Be sure to check out my Flickr set to see more photographs of this awesome display of Halloween spirit! This one pretty much says it all!

Boobification Photos du Jour: Goin’ Downtown

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Today I had the pleasure of meeting a friend (and overall very cool person) for lunch. The downshot was it was over by City Hall in Manhattan. I suspect I speak for many when I say this is not exactly my favorite part of town. I decided to sweeten the pot a little by bringing a couple of friends along. Here are the results.

When I got above ground at City Hall there was a flurry of activity. If all the camera men I saw were any indication I’d say they were prepping for a press conference. Probably regarding Bloomberg’s circuitous method of lifting Mayoral of term limits so he can run for a third term. This got me to thinking:

I wonder if there is any place on the premises where I could do my devilish work without becoming a “security risk”?

Sure enough I found one such spot right under my nose. Literally.

This is the great seal of the City of New York.

This is the great seal of the City Titties of New York boobified. SIGILLUM CIVITATIS NOVI BOOBUM!


Perhaps it’s because I was born in Texas but I’ve always had a thing for cowboys.

Especially the ones who chomp on a cigar while sporting a nice big rack. Those bad boys give me a lot to smile about, how about you?


Since I happened to be in the area I decided to check out Wall Street. It was packed wall to wall (no pun intended) with reporters preparing to relay the latest salvo of (most likely bad) news regarding our nation’s economy.

I suppose we have gone from a bull market to a bear market.

I mused to myself. It was at this moment that I had my eureka moment: I CAN CHANGE THINGS. To this end I purchased a roll of scotch tape and headed south without delay.

Behold, the Boob Market.

What effects Greenpoint effects Wall Street. Screw black Monday, let’s have a Pink and perky Wednesday!*

Miss Heather

*I would be remiss if I didn’t say the most rewarding part of sticking a pair of tits on the Wall Street bull was not the final product (as nice as it is). Rather, it was the look on the tourists’ faces after I did it. It went down something like this.

Miss Heather: Excuse me, do you mind if I go next? It’s for an art project.

ASIDE: It was at this moment I realized:

A. These people are staring at me because I am holding a pair of rubber tits or
these people do not speak English.

Believe it or not, I think it was point “B.” Seriously.

Anyhoo, when I got done they just stood there in silence —save one tiny woman wearing a sari (who I would presume was from India). She found it quite amusing. Feeling like I should say something, I did:

Welcome to New York. Enjoy your stay.

Halloween Photo du Jour: Leonard Street Pumpkins

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Halloween is by far my favorite holiday of the year. What’s more, my fellow Greenpointers step up to the occasion with a great deal of relish. For the previous two reasons I will be featuring some of my favorite Halloween decorations from the Garden Spot (and beyond) to get into the spirit of the season. These little fellas hail just a short distance from this headless chap. I wonder if one of these heads belongs to him?

Miss Heather

P.S.: I cannot resist posting this great offering from last year.

Will the fine folks from this house on Humboldt top this diabolically clever creation? I don’t know—but I am very eager to find out!

THIS WEEKEND: Animated Shorts

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

This weekend 3rd Ward is serving up some animated short films that simply sound too good to pass up. Here’s the scoop per their press release:

This Sunday, October 12th, Moviehouse at 3rd Ward presents four brand new animators with fresh films featuring revenge, epic battle, sex, violence and…vegetables.  This FREE screening series, which debuted in September, brings the very best in local filmmaking to 3rd Ward Every 2nd Sunday.  Join us for drinks, tasty treats, lively discussion with the filmmakers and the cool beats and visuals of VJ Clay Franklin who lays his favorite songs over spliced together found footage and old movie clips.

Awphul Alfie by Maz Salazar
Little Alfie destroys everything in his path as he seeks revenge on the young lady who made him drop his candy bar.

by Joshua Weisbrod
News reporter Basher Rockaround suffers the consequences when his biggest fan enters an epic battle with a tiny bald man.

Adventures in Broccoli
by Dan Mountain
Sex, violence and vegetables. Is it a dream or just what happens when you wake up?

Cat Food
by Christopher Ko
A young girl and her cat battle as the world falls apart around them.

Doors open at 7:00 and the screening begins at 8:00 p.m. For more information about this event check out 3rd Ward’s web site.

Moviehouse: Animation Versus
Third Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11237

Interested attendees can RSVP for this event via email at moviehouse (at) thirdward (dot) com.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Cello On Commercial

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

A walk around Greenpoint on any given day will offer up all manner and variety of delectable randomness. In the case of last Saturday this happened to be a little cello playing at the corner of Commercial and Clay Street. This photograph comes courtesy of Rowan5. Nice shot!

Miss Heather

Newtown Creek Mapping Workshop

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg 

A reader named Amanda passed this along to me and I, in turn am going to pass it along to you as it sounds very interesting

In partnership with the Newtown Creek Alliance, HabitatMap invites you to participate in a community mapping workshop at LaGuardia Community College on the evening of Monday, October 20th from 6:30-8:30… At the Newtown Creek Neighborhoods Community Mapping Workshop participants will:

  • discover how web-based tools can magnify the impact of community organizing campaigns;
  • hear from experienced organizers who have been active in the Newtown Creek Neighborhoods for decades; and
  • learn how to navigate and mine city, state, and federal databases for information relevant to their own personal health and the health of their families and communities.

Participants should come prepared to begin mapping their neighborhoods so bring any relevant documents and photos but most importantly, bring your ideas.

The Newtown Creek Neighborhoods Community Mapping Workshop will be held at LaGuardia Community College, building E, room 228… The entrance to building E is located at 31-10 Thomson Ave. between 31st St. and Van Dam St.

Those of you who are interested in checking this workshop out should be advised that there is limited space so be sure to RSVP at your earliest convenience by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Reader Question Of The Week: The Chimes

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Karyn (from Diamond and Norman) writes:

I have been stumped, and now I am moving into madness.  For MONTHS now, every couple hours (sometimes more) I hear a “chime” go off in Greenpoint. It repeats itself maybe 4 times in a row, and goes away-  whole event lasting less than a minute, then, silence.

Suddenly, and without warning, nor pattern, it begins again.

Sometimes an hour later, sometimes longer.  WHY!??!  I have asked many Greenpointers and all we can agree on is that it is making us bonkers. Is this the point?

Help us.

Anyone have a theory about the source of this mystery noise? Perhaps it is coming from a church? Thoughts, anyone?

Miss Heather

Bed-Stuy Photo du Jour: What It Is

October 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy 

From Broadway.

Miss Heather