95 Clay Street Revisited

March 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As I was crossing the Pulaski Bridge yesterday I found myself wondering if I could see the building the owners of 95 Clay Street managed to erect without a nary a permit or notice from the Department of Buildings. When I reached the incline at Box Street I stopped and turned around.

95 Clay Street

Sure enough, there it was. In fact I made a rather amusing discovery as I gazed upon at this masterpiece of illegal construction.

95 Clay Street and 48 Box Street

It is located only a Stop Work Order’s throw’s away from one of the Department of Buildings outstanding achievements in Greenpoint: 48 Box Street. As my compatriot over at the Gowanus Lounge put it so eloquently, this building is the product of immaculate construction. Despite numerous Stop Work Orders it just keeps getting taller and taller. I’ve noticed this. My colleague over at the Brooklyn Optimist has noticed this. People who cross the Pulaski Bridge have noticed this. But strangely enough, the Department of Buildings has not. And now there another building right beside it that was completed without a permit and whose only means of egress is through the basement of the building in front of it. Go figure.

Wishing to discuss this matter with a professional, I shared my findings with Hard Hat Hannah.

Illegal Building

I pointed out the new building in 95 Clay Street’s backyard and then I made light of its illustrious neighbor.

Hannah and 48 Box Street

She was less than pleased.

Miss Heather

Could Not Be A Man

March 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

In keeping with Women’s History Month I thought it would interesting to see if the Brooklyn Daily Eagle archives would have any material of both feminist and Greenpoint interest. Not only did I find just such an article (from the March 29, 1902 edition), but it is a really intense tome at that. Read on and get a glimpse of how one woman felt about her lot in life over 100 years ago.

3/29/1902 BDE

While disturbing, this article (all the way down to the manner in which it is written) is an excellent indicator of the popular sentiment harbored towards women at the end of the Victorian era. The author of this articles points out twice that Ms. Moshoson ran a profitable dress making business, but gave no thought whatsoever to the possibility that this career did not make her happy. He goes on to glibly state:

the fact that women walking on the streets are not immune from the stares of men was another thing which is said to disturb her

but does not some seem to care whether or not the above behavior is socially unacceptable. This is probably because it wasn’t and (as the popularity of HollabackNYC would attest) still isn’t. It was simply her lot in life to be looked at. Being a woman, she had no say so in the manner.

In closing, I think what drove Ms. Moshoson to suicide was the fact she was all to aware of what the world had to offer and her sex precluded from experiencing much of it. She was, in a manner of speaking, dying from the drudgery and lack of dignity that was a woman’s life in the early 20th century. Hers was a living death. While it makes me happy that women have come a long way in the last 100 years, the fact of the matter is as a society we still have a long, long way to go.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: McCarren Park

March 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The Asshole Tree

Not only did we get spiffy new signs admonishing us (in two languages no less) not to drink publicly, but we have also been blessed with our first asshole tree!

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Blogfest III Needs Your Help!

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Okay. I’ve got a tentative booking at the Brooklyn Lyceum for May 8th. Trouble is, they won’t pencil it in (cause they’re kind of jerky about that) and I have to give them $600 to cover the entire cost (which is $100/per hour) of space rental from 5 p.m. until 11 p.m if they’re going to hold it for us. NOW.The Lyceum, it seems to me, is a perfect location, literally right on top of the R-train. It’s big, they’ve got a stage, A/V equipment, etc. It’ll be fairly easy to do food there, etc. I think it’s sort of perfect. And it’s on the new fourth Avenue (after party at the Holiday Inn Express – just kidding). Maybe Canteen wants to cater. Anyway, all good. I was going to go ahead and do that but finances are a little wobbly right now. Does anyone want to help me pay for it. They will be reimbursed after the Blogfest. How should we do this?

Indeed, how should WE do this? Anyone who is interested in helping make Brooklyn Blogfest III happen can contact me at:

misheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com

I’ll hook you up with the author of the above missive.

Miss Heather

Reflections Upon Gentrification: #1 Of The Greenpoint 10

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

All too often as I sit at this computer and listen to the bang banging of Magic Johnson’s silver hammers I find myself worrying about my neighborhood’s future:

Will the developers succeed turning the glory that is Greenpoint into yet another bland affluent ghetto?

Twenty years from now will I find myself explaining to my own children, or more likely SOMEONE ELSE’S children, that there was a time when The Garden Spot on the Universe not only did not suck, but had personality? I certainly hope not.

The previous are both very good questions. And today I found a glimmer of hope that the character of our neighborhood— or more accurately the characters who reside therein— are quite alive and well.

Pigtails

Never seen male pattern baldness paired with pigtails, you say? Come on down to Manhattan Avenue. We got it. Take that gentrification!

Pigtails Back

What’s more, we don’t need any tony, overpriced Bedford Avenue boutiques telling us how to dress. We can coordinate our jackets, sweat pants, mini skirts, purses and hairdos just fine on our own, thank you very much.

Viva La Punta Verde!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 4:52 p.m.: I have since learned this person is quite the fashion plate. G-Point writes:

This man lives but a few doors down from me. Just last week, while waiting for the B61 bus, my husband and I saw him in front of Lite Bites wearing – I kid you not – a Catholic schoolgirl-style plaid skirt and black tights. A couple of years ago, we saw him emerge from his apartment to take the garbage out in NOTHING BUT GRANNY UNDERWEAR.

God I love Greenpoint!

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Unlucky N. 13 Street

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

N 13 Street and Wythe

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Miss Heather

ATTENTION LADIES!

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy 

Ever since I scored that tee shirt explaining my not needing to work (because I have a fine ass) I have had the unquenchable desire to work it. While wearing said shirt, naturally. Too bad I learned about this great opportunity in Bedford Stuyvesant a week too late.

Shake Off

This “shake off” against violence would have been just the ticket. I’m a little confused about the prizes, though. 90%, 75%, and 65% added together is 230% of the earnings. Perhaps this is that “new math” I am hearing so much about? Or they watched “The Producers” recently?

Party People Only

I’m glad to see they demanded not only an interview but also a live audition. If I am going to schlep my fine ass down to Bed Stuy to perform in this event, I refuse to “shake off” with practicing amateurs. When you have the kind of credentials I do, you demand to work with professional party people only. This requirement is clearly stated on my curricula vitae.

Miss Heather

Studio Apartment on Myrtle Avenue

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

Am I the only person who feels this way, or does the glut of “luxury” apartments on the market leave other people with a bad taste in their mouth? Time and time again I find myself asking:

How much “luxury” can New York City possibly stomach? What about the rest of us who wish to have something a little more interesting and a lot less prefab? Something with a little character— but convenient to public transportation, of course.

If you too have found yourself having the above thoughts, dear readers, I bring some very good news.

Phat digs on Myrtle Avenue

I found this beauty on Myrtle Avenue just off the Wyckoff Avenue stop of the M train— and by “just off” I mean in the shadow of the elevated tracks. Not only is it conveniently located to public transportation but it also appears to be ready for move-in! I cannot for the life of me understand why this beauty has not been snapped up. Perhaps it is due to lack of advertising?

Now anyone will tell you I am a “take action” kind of person. The people must know about this fabulous property! To this end I researched apartment advertisements on Craigslist to get a little inspiration. The search terms I used were as follows: “Bushwick”, “Myrtle” and “studio”. I was astonished by what I found.

SPACIOUS STUDIO

East Williamsburg just keeps getting bigger and bigger nowadays. You know, I sense a Craiglist ad mash-up coming on…

EAST WILLIAMSBURG STUDIO

Now THIS is what I call “AMAZING AVRY THING!”

Miss Heather

Great Moments in Real Estate Advertising, Bushwick Edition

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

I found the following advertisements within five minutes walking distance of each other in Bushwick. They are so tremendously entertaining I simply have to share them. Here they are.

Exhibit A: Wilson Avenue and Starr Street

We Buy Ugly Houses

I cannot for the life of me grasp the advertising world’s fascination with cave men. If I found myself in the unfortunate position of having to divest of an “ugly house” as they put it, I would prefer to conduct business with someone who walks upright.

Exhibit B: Wilson Avenue and Willoughby Street

From the Neighborhood

I just about pissed my pants laughing at this one. Note that like its predecessor the use of the pointed finger is employed but this time it is (thankfully) brandished by a homo sapiens in a suit. The juxtaposition of the McMansion in the advertisement against the standard four story tenement (clad in aluminum siding, no less) it is shilling tickles yours truly’s funny bone to no end. Just in case the point was lost on any potential customers they were even thoughtful enough to add a second sign reading “For Sale”. Perhaps this guy and the cave man should sit down and talk business?

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Lorimer Street

March 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Prohibited

It would appear that McCarren Park has been graced with a new piece of signage. The handy visual aide really helps to drive the point home. He even has a beer gut!

Miss Heather