Interesting Consumer Product of the Week

May 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone in the Garden Spot threw his (or her) hat into the hipster hating ring. This shirt can be found at District Dog, a rather nifty shop that sells very cool goods for creatures with and without fur.

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday: Eckford Street

Today’s installment of Fedders Friday hails from right here in Greenpoint. Many delights await the intrepid traveler who goes to Eckford Street.

Just north of Greenpoint Avenue one can check out 265.

This is the site of Crater Lake, which as you can see, is looking as inviting as ever.

And just down the street at 257 is this, a true masterwork of the Fedderist style.

Fedders boxes are evident, although the builder seems to have decided against placing one here. I am certain Louis Le Vau, the mastermind behind Versailles would understand this architect’s frustration at this egregious and unsolicited modification of his “vision”. That is, if Fedders boxes existed in the 17th century. Philistines.

Thank goodness no expense was spared regarding the use of cement and iron gates.

In keeping with great palaces, this one employed the use of a muralist. Art, after all, inspires and uplifts the soul. Just as Louis the XIV had Charles Le Brun at his service, the fine folks at 257 Eckford have seen fit to retain “DRIP”.

Yes sir your highness, this is one classy establishment.

A gracious host always see to it that his (or her) guests are entertained. In the era of the Sun King this usually entailed having extensively manicured gardens to stroll through and forests stocked with wild animals for the hunt. In Greenpoint we stick to down hill sledding.

As the buzzers attest there is no shortage of hired help on hand to attend to your every need. In addition, those of you who happen to overindulge at the ball, an amply stocked pissoir has thoughtfully been put in place for your convenience.

Tres magnifique!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Bicycle du Jour: Snack Time

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As we learned in this post sometimes people leave some rather— how shall we say— unpleasant items in the baskets of parked bicycles.

So naturally when I saw this bike on Humboldt Street my curiosity got the better of me. I simply had to see what was in the basket.

Anyone feeling a little peckish?

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Iron Butterfly

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

From McKibben Street.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Online Real Estate Advertising: $2,200/Mo. Acid Trip

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yes folks $2,200 a month for a two bedroom railroad apartment in Greenpoint. What the hell is this dude on? It must be “good shit” to quote Cheech and Chong.

As for the rest of us, Major T. J. King Kong from Dr. Strangelove put such absurdity in perspective all too well when he said:

…I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones the Internets.

Turn off the odious music on this advertisement, turn on “Sunshine of Your Love”* by Eric Clapton tune into reality and drop out.

Miss Heather

*”White Room” also works well.

East Williamsburg Photos du Jour: The Green House

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

What I love about knocking around Cooper Park is all the odd the side streets. There’s always a nifty discovery around every corner.

Like this, the green house of East Williamsburg, at the intersection of Judge and Powers Street.

Here’s a rear view. If you have the means and/or sick leave today check this house out for yourself. It’s pretty amazing.

Miss Heather

Most Polite Demolition Ever

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Flushing Realty has been kind enough to notify their neighbors that this eyesore cool old house will torn down as soon as the city “bureaucracy” sees fit to let them. Don’t believe me? Read for yourself!

How very considerate of them!

And how very considerate of the Department of Buildings to not serve them violations.

Can you feel the love? I know I do.

If you don’t no worries. I found a trace of 59 Orient’s former glory just down the street, maybe it will pump your ‘nads.

All this site needs is a good piledrivin’

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: May Flowers

May 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Meserole Avenue.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Bushwick Avenue

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Today dear readers I spent the afternoon walking around Greenpoint, East Williamsburg and Bushwick posting fliers for next week’s bedbug workshop. When I reached the intersection of Montrose and Bushwick Avenue I was exhausted but my instincts told me to press on. So I did.

This was a very good decision.

Although I am very grateful to all the local business owners who were so kind as to permit me to post fliers (regarding subject matter that is admittedly less than savory) on their premises (they were great, all) the fact of the matter is after talking about nothing but bedbugs for three hours tends to make person a bit daffy*. Remembering what Carl Spackler said in the cinematic masterpiece that is Caddyshack, I decided to use these varmints as a means to aid and abet in their own destruction.

And that’s all she wrote.

Miss Heather

P.S.: In all seriousness, I could really use some help distributing more fliers in Bushwick, Greenpoint, Williamsburg and Long Island City. If anyone is interested in helping to get the word out please shoot me an email at missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com

*My favorite conversation by far was with a bodega owner at the intersection of Franklin and Milton Street right here in Greenpoint. He was in the military and spent much time overseas. As he put it:

We would cover the mattresses with talcum powder. If we saw anything move we knew to go somewhere else.

Subway Photo du Jour: Reloaded

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From the Lorimer Street stop of the L.

Miss Heather