A Study In Contrast

March 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Last weekend on Jackson Street I had the pleasure of discovering one of the most verbose admonishments to remove one’s bicycle from another person’s premises I have ever seen.

This is not a bike rack

The author of this note brings up a very salient point: there are certain legal ramifications to be had if someone injures him/herself on someone’s property. His (or her) argument for this bike’s removal is well thought-out and attempts to employ reason in the hopes the owner of this vehicle will do the right thing. Unfortunately this oft-used form of manipulation usually backfires because a great number of people on this planet are anything but reasonable. Perhaps they should give my new friends at Rude Towing a ring?

It has been my observation that the best inducements are the ones which make it known it is in the offender’s best interest to cease and desist with his/her anti-social behavior. Keep it concise and straight to the point. Like this classic piece of anti-bicycle signage from Calyer Street in Greenpoint.

Sliced and Stripped

I have walked by this house on a number of occasions. I have yet to see a bicycle affixed to it or any part of its property in any way, shape or form. It just goes to show Teddy Roosevelt was onto something when he said:

Speak softly and carry a big stick a chain saw.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg’s First McMansion?

March 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Just when I thought our friends off the L train could not possibly top the already strange (and in most cases hideous) melange of architecture that has recently become the standard there, a few buddies and I decided to take a walk down Jackson Street. I was, once again, proven very, very wrong.

170 Jackson Street

Miss Heather: Holy shit.
Miss Rachael: That looks like something from southern California.
Miss Heather: I disagree. This house has Miami written all over it.


I can almost hear Tony Montana greeting one of his associates at the front gate exclaiming:

You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friends!


This has got to be the only house in north Brooklyn with cherubs gracing the front door. Or are they putti? I guess it doesn’t really matter. I haven’t seen a house here with those either.

170 Jackson Street View 2

Mr. Heather and I spent a half hour trying to determine what architectural style this is. He asserted it was Georgian. Sort of. We finally agreed that it was High Drug Cartel with Balconies. All this baby needs is a little Greco-Roman statuary and an ornate fountain in front of the entrance and your family business is ready to move in!

Miss Heather

P.S.: All in all I suppose this house isn’t too bad. At least not when compared to its neighbor across the street.

High Fedders Style on Jackson Street

Dung Of The Day: Nassau Avenue

March 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

Last weekend I had the pleasure of having two friends accompany me on my weekly walk of Greenpoint. It was a most enjoyable experience for yours truly. We not did we chatter away but I got to play tour guide to boot. Of course there came a point on Nassau Avenue when I had to drop the amateur act and get down to business. What kind of business, you ask? The business that graces much of our neighborhood’s sidewalks. Yes, I am talking about dog shit.

GHWB and Quayle

I think. As soon as I saw this pasty pile of poo in front of the local funeral parlor I knew exactly what to do. To this end I opened my backpack, retrieved my bust of George Herbert Walker Bush and put it to good use.

Poles and Bush

This act of social commentary did not go unnoticed by my fellow passersby. The above two gentlemen stopped walking and engaged in a heated discussion in front of my object de arte. You have to hand it to us Greenpointers, we love to talk about politics.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Morgan Avenue

March 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Rude System of Towing, Inc.

This of course begs the question as to whether there is a polite approach to towing.

Miss Heather

So It Goes…

March 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Xtra Discount Deceased

as Kurt Vonnegut would say.

Greenpoint lost a much-needed houseware store.

Woo Hoo WaMu!

And by all appearances, it would appear a bank is slated to take its place. This will make three banks on one block: CitiBank, Dime Bank and WaMu. Needless to say this achievement will be duly noted on Gentrification Bingo.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Could someone please explain to me why banks have not seen fit to open shop north of Greenpoint Avenue?

Happy Easter From 110 Green Street!

March 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 



No, it was not Jesus seeking egress from Hell. It was this guy seeking entrance to 110 Green.

The above photograph was taken today, March 23, at 12:53 p.m. The two gentleman in front of the trailer had just completed lifting the third chap (who can be seen peeking over the scaffolding) on top of the trailer so he could access the work site.

That’s what I call team work!

Miss Heather

P.S.: When Mr. Heather and I walked by there later (1:30 p.m.) they were busy at work.

CEMENT from 110 Green

We also took note that Magic Johnson’s crew saw fit to dump/pump their concrete detritus on Green Street for all to enjoy. Imagine what wonders this will do for our sewer system!

State Funds Allocated For Brownfield Study

March 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Williamsburg 


Last week I received a press release from the Newtown Creek Alliance announcing that they, the Greenpoint Manufacturing and Design Center and Riverkeeper have been awarded a New York State Brownfields Opportunity (! — Ed. Note) Area grant in the amount of $625,545. What is a “BOA Grant” you ask? Here is a brief synopsis from the aforementioned press release:

The BOA program, created in 2003 along with the State’s Brownfield Cleanup Program, is an innovative planning program that provides communities with financial assistance to facilitate the collection of basic information about an area blighted with brownfields. The program provides assistance to identify, prepare, create, develop, and assemble information to be included in an application to “nominate” an area as a BOA. The program also provides financial assistance for site assessments performed in designated BOAs.

Designation of an area as a BOA can provide other benefits. For example, projects located within the BOA can receive priority and preference when considered for financial assistance under some State, federal or local programs, and may receive preference in infrastructure improvements. A BOA designation is likely to help attract redevelopment interest because of the community support that underlies a BOA plan.

The funds for studying Newtown Creek will be used in manifold number of ways. Among them are:

…to assess redevelopment opportunities for contaminated sites along the Creek pursuant to intensive community input, emphasizing high-performance, environmentally sustainable industrial uses, parks and wetlands creation, and improved environmental infrastructure. The study will examine the watershed as a whole in an effort to improve the environmental condition of both the land and water. The Newtown Creek study area includes portions of Long Island City, Maspeth, Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, and Bushwick.

Those of you who are interested in getting the full scoop (or simply want to savor sound bites from numerous public officials) click here and you will be directed to the press release on Riverkeeper’s web site. Be advised this item is in PDF format.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Say What On Havemeyer Street

March 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

C-Town Special

I didn’t know you could purchase this at the local grocery store. God I love New York City! Only in the Big Apple can you get this service delivered right to your front door. Literally.
Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Rebecca11222

Easter Photo du Jour: Bushwick

March 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

Generation Trash

From Broadway.

Miss Heather

Happy Easter From Greenpoint!

March 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Russell Street

Watch out for those chocolate bunnies, they’ll get ya!

Norman Avenue

This cute little guy has a basket full of tasty treats!

Russell Street Two

As does this dapper fellow on Russell Street. I wonder why these eggs are so big— maybe it has something to do with the sewage treatment plant?

Manhattan Avenue

This delectable rabbit is certain to tickle many a sweet tooth today.

Manhattan Avenue 2

Even the blood pressure monitors on Manhattan Avenue are feeling the holiday spirit!

Greenpoint Avenue G

Happy Easter from New York Shitty!

Miss Heather