Renegade Craft Fair

June 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Today I braved the strange weather and downright brutal humidity to check out the Renegade Craft Fair at the McCarren Park Pool. All in all, I had a great time. Follows is a short film documenting my interaction with the bio-fueled “Post Card Machine”, my inability to follow directions, affection for chickens …and more!

Anyone interested in contacting the brilliant brain behind this machine can do so via email at:

michellery (at) hotmail (dot) com

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can look for more neat things I found at the fair on my Flickr page.

Happy Father’s Day From New York Shitty!

June 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Better late than never, I always say. This one goes out to Pa Heather. I figured he’d appreciate this photograph (from Red Pearl on Bedford Avenue) given his affection for the movie A Christmas Story.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Phoito du Joir: Hoisery

June 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Studio B Rooftop Garden: What A Difference A Couple Of Months Make!

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The above screen cap was taken April 10, 2008.

This one was taken June 14, 2008.

Hmm. I wonder what made the Department of Buildings change their mind?

Miss Heather

UPDATE, June 16, 2008: Check out the comment left by “Citizen Skein” It is very illuminating.

Great Moments In Aluminum Siding: Volume XVI

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Vinyl Siding 

It’s been a long, long time since I have documented some quality siding action here in Greenpoint. Too long, in fact. Thankfully, I walked down Java Street and got my religion back.

Ragu I, meet Belvedere XII. I don’t know about you, but at $10 the house of Ragu is not only very affordable, but it is also more attractive.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This one goes out to my reader who learned that his childhood home was razed to build Belvedere 12.

Stoop Sale Alert: Mother Of All?

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

NO JUNK, NO JOKE.

This might be worth checking out. Speaking from personal experience, some of the best stoop sale scores I have made have come from Kent. Street, that is.

Miss Heather

Friday The 13th At Studio B

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

One would think after having the Department of Buildings cite them for not having their Public Assembly paperwork in order (and having this brought to the attention of the Department of Consumer Affairs) that Studio B would cease their illicit behavior.

Nope. 9:45 last night they were gearing up to party on both floors! Do they have legal right to conduct business in this rooftop garden? No. They don’t exactly have right to do so on the first floor either. To Studio B’s credit, they may be scofflaws but at least they’re consistent.

An angry neighbor writes me (at 11:55 p.m.):

311 wouldn’t take my complaint because the same thing had just been called in to the DOB.

That’s one way of making the city look like it is doing it’s job and everything is hunky dory: refuse to document complaints. Speaking as someone who has worked in management (and actually gave a damn), however, this is very ineffective policy customer service-wise. And make no mistake about it— as tax payers (READ: clients), we are to be served by this city’s agencies— not the other way around.

When one client brought something to my attention, I took notice. When 2,3,4+ more people complained to me about the same thing, I addressed it. Immediately. I suppose that is the difference: I actually cared about the clients under my care. This city, apparently, doesn’t.

Miss Heather

Did You Lose Your Chihuahua?

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

If so, he was found at the corner of Berry and North 9th Street yesterday, Friday 13th, at 11:00 a.m. He is safe and sound in a “dog-friendly household nearby”. You can retrieve your (incredibly cute) prodigal pup by calling the phone number on the above flier.

Miss Heather

Free Movies At The American Playground

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Bitchcakes totally beat me to the scoop on this one and I congratulate her. If I have to be out-dished by someone, I am delighted it be by someone as beautiful, witty and charming as she is. I have met Miss Cakes (she’s even more fabulous in person) and am proud to have her as a neighbor.

That said, as are most seemingly good things in this neighborhood, this entertainment has an interesting benefactor. Watch the film I shot of this evening’s festivities and you’ll get the idea.

Thanks in part to you, Mr. Guttman, Greenpoint is smokin’ with excitement!

Again.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Sincere props go out to Photoplay, the Parks Department and all the other peeps behind these movie nights. Seriously. It is a GREAT idea: not only is it a free evening’s entertainment, but it gives us Greenpointers an opportunity to hang out, have fun and get to know each other.

How Not To Have First Date In Greenpoint

June 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

1. You take your date out to dinner.

2. Over dinner you ask her how old she is.*

3. She refuses to tell you.

4. After dinner you take your date to the waterfront on Java Street. The view of the Manhattan skyline to be had there has inspired many a Greenpoint romance. That is, unless…

5. the police show up, tell you that you’re trespassing and demand identification.

6. You tender identification: a driver’s license from Alabama. Cop is non-plussed and interrogates you as to where you live.

7. Your date has no identification whatsoever, so she is given a thorough dressing down (e.g.; I could arrest you…) and is forced to state how old she is: 34.

8. You laugh.

9. Cop gets angry and asks “What are you laughing at?” You reply “Over dinner she refused to tell me how old she was.” Cop is not amused.

10. You are let go, but your evening is shot to shit.

This happened to a friend of mine Tuesday night. He’s a real sweetheart and the purpose of this post is not to bust his chops. (Well, maybe a little, but lovingly.) Rather I want to make you, dear readers, aware that the 94th Precinct (for wont of anything better to do) seems to be very keen on harassing people for “trespassing” on the waterfront. So be careful:

  1. Always, ALWAYS have identification on you. Preferably something that verifies you are a New York City resident. As my experience (with, in all probability, the SAME police officer) last December has shown, the N.Y.P.D. loves to grill you about where you live. Is this legal? I don’t know. But by proving that you MIGHT actually have some reason for walking around your own neighborhood gives them one less thing to hassle you about.
  2. If you feel like you have been unfairly treated by a police officer ask for their badge number. They are required by law to give it to you. Period.
  3. Take said badge number and file a complaint with Civilian Complaint Review Board
  4. and/or go to the monthly community meetings hosted by your local precinct. The 94th Precinct community meetings are held at 7:30 p.m. the third Monday of the month at 807 Manhattan Avenue (AKA the Greenpoint Savings Bank). Be sure to use the entrance on Calyer Street.

Bad dates are— for better or worse— a fact of life. Improper police conduct shouldn’t be. Their job as civil servants is to “protect and serve” the public. This includes you.

Miss Heather

*Big, BIG no-no.

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