From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Decisions, Decisions…

September 15, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11215, 11217, Park Slope, Park Slope Brooklyn 

Taken by Axel Taferner.

Urban Artifact: Mission Accomplished?

Humboldt Street Free-cycling NYS

THe MRS Degree Immersion Pack nys

Taken today, September 14th, 2014, on Humboldt Street.

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Smiles

Taken by David Sierra.

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Reserved

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: 10027, Feral Furniture, Harlem, Harlem Manhattan, Street Furniture 

Reserved nys

Taken September 12, 2014.

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Presenting BushSick

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Gentrification, Wow, WTF 

bushsick

With the rapid development of Bushwick, wont be to long until it becomes BushSick

This item was brought to my attention by a person we’ll call “D”. A couple thoughts/observations:

  1. The grammar employed in this advertisement actually inflicted physical pain in yours truly.
  2. I have to wonder about the legality of what appears to be a basement apartment. Fire code, anyone?

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: The Word On The Street

Taken by Scoboco.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Live From The B43 Bus Stop

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn 

An anonymous tipster writes:

Hi Heather!

While waiting for the 43 at Graham & Grand, I noticed a man seemingly passed out across the street. And I called 911. While waiting for help, I noticed the guy coming to. Well, pictures speak louder than words

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Behold, the staredown of shame.

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Damn.

For those of you who are not in the know on top of this Polaroid moment a pair of Time Warner employees— in uniform— were spied engaging in oral sex on the premises of our very own Nature Walk. NOTE: there is a rather large Time Warner facility located next door to this park. I guess the company bathroom simply does not have the same je nais sais quoi. In any case, I suppose the upshot is some are, in fact, enjoying our “open spaces”. Albeit in a rather unconventional matter.

Sorry folks, no photos— at least not yet. What this couple may not be aware of (or perhaps they simply do not care) is there are surveillance cameras on the premises. This incident has been brought to the attention of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee, to much amusement I’ll add. “NCMC” has, in turn, placed a request for said footage.* We’ll see. In any case those of you who seek porn should not pay a premium on cable, simply head over to the Nature Walk!

Naturally I had to make my tipster aware of this. To wit, he/she replied.

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. :)

Awww. Thank you!

*In addition, removing the “no dogs” rules has been brought to the table. Dog owners should be pleased about this as there is no dog run hereabouts. Just don’t let Fido play in the creek, okay?

Today In Illegal Hotels: 5 West 31st Street

Yesterday I had the pleasure of sojourning with some good friends of mine. One fellow— we’ll call him “Q”— took me on a tour of Inwood. Simply put, it was awesome.

5 West 31 Street nys

In return I showed “Q”, being a good host, a not terribly unfamiliar sight in our fair city…

5 West 31 Street door nys

I speak of none other than a Vacate Order!

5 West 31 Street Red Cross nys

It is accompanied by a Red Cross notice. This is getting interesting!

Restraining Order nys

A “restraining order”? This a whole new game. One which I felt compelled to investigate when I got home.

DOB BIS 5 West 31 street

Behold the copious number of actions (94) and violations (103). Impressive!

illegal conversion 5 31 nys

Converting a three bedroom apartment into a five bedroom apartment with two bedrooms twhich sport no windows. Nope, our Bravest ain’t gonna like that one bit!

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No sprinklers either? Oh boy.

illegal conversion nys

 

So they converted three floors of residential space— seven, nine and ten respectively– into hostel space and were in the process of converting floors six and four— without permits naturally. That nonsense is for rank amateurs and these urbanoasisnyc.com folks are superstars!

review

However their clients seemed to have liked them enough. You can see reviews, photos, etc. of this super-sized and quite illegal former hostel on Trip Advisor. Obviously they have not heard the news yet…

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: West 125 Street

September 10, 2014 ·
Filed under: 10027, Harlem, Harlem Manhattan, Manhattan, New York City, Street Art 

West 125 Street Underground nys

Taken September 10, 2014.

Quicklink: DNA.info

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I damned near shot beer out of my nose when I read this corker. I do not think I need to explain why: the first line of this tome pretty much says it all. Nonetheless, I do feel compelled to reiterate the “Schwick” is actually not located in Bushwick. It is in East Williamsburg. It would appear DNA.info is not the only one who has has made note of this.

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Uh oh.

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OUCH!

But of course we all know the “Bushwick” brand is much edgier— and by “edgier” I mean lucrative. So they’re gonna roll with it. Geography be damned! Hell, if even Vogue has jumped on the Bushwick bandwagon you know someone fearful of Boca Raton will make the journey to north Brooklyn’s “hinterlands”. What’s more, they’ll consider themselves “brave” for having had the experience.

The Shwick: It’s Bushwick, curated, so you do not have to deal with people outside your age group, race or class!

You know, the very folks who made this community worth visiting in the first place. Who wants that?