Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Rides

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

“The Beast”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“Gonna Get Got”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“The Bed Bug King”, Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint, 11222.

Ask not for whom the Bed Bug King comes, he comes for thee!

One would think given the nature of what they’re exterminating the Bed Bug King would be a little more low key. I guess not. Having the “Bed Bug Mobile” parked in front of one’s digs has got to be more than little embarrassing. Ouch.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Pabst Santa

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Mr. Heather

Art Direction: Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: A Garden Spot X-Mas

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Rheingold (who shot the above photographs) writes:

Some holiday happiness (and strangeness) from my recent visit back to the neighborhood.Best of everything for the holidays and ’09.

Right back at ya Rheingold and thanks for sharing! Anyone out there know what a “grave blanket” is? If so, please share.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Wish Fulfillment

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

From the Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Exxon Claus?

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Many of you who have lamented over Manhattan Avenue’s lack of Yuletime wattage might have noticed the fancy energy efficient lights that were fired up last Friday, December 12. Well, as it would happen they have a very interesting benefactor (from the December 10th edition of the Greenpoint Gazette):

…Town Square still faces the daunting task of raising the funds for the lights. Companies like ExxonMobil, MetroFuel, and the New York Power Authority have pledged their support and Assemblymember Joe Lentol, Councilmember David Yassky, and Esposito have lent their voices to the call for community support. The Greenpoint Gazette, Greenpoint Lions, and North Brooklyn Development Corporation are helping with collections from local merchants.

Yup, you just read that Exxon is one of the folks ponying up the dough for these bad boys. I don’t know about you, but the given sheer environmental havoc this company has wreaked on our community and the fact that petrol is going for a pretty penny these days I would have expected our “neighbor” (Who some of you might remember co-sponsored Earth Day at McCarren Park this year!) to single-handedly fund a Dyker-fucking-Heightsesque spectacle bathing our main drag in retina-searing glory. Hell, it damned better be visible from outer space for that matter!

In other words, not something that looks like a raver’s glow wand or a swizzle stick gracing a Mai Tai at the local Tiki Club.

Call me a scrooge but this is insulting. Seriously.

Miss Heather

P.S.: The reason the usual lights were not up this year is because ponying up money for them is completely voluntary. And in a sour economy people clasp their wallets a little more tightly than usual. Had Manhattan Avenue created a Business Improvement District (thus spreading the financial burden equally among business owners) it is probable we would have had are usual garish show of holiday cheer this year. Several attempts have been made to start a B.I.D. here. All have failed. Mostly in part to one person who saw fit to engage in a campaign of misinformation about what creating a such an entity entails.

Grand Street has a B.I.D. They have Christmas lights.

Graham Avenue also has a B.I.D. They too have Christmas lights. (See where I’m going with this?)

They also have a holiday trolley to take you to see Santa Claus this weekend.

But the Garden Spot doesn’t have a B.I.D. So we get “Exxon Claus” instead. Lucky us. You can see last year’s lights (courtesy of our very own Bitchcakes) by pointing and clicking your way over to the New York Shitty photo pool.

A Few Events Of Interest For Our Jewish Friends

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan 

As many of you are aware Hanukkah kicks off this Sunday, December 21. Follow are a couple of events our fellow friends of the book might find of interest from Greenpoint and beyond.

First up, Greenpoint’s very own Congregation Ahavas Israel will be kicking things off a celebration this upcoming Sunday starting at 5:00 p.m. For the price of your $20.00 admission ($10.00 for the young ‘uns) you’ll get live music, dancing, dreydel games and latkes for your delectation. Yum!

Hanukkah Celebration
December 21, 2008, 5:00 p.m.
Ahavas Israel
109 Noble Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Those of you seeking festivities of the more unconventional kind (or simply like anything featuring Mexican bandits) will undoubtedly find this item (which yours truly found posted in the door of Christina’s Restaurant.

The details about this revue are pretty scant on Heeb Magazine’s web site. However, I’d gladly fork over $20.00 for an hour of free margaritas and to see anyone calling themselves Strip Dreidel and the Kinky Jews out of sheer principle. What’s more, this sounds like a helluva lot of fun!

HEEBONISM
December 24, 2008 9:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (That’s Christmas Eve to you and me.)
Fontana’s
105 Eldridge Street
New York, New York 10002

Miss “I don’t need no stinking badge” Heather

UPDATE, 4:50 p.m.: I received an email from one of the wizards over at Heeb Magazine with a most interesting clarification regarding this event. Brian writes:

Hey, you guys.

I really appreciate the plug for our party. Thanks a mill. Let me know if you guys want to come, and I’ll get you on our list.

Though I should clarify: “Strip Dreidel with Kinky Jews” isn’t a band. Rather we are actually having some hornball kosher kids play a game that involves, yes, taking their clothes off.

And there will be gift bags galore. Free Silver Bullet vibrators from Babeland. Get there early to nab ’em.

Thanks again, Shitty people!

It doesn’t get much better than this folks.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Fun With Construction Fences On West Street

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Just think, if you lived here you’d be home(less) by now! I wonder if these digs come with a concierge?

Miss Heather

A Little Greenpoint Trivia: 1922-2007

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While the above graffiti (which hails from Green Street) is hardly anything new (it’s been around for just over 1 1/2 years now), in light of some asshole’s recent defacement of most them I have been behooved to finally write a post it here on New York Shitty. Any of you out there care to guess what this star shape and set of dates is referencing? I know what it is and its pretty darned neat!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For the reveal click here.

‘Tis The Season: Of Holiday Cheer & The Greenpoint Hotel*

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

*Where last Friday night I spied a fresh-faced young woman brandishing a notepad interviewing a few of the residents in the vestibule.

Urban Artifacts Du Jour: Greenpoint Vs. The Southside

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Anyone who lives in North Brooklyn will tell you its streets are a treasure trove of interesting stuff. Just take this splendid example from Huron Street.

No, I am not talking about the discarded copy of Harlan Coben’s Gone For Good my intrepid Greenpointers. It is of the wooden box I write!

I didn’t know our fair city did curbside recycling for ordnance. Before you grab your respective telephones and get your Department of Homeland Security on dear readers be advised that there were no explosive projectiles in this container: only a few scraps from a metal frame.

Alas, there will be no revolution in the Garden Spot. Or it has already begun. In which case I suppose there really isn’t much we can do about it except wait for Big Bertha to be rolled out by the Greenpoint People’s Liberation Army (or some similarly guerilla-ish sounding movement).

Greenpoint never ceases to amaze me with its little surprises. After finding the above item I (foolishly) thought to myself:

It’s not going to get any more interesting than this.

Then I sojourned down to South 3rd Street and was proven wrong. Very wrong.

Even though this smiling little fella was unceremoniously crammed into a bucket of grout I knew what laid before me.

Behold the Southside inflatable schlong! In keeping with my mission to save the world’s (or at least Brooklyn’s) stray adult novelty population* I promptly snatched this little critter up and (being all too aware of the possible risk of bringing some unwanted friends home) I (as I have done with all penises I have brought home before) subjected him to a rigorous inspection. He passed with flying colors and we headed home.

A rather elderly Orthodox gentleman didn’t seem to be very pleased when I hopped on board with my new, 24″ (deflated— but circumsized!) friend. But that’s what I love about America; he can worship in the manner his conscious suits him without fear of persecution and I can ride the B61 with an inflatable penis.

I’m not too sure what I am going to do with my new penis other than give him a thorough soaking in a solution of 3 parts water and one part Clorox. After which I will probably introduce him to the “the girls“. Slowly. I suspect they’ll get along smashingly.

Miss Heather

*I was recently given a new batch of abandoned marital aids in need of rehabiliation and some TLC. Stay tuned!

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