Taken by Miss Mousey Brown.
Miss Heather
(Or: Rapunzel Special)
Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):
It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.
Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!
He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:
I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!
And so we did.
Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:
You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ‘em!
To wit Triborough presciently replied:
Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?
Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!
UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!
Point here, click and see for yourself!
I feel compelled to bring this item (which was taken November 22nd by Miss Mousey Brown) to my fellow Greenburgers’s attention. She writes:
This young man is not a public urinator. He is an exhibitionist or public self- pleasurer. This was a little before school let out. This person fondled his genitals on top of his jeans for a minute while surveying the landscape of joggers, soccer players , and me. He pulled out his penis for about one minute, displayed it to all of the north-face of Bayard street and then he decided to put “it” away.
Can you imagine what it will be like when the McCarren Park Pool reopens? He’ll feel like a kid in a candy store! In all seriousness, please be on the lookout for this chap— and if you spot him “at work” call 911 STAT! This is gross.
Miss Heather
P.S.: For those of you who are wondering (you know who you are) and identification purposes this chap is purported to be rather well endowed.
Yours truly didn’t feel like going— but she went anyway. I’m glad I did! For starters (and by Greenpoint standards, anyway) the meeting was pretty mellow. This is a good thing since I was not really in the mood for some of the angrier and uglier rhetoric that can (and does) come to pass at these meetings. This is not to suggest there wasn’t anger: there most assuredly was. The difference was the people (ladies all) who aired their ire were (as a friend noted) so darned nice about it! Bicyclists, illegal sidewalk vendors, impertinent youths and liquor licenses all get the treatment at the hands (or would that be mouths) of these ladies. One such lass made an observation so piquant that she has henceforth earned my undying admiration. But I am getting ahead of myself. Without further ado here is footage from last night’s meeting— along with synopses and a bit of analysis from yours truly. Enjoy!
Part I: D. I. Fulton gives opening statements/props and a general rundown of crime trends.
The Rundown:
Part II: D. I. Fulton speaks about car break-ins and the public speaks!
Part III: The Public Speaks, continued
Parts IV & V: The Public Speaks, continued
The aforementioned Greenpoint resident complains about Five Leaves’s use of the sidewalk (allegedly after permitted hours for a “sidewalk cafe”) and follows is a general discussion:
Closing observations/thoughts:
Miss Heather
*Which inasmuch as much as yours truly can ascertain is STILL operating a monthly strip club. CASE IN POINT:
**I mean this with all due respect. I have grown to absolutely adore Greenpoint grandmas over the years. I simply wish others had the pleasure of enjoying their company. It isn’t so much about “Go back to Ohio”, so to speak, as it is “Get thee to Ohio”— and get us some respect!