Audience Participation Time: Lipstick on a Pig

December 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

caution2THUMBI concluded the yesterday’s postage with a rather lengthy screed about derelict construction sites in Williamsburg and our city’s inability and/or unwillingness to police them. As you can probably deduce from said post, I have been stewing over this phenomenon for some time. I will not lie to you: it felt good to finally “get it out”. What’s more, I really enjoyed one of the comments left on the aforementioned post.

Xris of Flatbush Gardener writes:

It’s not a sidewalk, it’s a promenade.
It’s not graffito, it’s a fresco.
It’s not a vacant lot, it’s an atrium.
It’s not an abandoned foundation, it’s a sunken garden.

The real estate moguls just need to turn that thing around and put lipstick on that pig!

I have given Xris’s proposition considerable thought and have decided that we, the residents of north Brooklyn, should lend a hand in this sterling endeavor. Which brings me to this.

XXX

I found this “enhanced beverage” at North 12 Street between Bedford and Driggs Avenue yesterday afternoon. I find many such specimens in north Brooklyn— usually at failed construction sites. They are known in some circles as “trucker bombs”. Per the Urban Dictionary:

A plastic container (could be a milk jug or a water bottle) that a trucker pisses in while he is driving his truck. Then he throws it out of the window so that he does not have to stop to relieve the call of nature. Can also be a plastic bag and feces may be involved. “Don’t get hit with that trucker-bomb”

This terminology may suit middle-America but it simply too pedestrian for the upscale haven that is Williamsburg (which, it should be noted, has reduced truck traffic). A neighborhood where a one bedroom apartment can run you anywhere from $2,000 a month and up deserves better. So far the best re-branding I have come up with for this human by-product is “McCarren Kombucha”. Certainly a better name can be found. This is where you come in: can you think of a snappy new name for this urban artifact? If so, please leave it in the comments.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Video Du Jour: Sunday Afternoon On Manhattan Avenue

April 7, 2009 ·
Filed under: Recession, Williamsburg 

Today’s example of developer blight comes courtesy of a smallish lot on Manhattan Avenue just north of Grand Street. What initially caught my eye was the “gate” to this site gently listing back and forth in the breeze. Having had a considerable amount of experience with illegal weekend construction I figured there would be workers busy hammering, sawing and riveting. As you will see this ended up not being the case.

Public safety hazard or a new jungle gym for neighborhood youth? I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Miss Heather

Presenting “Rapey Alley”

February 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

rapeyalley

After hearing about the armed robbery down at North 11 Street and Union Avenue that went down last weekend I have been jonesing like a lab rat to get down there and behold the scene of the crime personally. More specifically, I wanted to take in the splendor that is what my colleague Bad Advice calls “Rapey Alley”. On February 16, 2009 she writes:

Call me a wuss, but scaffolding is creepy. At least they’ve finally added lights to ours, but so far I have found lurking: a sofa (okay, not creepy, just large), a man’s jacket (obviously torn off his body), and a backpack that someone had helpfully emptied of its contents. Maybe it belonged to the jacket-owner, who knows. But by far, the creepiest thing I’ve found in Rapey Alley lurks after the jump

panties

Not only did I manage to locate the underwear which accompanied the bra Bad Advice found but I happened upon a lot more neat stuff (like the freshly painted but inoperative call box gracing the beginning of this post). Follow are some highlights.

leftovers

Somebody’s leftover sandwich.

scaffolding

Scaffolding which appears to have been rammed by a motor vehicle.

electricalwires

Some loose electrical wires.

cross

This. Whatever the hell it is.

hitlerwasright

Evidence of Williamsburg Nazis.

blight1

Of course if you want to see some old school developer blight you should head over the North 9th Street between Roebling and Havemeyer.

progress

I like to call this shot “Progress”.

noparking

No parking.

nomorecondos

The graffiti on this fence reads:

No more condos. Fight gentrification.

blight2

blight3

blight4

blight5

Mission accomplished.

Miss Heather

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