New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Hoyt at Baltic Street

September 30, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11217, Brooklyn, Gowanus, Stuff The Makes Heather Sad, WTF 

Today I had to pick up my work from La Bodega Gallery and opted to make a walk/afternoon of it. I took the G to Bergen Street and walked down to Greenwood Heights. It was at Hoyt and Baltic Street that I beheld this.

As you can see, this lamppost has really tied one on. Some next level engineering, this shit. What you cannot see: an electrical cable straddling Baltic: dangling so tantalizing low it grazed a number of passing trucks, buses and the like. That’s something fun waiting to happen.

Here’s a shot with an upright building as a point of reference. Go home lamppost, you’re drunk.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Signs of the Times

The neighborhood sure is getting fancy. Of course there still is plenty of “wiggle room” for the properly motivated person to “act out”. Head down to Freeman Street by the Shit Tits and knock yourselves out fellow reprobates. Tell ’em Heather sent you.

XO

(Taken February 3, 2018)

A Manhattan Avenue Park Spot Of Death Update: “Fixed”

April 18, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This is what I was greeted with bright and early this morning. Per a witness, the Department of Transportation showed up at midnight so as to do this. They made a lot of noise too. In any case, here’s to not having to watch some unfortunate soul’s car getting towed, folks yelling at traffic enforcement agents upon discovering they have been ticketed, etc.

The 983 Manhattan Avenue Parking Spot Of Death: And Now Another Word from the DOT

April 17, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

Since the CBS 2 segment aired there hasn’t been much to relay other than the traffic enforcement agents seem to have stopped— or have seriously cut back— “policing” this ticket trap. Then this morning I received an email. It is so fascinating I am going to share it right here and now. Enjoy!

New York Shitty analysis:

  1. How is “pedestrian safety” relevant to the legality (or otherwise) of this, or any, parking space?
  2. Let’s consider pedestrian safety on the block in question. If “traffic enforcement” took the time/effort to, say, hang out at the intersection of India Street and Manhattan Avenue and ticket each and every motorist and bicyclist who blew through through the traffic signals located there they would make a tidy sum. They would also actually be doing something which does facilitate safer streets for pedestrians. But it is much easier to go after the long-hanging fruit of people parking in an ambiguously marketed parking space.
  3. A response “by mid-July”, you say? NICE.

You can’t make this shit up, folks…

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: If It Fits, It Sits

April 12, 2017 ·
Filed under: 10013, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Manhattan, Wow 

I spied this while strolling down Centre Street yesterday. It was too good to pass up and I have made a six inch by six inch print of it which is for sale for $4.95 a print here. Also, I did a pass by the Manhattan Detention Complex which is located across the street. I had a friend with me at the time and I wanted her to see the “Customer Service” entrance as I find it grimly entertaining.

Fun Fact: Google has reviews for the “MDC”. These can be perused by clicking here. Here’s a teaser:

Food was decent for a jail. Although the rooms were dirty and smelled Funny, not much to do, no one was severely injured at during the stay. The staff was decently helpful and the guest were surprisingly friendly.

I have to say this is eerily reminiscent of an AirBnb review. Manhattan Detention BnB. So there you. Closing on a totally unrelated note, prior to taking the day’s walk I met with a reporter from CBS Channel 2. They produced a news item about the Manhattan Avenue Parking Spot of Death which not only aired last night but interviewed our City Councilman, Steve Levin, about the matter. You see, he himself has been tricked by this money mill. In any case, I want to applaud him for taking the time to speak up about this and state plainly the sentiment held by a number of folks hereabouts regarding this matter. That sentiment being this space, which has no reason to be made illegal parking in the first place, should simply be made legal. Well done!

P.S.: The Brooklyn House of Detention also has reviews on Google. One is accompanied with some mighty interesting photos. The image at left is one of them. I will let your read the accompanying copy on your own but I will state right here an now it is the sort of stuff folks like our Vice President would not find the least bit amusing. Instead, I will leave you with this review which is considerably more concise and less detailed:

It’s like vegas- you only really want to be there 2 nights

Indeedy!

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Workin’ For The Weekend

April 8, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

Looks like “traffic enforcement” is at it again. On a Saturday, no less. What dedication! In any case this is an excellent opportunity to share a couple of things:

  1. Given this new parking by app thing it could be argued that the city would, could stand to make money by simply legalizing the space and generating revenue from it. However, I suspect they are rolling with the short-term strategy of hitting folks with parking tickets costing $115.00 a pop. And, as we have learned, the truly lucky folks accrue the additional costs of getting towed.
  2. A follow-up complaint to the original complaint (getting more Kafka-esque by the minute!) has been filed: DOT-331717-Z3B9

Oh, did I mention I am looking into installing a webcam so everyone can watch this banquet of bullshit unfold in real time 24/7/365? Well, I just did! Happy Saturday!!!

Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: The DOT

April 6, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 


This morning I popped out nice and early to get bagels. I noticed the Department of Transportation was afoot. Naturally my curiosity got the best of me so I checked my favorite illegal parking space for new signage. What I found should hardly be surprising…

Wanting to know what this “zone” business was about (I do not drive a car and have no intentions of doing so anytime soon), I did a spot of online research. Here’s what Patch.com has to say about it. The article in question dates from December 19, 2016:

NYC transportation officials announced Monday that within the next few weeks, New Yorkers will be able to fill any Muni-Meter between 14th and 59th streets in Manhattan via the ParkNYC app, now available for download on all app stores.

And by summer 2017, “every metered parking space in every borough” will be payable by app, the NYC Department of Transportation (DOT) announced.

The coolest part: By the time every meter is hooked up to the system, you’ll no longer have to sprint back to your car when your meter’s up. Instead, you’ll get a notification from the ParkNYC app, which will prompt you to refill the meter with your phone.

The lamest part: In order to get started, you’ll have to load your account with a minimum payment of $25…

So these “zones” have been put in place so one can pay for parking via an “app”. How very 21st century! As is being required to make a minimum payment of $25.00. Clever!

In closing I will leave you, gentle readers, with a couple stills taken from a video I shot yesterday morning at 10:22 am.

Yep…

Manhattan Avenue Parking Spot of Death Update: And Now A Word From The DOT

April 5, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

(Department of Transportation worker parking in front of 983 Manhattan Avenue so as to procure some lunch, taken April 3rd, 2017.)

As I stated in a previous update, a 311 complaint has been filed regarding this problematic parking space. Specifically, that the lines on the street and signs are not in agreement as to the legality (or, in this case, illegality) of the space in question. Well, gentle readers, this has been brought to the attention of the DOT. Specifically, the person whose jurisdiction is the signage. Yes, you just read me correctly: the person in charge of signage was contacted, not the person in charge of the markings on the street. As you can imagine this fellow does not seem to “get” what the problem is. Somewhere Franz Kafka is smiling.

And now part two!

The problem here is straightforward enough. At least to someone who is not a bureaucrat. In the interest of fostering a better understanding of the issue at hand I offer these videos taken April 3rd, 2017. One clearly shows the discrepancy, the “mixed signals” if you will, between the placement of the sign and the markings on the street. Among other things. Enjoy!

Remember folks, your choices behind the wheel matter. Today’s choice was fried chicken. Yum!

UPDATE, 10:22 am: They’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

$cam Avenue: An Update Regarding The Greenpoint Parking Spot of Death

March 31, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, WTF 



So after yesterday’s nonsense I have some information to relay. Without further ado, here it is:

  1. Our very own City Councilman has parked in this space and received a ticket. He is going to contact the Department of Transportation and have them change the lines on the street so as to clear up any ambiguity about the legality of this parking space.
  2. These tickets cost $115.00 a pop. Which brings me to…
  3. How much does the towing cost? Well this (which was gleaned from the NYPD’s own web site) should give you, gentle readers, some idea:

So let’s do the math:

  • $115 for the ticket
  • $185 for the towing
  • I am going to throw in $20 for overnight storage because it is quite likely it will take a day for the person whose car was towed to pay the ticket, etc.
  • So we are looking at a grand total of $320 folks. That’s a nice chunk of change. This is probably enough to seriously ruin someone’s day and, mind you, we are not factoring the cost of transportation to said impound facility, lost wages, etc.

Some can make the argument that the police are merely doing their job. This is a very short-sighted stance to take. The reality is the police cannot be everywhere and enforce every law all the time. They have to prioritize and enforcing this space (as illegal parking) has been made a priority. I want each and every one of you to think about this. I want you to ask yourselves why this is so (because I just spelled it out for you). Ca-CHING!

To be continued, no doubt…

A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement

March 30, 2017 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

If you happen to own a motor vehicle and find yourself needing to park it in Greenpoint listen up, you will undoubtedly find what I am about to relay of the utmost interest.

See the highlighted area above? The one which seems to be demarcated as a legally permissible parking space if one consults the lines drawn on the street? Well, it is most decidedly not legal and has become quite the revenue mill for our traffic enforcement officials. I have seen (and in one case, photographed) “meter maids” loitering nearby— in one case, for nearly twenty minutes— waiting for someone to park in this space so he or she can issue the motorist a ticket.

Before I proceed I would like to make it known why this space is illegal. Some time ago there was work conducted on the street proper. It was by Con Ed, I believe. This required moving the bus stop for the B43 and B62 approximately fifteen feet to the north (or, referencing the above photo, to the right). Given buses need a wide berth of passage this change is quite understandable and indeed necessary. The question still arises as to why the lines on the street were not changed, but we’ll table that matter.

I know what you’re thinking:

Okay, so the bus stop was moved? What’s the big deal here?

Well this is where it gets interesting, gentle readers. You see this bus stop has since been moved yet again. This time to the south. It is presently located roughly in front of our local C-Town: 953 Manhattan Avenue. I have generated a map so as to illustrate what I am talking about.

Here you can see where the original bus stop was located, versus where it is actually located. It has been moved to the next block. So of course now the question arises as to why this parking space is still illegal. I will leave this for the “authorities” to answer.

What I can tell you— because I have seen it with my own eyes and filmed it— is “traffic” has stepped up their game regarding the enforcement of this illegal parking space. They are no longer simply issuing tickets. They have started towing the vehicles outright. And, as of this morning, they are breaking into said misplaced vehicles if need be in order to tow them. Don’t take my word for it, watch for yourself. Seeing is truly believing.

bandepart1

bandepart2

Many questions crossed my mind as I watched this transpire. Foremost among them was “Is this really necessary?” No, I do not think it is. Lord only knows north Brooklyn and Greenpoint in particular have a litany of traffic-related problems which are much more urgent in nature than this. If you happen to agree, by all means please share this with any/all elected officials, “authorities”, etc., as you see fit.

Given the NYPD, and specifically the 94th Precinct, have had a spate of bad publicity lately (I am being very kind here), one would presume, hope, they would be endeavoring to foster better “community relations”. However, stuff like this (enforcing an illegal parking space whose reason for being illegal in the first place is no longer extant) does the exact opposite. Want to (further) erode the respect and trust of the community one serves? This here example is a sterling way to do it.

Seriously folks, we deserve better than this.

UPDATE, 1:05 pm: We have a complaint number! DOT-330779-H1X6

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