Greenpoint Video Du Jour: Leftovers

November 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This weekend George Diaz (of Latino Laughter renown) was kind enough to share a anecdote from his childhood with me. Those of you who have the pleasure of making George’s acquaintance probably know his tales are rarely of the Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm variety. The story I heard this Friday was no exception: it was about how a cockroach managed to crawl into his ear as a child and he had to go to a doctor to get it removed. The doctor not only extracted this critter with a pair of tweezers but also went to the trouble of stomping on it so George and his mother could see all the blood it had consumed.

As you can probably imagine the previous was not something I wanted to hear about while eating a taco. Noting my disgust George apologized. Nonetheless, for the past 48 hours I have been unable purge the previous imagery from my mind. It is now and (probably) forever seared into my memory. What’s more, it’s pretty damned gross. Probably more disgusting (although not by much) as this little bit of footage from Manhattan Avenue today. Enjoy! Bon apetit!

It would appear that we humans are not the only ones deluged with holiday leftovers.

Is it just me or is it sort of disturbing that this pigeon is (more or less) eating one of its own kind?

Miss Heather

Get Your Hanukkah On: Greenpoint Style

November 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

When one reads about a temporary worker being trampled to death by a horde of eager Walmart goers it is easy enough to forget that this is upcoming holiday season isn’t just about pommeling total strangers for a widescreen television to place under the Christmas tree. It is also the time many of us drink ourselves silly and our fellow friends of the book celebrate Hanukkah. For those of you who are among the latter and plan to engage in the previous (humanity may differ in their mode of worship but we all have one thing in common: one can only handle so much “family togetherness”) the following items might be of interest. Enjoy!

Oenophiles will undoubtedly find this item of interest: a menorah cork. Simply put, you place the cork in a wine or “any other sturdy bottle” and you’re good to go! This item can be found at none other than Fred Flare.

Fred Flare
131 Meserole Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

You can also order this item online by clicking here.

Let’s suppose for a moment that the previous item is a little too labor intensive for your taste. Procuring a wine/malt liquor/other bottle and affixing the “menorah cork” to it in the prescribed manner takes up too much of your valuable time. You want your booze and menorah in one convenient package. If so, I have some very good news.

The above item is available at T & N Wine And Liquor. I have been told it is brandy from either Armenia or Georgia. No word on whether or not it is any good. But as the Mister always says:

If it doesn’t make you blind you can always use it for paint thinner.

T & N Wine And Liquor
893 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

If anyone tries this product by all means share your review. My curiosity is killing me (but not enough so as to offer myself as a guinea pig).

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: A Splash Of Color For Black Friday

November 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From Ainslie Street.

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Ah, Greenpoint!

November 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Earlier today I made a rather fascinating discovery; when you run the search terms “drunk” and “Greenpoint” some mighty interesting things pop up on YouTube. The following are three of my more “choice” finds. Enjoy!

You know, inasmuch as people are angry at the prospect of doling out $2.50 to ride our fine city’s subways and buses I really do not mind. With “in flight” entertainment like this dude I have no qualms whatsoever with ponying up an extra fifty cents. As a matter of fact I consider money well spent.

Miss Heather

Halloween In Greenpoint

November 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday I had the pleasure dispensing fistfuls of teeth-rotting goodness to children of all ages at the junk shop. The zeal with which I took to executing this task seemed to surprise Larry da Junkman:

That’s really cute.

Me: What?
Larry: You handing out candy. You really like doing this, don’t you?
Me: Of course I do. It’s HALLOWEEN!

Who couldn’t enjoy giving the gift of refined sugar to a Jedi master as sweet as this one?

I like to call this guy “Chicken Little”.

This little Lion King’s make-up got a little discombobulated in transit.

No worries, mom repainted his whiskers and he was good as new! A curious dialog came to pass when I asked this little guy’s parents if I could take his picture.

Father: Are you going to put this online?
Me: Maybe. Probably on flickr.
Father: Do you have a web site?
Me: Yes.
Mother: Is it New York Shitty?
Me: Well actually it is.
Mother: You’re the lady who takes all the pictures!
Me: Whew! I was expecting you to say something a lot worse!

The above two photographs do not do this little fella justice. He was heart-wrenchingly adorable! But Halloween is not just about cherubic faced young ‘uns.

As you can see the guys at Papacitos* got into the Halloween spirit! The above gentleman gyrated for a good 20-30 seconds while exclaiming:

Can you see my junk?

I told him “yes” and gave him a lollipop. Very few things have the power to truly shock me anymore; this is because I was once a civil servant. That said, bipeds were not the only creatures wearing costumes today.

This poodle sported her finest fettle for the occasion.

And I even made the acquaintance of a pirate pup!

As I was handing out candy a woman I know, a bona fide Greenpoint old-timer, pulled me aside and said:

You realize a lot of these people (I was giving candy to) do not live here.

I had honestly not given the matter any thought. This is probably because I do not care.

Halloween is about dressing up, flauting the drudgery and conventions of everyday life and having fun. It is very much a collective experience¬† —not unlike Christmas or New Year’s Eve. It is— in its strange way— about sharing. I am not going to ask for proof of residency before doling out lollipops or Hershey’s Kisses to children. There was more than enough confectioneries and fun to go around. For everyone.**

I suppose this makes me a candy-giving Commie —or a lollipop pimping populist.

Make that a newly zombified lollipop pandering populist —or carnivorous Commie!

BRAINS!!!

Miss “Living Undead” Heather

P.S.: You can see more pix of Halloween on Manhattan Avenue by clicking here.

*Who have made themselves near and dear to my heart by serving up vegan breakfast tacos. Thanks guys!

**Save a CONSTRUCTION WORKER from (where else?) the Viridian who snatched a lollipop from my tray without asking and then proceeded to laugh about it with his cronies (one of whom said “Hey lady, can I suck on a lollipop?”). This chap, dear readers, was a certifiable grade “A” ASSHOLE. The least this man could have done is ASKED FIRST —but I suppose he felt “entitled” to it. Clearly he was not taught good manners like the following child (I gave a heaping helping of candy to today):

Child #1 (after I gave him a fistful of candy): I want a Hershey’s Kiss.
Child #2: You shouldn’t tell people what you want. It’s not very nice.
Miss Heather (to child #2): You my friend have very good manners. For this reason you are getting a Hershey’s kiss.

Kindness and civility go a long way folks. Or at the very least you can show me your “junk” when pandering for junk food. Grabbing shit off my candy tray is just plain RUDE.

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