Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Starter: Change You Can Believe In
Last night the Mister and I entertained a visiting friend in the East Village. One of the stops on our itinerary was the San Loco on Avenue A, as one of my best friends, Rachael, was scheduled to bar tend there. San Loco means “saint crazy” in Spanish; this is rather apropos given Rachael usually works the closing shift and as a result interfaces with— how should I say— the more eccentric elements to be found in the East Village. Whenever we meet up she always has a “goodie bag” of stuff she has collected and many a good story to tell.
This evening was no exception— what’s more I learned about a previously unknown candidate in the Mayoral race: Albert Duffy.
But he prefers to be called the “Bloomberg Bomb”. I think. It’s sort of hard to tell:
As your mayor, I will always protect my constituent’s like all like all N.Y.C. BOROUGH presidents, Council members and LAW MAKER’s. Who all have thier (sic) hands DEEP in my POCKETS. Me and my “bluBillion Dollar Blue Boys “own and control ALBANY and will continue to manipulate, ABUSE and DEMORALIZE every sector of society. Especially the personnel of the FDNY/NYPD. Call me a “Bloomberg BOMB”!…
On the other side of this flier (both of which can be seen in larger format by clicking on the the above or following image) is a tome entitled “If I Were Mayor of New York City”) which outlines Mr. Duffy’s/The New American Freedom Party Are all mentally ill’s platform for reform.
My favorite passages are as follows:
We would organize a committee to amend the Constitution to reward anyone who gives back to our country by joining our military. We would guarantee that if anyone dedicates themselves for the safety and protection of our freedom, and becomes disabled, all their needs will be taken care of. Like free medical/hospitalization, employment training, job placement opportunities, adequate housing and free public transportation.
It would appear that this chap has not heard of the Veteran’s Association. Then again, maybe he has: it’s not like they have gotten much positive publicity of late. As for the matter of public transportation, our mayoral aspirant has some rather interesting ideas on that front:
We would organize a committee to design and construct a (free) Monorail System that will replace the old failing system that we presently depend upon.
And lastly, the coup de grâce:
We would organize a committee to amend smoker’s rights and designate smoking areas in all NYC Irish Pubs, Taverns and Restaurants. (Ed. Note: emphasis mine)Â If you don’t like it? Go outside.
If this sounds like the kind of change you want to see in our fair city come November, dear readers, you should note that Mr. Duffy was thoughtful enough to provide a bank account number for interested donors at the end of his mission statement. The more eagle-eyed among you might have also noticed that this is “Part 1” of his xerographic campaign for mayor. This would suggest there will be a “Part 2” and maybe even a “Part 3”.
I can hardly wait.
Miss Heather
Manhattan Photos Du Jour: Day Trip Diary
As I have mentioned previously the Mister has taken two weeks vacation. Yesterday we went to the birthplace of Theodore Roosevelt. This is not my idea of how to celebrate one’s birthday but then again it wasn’t my birthday that was being celebrated. Anyhoo, afterward we proceeded to walk to Chinatown. Follows is a slide show featuring some highlights from our walk. Enjoy!
Anybody out there know who this guy is? I ask because finding myself between him and a horde of very excited teenage girls (and one older gentleman wearing bermuda shorts) was mildly terrifying.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Results
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
When Laura Hofmann asked Mister Heather to sign a petition to get Evan Thies on the ballot a couple months ago he gladly obliged.
As a result we have been receiving his campaign propaganda ever since. Like this postcard…
…which our cat, Bodhi, saw fit to annotate with his vomitus. As his name indicates, Bodhi is a very wise tabby. Greenpoint born and raised. This is what I call “results”!
I mention the previous anecdote because this evening I received a call from one of Evan Thies’s merry elves on my landline. This is curious for a number of reasons, among them:
- Chez Shitty’s landline is under Mister Heather’s name, not mine.
- It is unlisted.
- The caller/shill asked for me specifically. How did this chap know this phone number, indeed, belonged to me? I’m guessing OSA or GWAPP gave it to him.
In any case, this chap asked me what my feelings about Evan Thies were. I replied:
Negative.
To wit he asked:
Why?
I replied:
Among other things the fact he resigned from CB1 before the Broadway Triangle vote. He should have stayed on, voted and explained why he voted for or against this plan. As distasteful as the choice was either way.
Then I got a song and dance about how Thies’s resignation was ill-timed, e.g.; he didn’t know it would coincide with the Broadway Triangle vote. How he was against the Broadway Triangle plan, etc. I made it known, albeit politely, that I thought his argument was bullshit, he was not going to change my mind and I have other things to do. That brought this unsolicited phone call to a merciful end.
Closing thoughts (for Evan Thies’s campaign wonks/worker bees):
- Touting your years as David Yassky’s “Chief of Staff” is a minus, not a plus.
- I don’t care who you got my phone number from: do not call me. Especially in the evening. Per *69 you called from 1 (646) 594-4545 at 7:32 p.m. I have every intention of calling this number tomorrow— you have wasted my time, I want to return the favor. It’s better to give than receive.
- With Thiesisms like this (regarding campaign contributions he received from Dean Palin and family, who plans to build a 40 story tower at the end of India Street. Dean can be seen hamming it up for the camera with the Executive Director of OSA and David Yassky here):
Thanks for your email–I’d hate for you to think that I was keeping anything from you. I do not support a 40-story tower there and I said as much at the last debate and during community board discussions on the project, after which, as you probably know, we approved the proposal unanimously with suggested changes.
I do, however, think that the affordable housing component of the project is good, and that a smaller version of the development would be the best case scenario.
I’ve known Dean for a while now, and I think he will work with us on this–but we have to keep at it throughout the land use process.
I cannot, with clear conscience, vote for you Evan. You’re David Yassky 2.0. What’s more, when I get unsolicited phone calls from your campaign workers at dinnertime it pisses me off. Big time. Hence why I wrote this post and relegated you to the “asshole” category on my humble site.
Mazel tov!
Miss Heather
P.S.: The Mister and I are still for Jo Anne Simon. There is no perfect candidate in this race. At least Ms. Simon was frank and didn’t bullshit me when I met her last week. I liked her. What’s more, her workers don’t call me while I’m having dinner.
UPDATE, August 14, 2009; 12:20: I just received a prank call from Mister Heather. As soon as I picked up the phone he said “This is the David Yassky campaign”. I hung up.
Chinatown Photo Du Jour: Pest Control
Filed under: Manhattan
From East Broadway.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Curb Your…
This item hails from an unidentified location in Manhattan and was captured by Greenpoint’s very own Bitchcakes, who writes:
I saw this sign and thought of you…
Great find!
Speaking of things curbed, the upcoming week’s worth of offerings on New York Shitty will in all probability be lite. Today none other than Ma and Pa Heather will be honoring our fair city with a visit! Needless to say I will be very busy showing them all the local scenic points of interest (like the Shit Tits and the Newtown Creek Nature Walk!) but will take the time to post when the opportunity presents itself. Besides, sometimes even bloggers need a vacation! 😉
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Open Letter To IDT
This offering comes from a Harlem resident who would prefer to remain anonymous. We’ll call him/her MS:
On Wednesday, 4/15/09, after being asked to leave, your IDT Agents refused to leave my building, located at [West Harlem address here]. They remained in the building after over 25 minutes of being asked to leave, even though I clarified I was an owner. They also refused to stop bothering my elderly neighbors, after being asked to do so. Additionally they refused to give me a phone number or phone numbers to allow me to call a supervisor to assist in asking them to leave. Then I took out my video camera.
There were two female agents, once wore a pink shirt under her coat and the other a gray beret. The agent in the pink shirt said her brother was her boss and he wouldn’t like it if she gave out his phone number, nor could I use her phone and use her minutes. (I offered her $5 to use her phone, but that offer was refused.) Your agents stated I could not make them leave even if I was an owner in the building because someone on the 4th floor buzzed them in. I said if they are guests of that person, they are now out of their apartment, so they need to leave my building. The girl in the beret said something like: Oh it’s your building, yeah right. And I clarified again, that I am an owner in the building and I want them to leave immediately. They said that the last building they were just in someone also called the police and that the police came and said they were allowed to be there. That of course is not true.
After asking the agents to leave for over 10 minutes, I called my super at 1:29pm hoping a man’s presence would convince the agents to leave but he was not available. I then called IDT at 1:37pm @877-887-6866 and they said they could not call off their agents, and that I’d have to call the police. At 1:41pm I called 311 who transferred me to 911 because your agents were trespassing.
They continued door-to-door and I told each neighbor I saw that I have asked these agents to leave and that I called the police. One agent had already convinced my elderly neighbor to bring them their Con Ed bill and I also told that neighbor I had called the police.
Your agents pretended they called the police to report me and then they began knocking on doors on my first floor, and that is when I went to get my video camera. When officers from the 30th Precinct arrived they said they had received my call but had not received a call from your agents.
Here is the video that I put on youtube, as you will see, per request of your agent Sheena (excised) #6706306.
So far I’ve submitted it to Channel 7(“7 on Your Side”), Fox (“Shame, Shame, Shame”), The Consumerist, The Gothamist, Curbed, NYC bloggers/websites (if they have articles about problems with your agents), and the NYS Public Service Commission.
Under § 140.05 of the New York Penal Law, “[a] person is guilty of trespass when he knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in or upon premises.”
If indeed these are legitimate agents from your company, they have not represented you well. This is the third time in a few weeks your agents have entered my building and have gone to door-to-door. Please stop sending your agents to Harlem.
And north Brooklyn too for that matter. This person’s experience with IDT’s “professionals” is not terribly unlike a number I have had. When asked to leave they just laugh. This is not a matter of mere youthful impertinence. It is OBNOXIOUS— and constitutes trespassing. Simple as that.
Miss Heather
Great Moments In Real Estate Advertising: Pardon Our Appearance
Filed under: New York City
One thing that always gives me a chuckle is some of the florid and occasionally downright pompous ad copy our real estate friends use to describe their product. Take the following, for example.
Did I just read ECO-INDULGENT?
I said to Mister Heather as I walked by this site. To wit he noted that getting gold certification was no small achievement. I assured him that I too thought this was pretty cool. BUT…
when there’s a rather large SUV idling directly underneath said signage touting eco-friendliness it sort of subverts the message, if you know what I mean.
New York City Back In The Day
Filed under: New York City
Yesterday, March 2nd, my friend (and fellow Greenpointer) at Mobile Pictures sagely observed:
…I was thinking about how all of the southern states must be shut down and everyone is at home watching the Golden Girls or the Price Is Right, while us New Yorker keep trudging right along. Sigh.
I suppose inclement weather is our burden— as “Yankees”— to bear. But as this photograph from fifty years ago clearly attests we New Yorkers don’t let a little (or a lot of) fluffy stuff get us down. Not only do we endeavor to persevere but we look damned stylish to boot!
Miss Heather
Meet Jonny
Since the weather (all things considered) was downright gorgeous yesterday the Mister and I headed down to PS9 to meet a few of the cats from Empty Cages Collective.
The one that stole my heart above all others (and this is no small achievement— there were many a heart stealer to be had*) was this guy. His name is Jonny and he was rescued from the euthanasia list at the Center for Animal Care and Control. His crime? Having Feline Leukemia. The sad reality is any cat (or kitten) who is sick be it a mere cold, upper respiratory infection, Feline Leukemia or F.I.V. gets V.I.P. treatment at the CACC when it comes to joining this club. One which they (more often than not) enter and never leave.
But it is not the purpose of this post to be grim. There are a number of seemingly little things you can do to stop this from happening. Yes, I am asking that you “get involved” by…
- learning more about trap, neuter and return and volunteering at your local feral cat colony.
- Spay and neutering your pets. You want to end “Euth lists” (as they call them)? This is the way to do it!
- Volunteering at your local animal shelter…
- and perhaps, taking in a cat with special needs in your home.
Adopting a cat with Feline Leukemia is not for everyone. They cannot mix with “non-positive cats” as the disease is spread by saliva. In addition there are additional responsibilities that come with having a cat living with Feline Leukemia. The previous is not to suggest, however, that they cannot live long healthy lives or give lots of love. As you will see in this video of Jonny. Be sure to turn up the volume and listen to his crazy purr— I’ve never heard anything like it in my life!
Although someone has apparently filled out an application to adopt this wonderful dude nothing has been set in stone, so to speak. What’s more, he has lots of fellow Empty Cage cats who would very much like to call your home their own. You can meet them by clicking here.
Miss Heather
*A few of whom you can see by licking here!
Presenting The Pee Pee Phone
Filed under: Area 51
Yesterday I shared with you the good news about Shitfone. Today I introduce to you for your reading pleasure a new(ish) blog from the East Village entitled Slum Goddess. In her latest installment our heroine waxes poetic about the “Pee Pee Phone”. S.G. writes:
These lovely images are of The Pee Phone located by Ray’s Candy Store on the corner of Avenue A and 7th street. This phone booth reflects the very definition of decadence. I have observed all kinds of craziness happening in and about this phone. For one thing, everyone and their mother pees on it. Sometimes they purposely pee on the receiver just for an added bonus…
Yup, and it only gets better.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.