Quicklink: A Story To Tell

screencapThis tome was brought to my attention by a fellow named Richard. Richard is a resident of Lawrence, Kansas. This Letter to the Powers That Be, not surprisingly, pertains to matters in Lawrence, Kansas. However, while reading this tome more than one community hereabouts— and the non/not-for-profit organizations (which purport to act as a “voice”/”advocate” for the aforementioned communities) came to mind.  I do not think I need to list/name the previous here, gentle readers. We know them.*

Follows is an excerpt from this essay so as the pique your interest:

…I have been long in forming my opinion of the Cultural Arts District and the 9th Street Corridor.  When the pros and cons of the issue are laid across a scale, I find myself on the side of favor.  I am in support of the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor in East Lawrence.  I am excited at the prospect of renewal and repair that the Cultural District designation dollars can bring.  I want new sidewalks and safer lighting and renovated limestone curbs and bricks in my streets.  I want the businesses in my neighborhood to thrive and prosper and have the funds to reinvest in my community.  I want an economic base that can support an East Lawrence or Downtown grocery store. I want my daughters to grow up in a vibrant, thriving neighborhood that supports the arts and creativity.  I am personally invested in positive outcomes for the Cultural Arts District. 

And yet…

There remains a sense of unease when I think about what will happen as the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor develop.  I cannot shake the feeling of anxiety, of foreboding, of “ick” in my belly and bad smell wrinkle in my nose.  And this time, it isn’t a downdraft from the wastewater treatment plant (Emphasis mine— Ed. Note) or the river.  It’s the aftertaste of cultural co-option.  But what does that mean, you say?  I can’t explain it to you without the help of Alice Walker.  Here’s where the story comes in… 

You can— no, make that should— read this essay in its entirety by clicking here. Pass it along. Who knows? Maybe it’ll inspire someone (else) in our fair burgh/city to speak up?

*Hence why I found this excerpt of Adam “GWAPP Advisory Board”  Perlmutter’s biography so fascinating:

Adam is a currently lawyer for Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn opposing the Atlantic Yards project …

Speaking as a resident of Greenpoint for fourteen years now who knows quite a few bloggers— bloggers who have taken a keen interest in Atlantic Yards, no less— I have not once heard his name mentioned. What’s more, someone closely connected with DDDB confirmed my suspicions:

He isn’t in the employ and never was.  He volunteered with DDDB  about 9 years ago and helped them find their great lawyer Matt Brinckerhoff  – but he’s not done anything with them for about 7 years.

Hmm…

“About” seven years ago Mr. Perlumutter signed off on the by-laws of Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn.

Note the “Treasurer”. It is none other than Steve “Brooklyn Beer/I loves me some Atlantic Yards” Hindy himself.

Double hmm…

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Al Fresco Living

August 3, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11385, Feral Furniture, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens 

sofa4nys

sofa3nys

sofa2nys

This splendid specimen (which I have learned has since been removed— too bad as it is perfect for enjoying this unseasonably mild weather) hails from Starr Street and Woodward Avenue and comes courtesy of Queens Crap. Very nice!

Now For Rent In Ridgewood…

November 19, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11385, BAD ASS, Queens, Ridgewood, Ridgewood Queens, Wow, WTF 

Cl2bedroom

Living Room with neon and bar stools

Hall of mirrors

bitchin kitchen!

This. I have tried— and tried— to find the words to describe what you have just seen. Thankfully the owner of this apartment has been lavish with the photo-documentation. What these pictures have to say is way more than the proverbial 1,000 words. Note “the value-added” in the manner of a disco ball (and what appears to be laundry) hanging in the living room. Simply magnificent! Best to simply check out this listing check out the screengrabs and behold the, um, glory for yourself.  You will not be disappointed!

Special props go out to Diana Gee for stumbling upon this gem. Simply amazing.

UPDATE, 10:19 pm: For shits and giggles I emailed our landlord informing him that we were breaking our lease because we found our dream home in Ridgewood. Follows is his reply:

email

 

Very astute observation. As you can plainly see, gentle readers, some landlords do have a sense of humor. Conclusion: if this apartment has a soundtrack (and a gnarly HiFI system is undoubtedly among its manifold amenities) it would be something by the Eagles. Or better yet this:

Honorable mention: the Miami Vice theme song.

UPDATE, November 20th, 2013: It has been brought to my attention that if one “Googles” the phone numbers listed on this advert, some mighty interesting results come up. Follows is yours truly’s personal favorite.

Millionaires Palace>

This listing truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Cheers!

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: New York Post

NYPostNYS

Yes Sir: there are few things scarier than the New York Post. Well done!

(From Bleecker Street.)

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Another One

September 4, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11237, 11385, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Ridgewood, Ridgewood Queens 

vito063

My tipster writes:

It’s gotten to the point that I start thinking about what’s waiting for me in my mailbox when I am on the train. What will I do next Wednesday?

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Howdy Neighbor!

September 3, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11237, 11385, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Ridgewood, Ridgewood Queens 

Howdy Neighbor

 

Choice quote:

To improve city services in our neighborhoods and bring needed city resources into our community, I have decided to run for city council.

It has been noted by my tipster (the recipient of this missive) that Mr. Lopez was never, in fact his/her Assemblyman. That distinction goes to Ms. Cathy Nolan. Whoops.

In any case this is the stuff night terrors are made of folks…

There’s an old ugly lech in the neighborhood, an old ugly lech is a neighbor…Would you be mine, could you be mine…won’t you be my intern?

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: A Candidate For The People?

August 21, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11237, 11385, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Ridgewood, Ridgewood Queens 

mailerpage1

Mailerpage2

Here’s the latest bit of campaign literature hilarity courtesy of Vito “Gropez” Lopez. Now he is apparently the “people” candidate. Well, I suppose if one does not consider women to be people this could work. I suppose this is why Mr. Gropez thinks $330,000 worth of fines for sexual harassment is excessive and intends to fight it in court

From The New York Shitty Inbox: More From Ridgewood

Gropez Mailer 1

Gropez Mailer 2

I arrived home from today’s peregrinations to find another piece of campaign “literature” from Vito “Gropez” Lopez in my inbox. Here’s what my tipster had to say about it:

The latest from Vito. Too bad there’s no reference anywhere to any of these events actually happening.

New York Shitty analysis:

medianincomeinbushwick

Urban Artifact: Stockholm Street

June 22, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11385, Ridgewood, Ridgewood Queens, Urban Artifact 

Today the Mister and I sojourned to visit a friend of ours in Ridegwood. As it would happen, said friend’s birthday is tomorrow and she has a slew of kittens up for adoption. We brought a treat and she treated us to some kitten time. A more than fair exchange if you ask me. But we’ll get into the latter later.* Anyhoo, as we were walking to this person’s home we encountered this:

stockholmstreet

Naturally I had to look at it.

script

A script. The Mister told me to put it back. I flat-out refused. First off: it was abandoned. Secondly: the content speaks for itself. Lastly: as a creative soul cum urban anthropologist I find it fascinating. When I arrived back at Chez Shitty and further examined my find, it got even more interesting…

scripts

The author of this endeavor appears to be a young man named Derrick. He has enlisted a few lady friends to make this vignette happen. I envision a future Joe Francis or perhaps even a Russ Meyer in the making!

*Kittens: of a litter of no less than nine lives, seven are left.

magnificent7NYS

They’re really cute too. Two have bobtails!

Any/all who are interested in meeting these ladies and gentleman (who are around 9 weeks old) should contact their keeper/caretaker via email at: nutrichris (at) rcn (dot) com. Tell ’em Heather sent you.

Urban Artifact: All Apologies

manties

As spotted in Ridgewood yesterday evening. One can only imagine how the discarded/”free range” pair of manties factor into this…

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