From The New York Shitty Inbox: More Ado About Brown Water

May 24, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A person we’ll call J writes (in regards to this post): The ‘brown’ stuff was most likely rust.

 I emailed Lincoln Restler at your suggestion and got essentially the same answer posted in your followup but with this additional nugget: “DEP crews went out early this morning to flush the system; there was no health risk at any time.” 
Who knew it was safe to drink rust?
I was at the laundromat at Green St and Manhattan Ave last night attempting to do laundry but luckily was warned off by a few upset women with stained clothes.
The MA state government has a brief description of this somewhat common occurrence (and some useful tips for those whose clothes were stained):
“Rusty water occurs from sediment in the pipes or rust from the inside walls of the water mains.The rust can be disturbed and temporarily suspended in water with unusual water flows from water main breaks or maintenance or by flushing of a hydrant. This discolored water is not a health threat. When the water is discolored it is recommended to either not wash laundry or to use a rust stain remover or regular detergent but not chlorine bleach as it will react with the iron to form a permanent stain.

New York Shitty Day Ender: 14 Bayard Street

(Or: Rapunzel Special)

Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):

It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.

Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!

He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:

I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!

And so we did.

Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:

You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ’em!

To wit Triborough presciently replied:

Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?

Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!

UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!

Point here, click and see for yourself!

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