From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Sunset On Black Friday

November 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

As the Mister and I were knocking around Jackson Heights yesterday we noticed the absolutely breathtaking sunset. We were not able to get a photograph of it. Thankfully Greenpoint’s very own mugsniffer did. He writes:

View from my Greenpoint apartment, now marred by the bulky EDGE building along the waterfront.

Regardless it’s a damned nice photo. You can see more great Greenpoint imagery a la mugsniffer by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: A Splash Of Color For Black Friday

November 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From Ainslie Street.

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Stocking Stuffers Of The Fur Kind!

November 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

’nuff said!

Miss Heather

A Little Holiday Shopping

November 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

After spending at least five hours in the kitchen yesterday and knowing full well I will be doing the same today suffice it to say yours truly is more than a little unmotivated. In any case follows are few upcoming holiday shopping events which might be of interest.

I have been long remiss in giving Tommy and Roy (AKA: the Alter boys) a shout out. Today I wish to correct this egregious oversight on my part by passing along the deets about their upcoming “Thanksgiving Weekend Sale”. And oh yeah, pointing out that I am totally in love with this item which I found on their web site. Check it out!

20% Off Sale At Alter
November 28-30th, 2008
140 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

This item comes courtesy of Bitchcakes. Cafe Grumpy will be hosting another “Hearts & Crafts” affair this holiday season. Hopefully I’ll make it to this one. If the wares for sale are even a fraction as nifty as their flier I am certain I will NOT be disappointed!

Hearts & Crafts Affair
December 6 & 7, 2008, Noon – 6:00 p.m.
Cafe Grumpy

193 Meserole Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

theheartsandcraftsaffair (at) hotmail (dot) com

But back to events I have attended in previous years.

I purchased some incredibly fun items last year’s holiday craft fair. I will probably do so again this year. Take my word for it: this event is worth schlepping over to 195 Morgan Avenue.

Handmade Holiday Craft Fair
December 7, 2008, Noon-7:00 p.m.
3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11237

Last up, the Gift On Grand will be throwing another giftstravaganza at Secret Project Robot. My advice about this event: ARRIVE EARLY. It gets packed.

Secret Santa Project
December 13, 2008, 11:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Secret Project Robot
210 Kent Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Now back to the kitchen I go…

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like X-Mas!

November 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Kent Avenue, Williamsburg.

Lorimer Street, Greenpoint.

I would like to advise my fellow north Brooklynites not to overindulge this upcoming turkey day. The eyes in the Stuy will be watching us.

Miss Heather

Promising New Brooklyn Blog Of The Year…

November 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Park Slope 

and perhaps this decade.

Yesterday I was busy doing what many of you, dear readers, have probably been engaged in: preparing for Thanksgiving. Thankfully I had some time to moderate comments this evening and after doing so I noticed a most curious incoming link:

Naturally I was all over this like a bedbug on a Greenpoint mattress. It’s not that I want to hate Park Slope or anything —although to be fair I kind of do. It’s just that the place is so damned weird. To my little Greenpoint eye it’s sort of like Levittown and The Stepford Wives got together and built an enclave in Brooklyn. With double-wide strollers and wifi.

Let’s consider the latter most advertisement for a moment, shall we? I seriously doubt anyone in Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Bushwick or Bedford-Stuyvesant would have to troll the webs in search of cockroaches. Just last week I watched one of our cats eviscerate one such creature in our kitchen. He was considerate enough to eat it afterwards. I don’t think it measured 1 1/2 inches though. What is Lee getting at here? Is waiting for the G train too much of a bother? Are Greenpoint cockroaches not good enough for him?!?

Size queen.

This is the latest entry. For those of you who are wondering follows are a few of the Facebook groups which F.I.P.S. has unearthed which hail from the Slope that is Park:

*New Park Slope Ladies Funtime Goodtimes Group (8 members)
*You Know You’re From Park Slope When… (426 members)
*Park Slope Ultimate Frisbee League (PSUFL) (54 members)
*The Inevitable Damnation of Park Slope (25 members)
*Ive (sic) Burned in Park Slope dis Summer (17 members)
*I Am Suspended from The Park Slope Food Coop (7 members)
*Get the NY Times To Shut Up About Park Slope Already (4 members)
*Dem Slope Boyz (a Park Slope Frat!!!) (request to join)

Yup. If the first three days Fucked In Park Slope has been in publication are any indication, I will be an avid reader for a very, very long time. Now if you don’t mind some cockroaches and I have a date with a can of RAID.

Miss Heather

Boobification Photos du Jour: Election Day Special

November 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

As some of you might have noticed, today I got up at some ungodly hour (7:11 a.m.) so I could get to our polling station bright and early. The upshot of doing so was that I got in and out very quickly. The down shot was I was wide awake and had time on my hands. A. LOT. OF. TIME. After some thought I decided this was the perfect day to dust off my rack and while away some time with a little boobifying. Follows are the results. Enjoy!

American Playground, Greenpoint

I like to call this one “Swing Tits”. I have little doubt that if I had pulled this off in Park Slope or the Carroll Street Playground I would probably be in jail right now.

Berry Street, Williamsburg

While I am on the subject of children, has anyone noticed how damned many kids there are in Williamsburg nowadays. Seriously, it’s an epidemic or something. I say this because I had to glare at one fresh-faced young ‘un (her mother was on a cell phone) until she deduced I did not want her hanging around while I did this. NOTE TO PARENTS: you do not want me to raise your child for you. Watch your damned kids, already!

Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg

TITS AHOY!

Nobody touches my Lucky Charms!

North 1st Street, Williamsburg

An interesting exchange came to pass between yours truly and a nearby construction worker over this one.

That’s not very nice.

He said. To wit I turned around, smiled and replied:

“Nice” doesn’t have a damned thing to do with it.

Miss Heather

A Revue Of Williamsburg Pay Phones

April 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11206, 11211, Williamsburg 

It has been awhile since I indulged my fixation for maltreated public pay phones. Today I will usher in the weekend with a few new finds from Williamsburg.

South 4th Street

I am quickly learning that this is a pretty common example of pay phone abuse, e.g; the receiver is broken into two pieces. I like to call these “danglers”.

Union Avenue

The person responsible for this devious bit of pay phone chicanery has presented us with a poser. Those who are lucky enough to approach this pay phone from the north can quickly ascertain its lack of functionality. Everyone else is not so fortunate. Caveat emptor.

Metropolitan Avenue

I am fascinated by the number of pay phones whose receivers are simply ripped off. Are these collectible? Is there an underground community of public pay phone receiver fetishists in New York City? If so, I hope they use plenty of disinfectant.

Speaking of prophylaxis, be sure to pack a little protection before you give this person a ring. From your cell phone, of course.

Miss Heather

More Harassment Courtesy of the N.Y.P.D.

Last night I approved a series of comments regarding my recent interaction with New York’s Finest. Among them was this turd posted by “MASKEDMAN”:

Ahhh Miss Heather
But if your house was broken into by someone who had been casing your neighborhood, so upset you would be at the Police Department for not doing there job.
How you would say they were at a donut shop or such, instead of properly investigating a 911 call of a suspicious person.
You say “Was I dressed in a manner that would be construed as menacing? How would the police know that? Because if they thought that, they would be profiling ooohhhh and just think of the story you would have then!!!!
Give the Officers a break really.

To wit I replied:

I have a better idea: they should cut us a break and (as I said in the comment previous to yours) go after real criminals.

It’s easy to criticize when you have not had an experience like mine and I hope you never do. Your cynicism saddens me. Nonetheless, I wish you happy and healthy holiday season.

“MASKEDMAN” got diarrhea of the mouth— or would that be of the keyboard? Either way it is fear-mongering bullshit:

I find it very funny
People riding their bicycles on the sidewalk, people drinking in public. all against the law.
How can you be upset about getting a summons for beaking ther law?
Don’t know if anyone has kids, but have you ever tried to walk on the sidewalk with a stroller while bicycles wiz by you it’s not fun.
Laws are there for a reason, if you want to play, you have to pay my friends.
Oh how everyone would complain if they were sleeping, and some people were outside drinking beers and making noise keeping them up. But I’m sure you weren’t making any noise, right?
Maybe the cops should just do NOTHING.see how you like it then.

Cut you a break for what Miss Heather? Just don’t investigate the complaint. You can’t be serious

Thinking this guy was just some angry jerk-off, I humored him:

If you are going to be abusive, Maskedman I am going to revoke your account. I have gone through enough hell this week. I am the victim in this situation. Not you and certainly not the NYPD. Simple as that.

Here is his piquant reply:

Well Miss Heather, I’m sorry you took me as abusive, I was simply asking a question and not trying to be abusive.
But, if you think that is abuse, NOW I can understand why simple questions by the Police to understand your actions causes you to call the Officer names like Barney Fife. You’re way too sensitive.
By the way, you should really THANK the Police for the job they have done there in the 94 Pct. THEY are the reason you can walk around that precinct looking at decorations, instaed of looking at hookers, pimps and drug dealers (as it was years ago). But instead you get mad at them for simply doing their job.
Victim? Victim of what?
You really have to think about this Miss Heather.

PS Please don’t assume you know me, or know my experiences, as I quote you “when you have not had an experience like mine”. I was pulled over by the Police all the time when I first started driving because I looked so young. They would pull me over, ask me for ID, question me, then send me on my way. I didn’t mind, ya know why? because I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I had NOTHING to worry about and they were just doing their job. Have a very Merry Christmas Miss Heather, and enjoy your New Year.

I did “think” about this. I also looked up “MASKEDMAN’S” I.P. address. Guess what? He and the N.Y.P.D. are one and the same:


“MASKEDMAN” writes:

Please don’t assume you know me, or know my experiences…

The sentiment is mutual: I do not want you to know me or my experiences. Ever read the Bill of Rights “MASKEDMAN”? I suspect you haven’t so here it is via Wikipedia:

The Preamble to the Bill of Rights

Congress of the United States begun and held at the City of New York, on Wednesday the fourth of March, one thousand seven hundred and eighty nine.

The Conventions of a number of the States, having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government, will best ensure the beneficent ends of its institution.

RESOLVED by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, two thirds of both Houses concurring, that the following Articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States, all, or any of which Articles, when ratified by three fourths of the said Legislatures, to be valid to all intents and purposes, as part of the said Constitution; viz.

ARTICLES in addition to, and Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, proposed by Congress, and ratified by the Legislatures of the several States, pursuant to the fifth Article of the original Constitution.

First Amendment: Establishment clause, freedom of religion, speech, and press, and peaceable assembly as well as the right to petition the government. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Second Amendment:
Right to keep and bear arms. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Third Amendment: Protection from quartering of troops. No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Fourth Amendment:
Protection from unreasonable search and seizure. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Fifth Amendment: Due process, double jeopardy, self-incrimination, eminent domain. No person shall be held to answer for any capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Sixth Amendment: Trial by jury and other rights of the accused. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.

Seventh Amendment: Civil trial by jury. In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Eighth Amendment
: Prohibition of excessive bail, as well as cruel and unusual punishment. Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Ninth Amendment: Protection of rights not specifically enumerated in the Bill of Rights. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Tenth Amendment: Powers of states and people. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Now that my history lesson is over, I’ll tell you something: I forwarded “MASKEDMAN’s” IP address to a lot of people. Here’s what one anonymous tipster had to say:

Good for you for putting word out.

I think he is probably harmless — the kind of guy who won’t hear anything critical about the police force. Interesting, though, that he is spending considerable amounts of time reading and posting to blogs from his office.

Have you seen this? The NYPD censoring this Wikipedia page with more or less the same IP info and location. (They also apparently notified the NYTimes–see Wiki comments.)

also naming Sara Berger & male colleague (albeit a different one) in NDSS room 701
maybe Sarah and the lads are just “techs.” But the room appears to be the “we watch the internet” room. Who knew?

I guess it’s probable that’s the location of NYPD’s IT and they’re not really in room 701.
It still raises the question of why maskedman isn’t doing some work.

Isn’t it nice to know your tax dollars are paying “MASKEDMAN” to surf the Internet and harass civilians who have the temerity to stand up for themselves? The timing of “MASKEDMAN’s” missives is also interesting: they came to pass after a lot of negative press via the ‘blogosphere’ and on THE SAME DAY Channel 12 contacted the 94 Precinct regarding my “incident”.

Miss Heather

Disgruntled Williamsburg Parent Changes Tactics…

but his motivations/inducements are more or less the same.

Looking for an apartment…

This, his latest attempt, is subtle…

NORTH Greenpoint

and yet, more desperate. Maybe you, my fellow Greenpointers, can open your hearts and sublet your closet, tool shed or parking space so “John’s” precious children can receive a better education? One their father clearly did not receive: reading, writing, critical thinking, and ethics:

I need to move my two children from an otherwise great location in Williamsburg. but where They currently attend a dismally performing school and I wish have them to attend the school designated for this neighborhood (annotated: GreenPoint). To this end I am prepared to sacrifice as above or pay $$ to anyone who can help effect this (my latest attempt to bribe my children into a better performing school in a less “great” location).

Miss Heather’s mind is a terrible thing to waste. Especially when forced to read and correct the aforementioned drech while waiting to check out at The Garden while not wasted (intoxication makes illiteracy coupled with entitlement go down better for yours truly).

The quality of “North GreenPoint’s” schools is well known. To Greenpointers and one Gowanus Lounge commenter anyway:

why is he doing this now – didn’t do his homework before moving house?

The information that Greenpoint’s two schools were high performing and Williamsburg’s were not was already freely available before the grading.

Clearly John did NOT do his homework. Given this gent’s persistence, it begs one to wonder how many more concerned Williamsburg parents will try to lie/cheat/bribe their way into Greenpoint’s public schools.

Miss Heather

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