Chewing Karl Fischer’s Chocolate*

August 13, 2007 by
Filed under: Area 51 

Yesterday I had an epiphany. I was walking along Driggs Avenue and stopped to look at Karl Fischer Row. Then it hit me: that building looks like R2-D2. I am not talking about the building with the Son of Samesque symbol on it. I am talking about its neighbor: the one that looks like a trash compactor.

Karl Fischer Row

Intrigued, I went in for a closer look. That’s when I found this Adonis basking in the glory that is living in a “young”, “hip” and —let us not forget “ARTSY” neighborhood.

Help me Karl Fischer

What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension, HOW LIKE A GOD.

After laughing my ass off, I looked up.

R2D2

Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Miss Heather: (with a small wave of my hand) You don’t need to see her identification.
Stormtrooper: We don’t need to see her identification.
Miss Heather: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.
Miss Heather: She can go about her business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Miss Heather: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along… move along.
Miss Heather: Oh yeah, put a goddamn shirt on already!
Stormtrooper:
(to McCarren Park Adonis) PUT A GODDAMN SHIRT ON ALREADY!

Don’t let the slick advertisements fool you. The above chap is the clientele base for these condos, not attractive 20-somethings. About 20 feet away from this sexy beast was another hexagenarian chap doing Tai Chi or some other kind of Karate Kid shit. Mercifully, he elected to wear a shirt. THANK GOD.

Miss Heather

*This is a Butthole Surfers reference. Anyone know what it is? ;)

Comments

4 Comments on Chewing Karl Fischer’s Chocolate*

  1. addrobinson on Mon, 13th Aug 2007 11:54 am
  2. #1- What cha doing?
    #2 – Chewing Chocolate
    #1 – Where’d ya get it?
    #2 – Doggie Dropped it.
    #1 – Carry on.

  3. d on Mon, 13th Aug 2007 4:22 pm
  4. i can see those from my bathroom window. it’s horrifying.

  5. missheather on Mon, 13th Aug 2007 7:37 pm
  6. addrobinson: featuring the incomparable Dennis Hopper no less! If I had a prize worth giving you, I would. Although I prefer “Psychic, Powerless, Another Man’s Sac”, “Creamed Corn” or “Locust Abortion Technician”, this album isn’t too bad.

    d: A couple months ago I bumped into an ex-boyfriend of mine. He lives on Withers Street. We had not spoken in 4 years. One of the first things out of his mouth was how shitty it was to lose his view of Manhattan and have it replaced with this drech. If you think the buildings are bad, just wait ’til you meet the tenants.

    I can’t wait to meet my new neighbors at 110 Green. Their ample parking to my hatred of vehicular traffic, their concierge services to my belief that anyone who lives in Greenpoint and demands a concierge only wants his/her ego jerked off, etc., I am certain we will have lots to talk about.

  7. laterain on Tue, 14th Aug 2007 2:41 pm
  8. I used to know a guy who was a big Butthole Surfers fan. Did they really call themselves “buttheads”?

    The scary thing is, when these upscale condos move in, and the residents decide they don’t care for the “scenery”, where do these people go? oh wait. we don’t care, and we don’t ask those questions. As long as they’re gone and WE don’t have to see them.

    what a world . . .

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