New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Special Employment Opportunity

September 28, 2009 by missheather
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Brooklyn, Manhattan, New York City, Park Slope

The Professor writes:

Hey Heather

I just ran across such a ridiculous Craigslist ad that I thought you might wanna see it. I don’t know that it’s anything you can use for your blog, or whatever, but it’s just such an extensively dumb solicitation that I thought you’d at least get a laugh.

Although, it could be a perfect setup for a big prank…*

Doc writes (in the aforementioned Craigslist advertisement):

Hi. Even for Craig’s List, this is going to be a strange ad. But read on â€“ itâ€™s strange but legit.

I’m a single, straight guy, in my early 40â€™s, recently moved to NYC, with almost no social circle here (and, even worse, I work on my own). No history of mental illnesss, jail time or listening to country music. Moving to NY has been fantastic, but the one thing is, I have been finding it hard to meet women. So Iâ€™m doing the normal, typical, rational thing that any guy in my position would do — I’m looking to hire a female “wingman,” that is, a “wingwoman,” to break the ice for me in social situations.

Strange but true.

This is a real job I’m offering; it’s not a personal ad in disguise, and Iâ€™m not a Nigerian scammer or a reality show producer, either. Perhaps more surprisingly, I’m also not a freak, weirdo or serial killer – I am just not good at walking up to a woman I don’t know and getting beyond “Hi” and I want to do something about it. (Basically, I want to avoid this guyâ€™s fate.)

This would be a part-time, occasional gig. Get-togethers would be in Manhattan or Brooklyn; sometimes weekend afternoons, sometimes evenings. (Generally speaking, NOT in bars or nightclubs. I am more of a Brooklyn Flea / The Moth / Big Terrific / Midsummer Night Swing type of guy. This is also my kind of thing.) Probably 2-5 hours per stint. We would only meet in public places and I would pay you ($20/hour) cash.

And you don’t have to be single or even “unattached” to apply – there’s no “hanky panky” involved. (I really donâ€™t care if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other, as long as that person knows about and is cool with the situation.)

If you want to know more details about the arrangement, check out these articles:

Are You With Him? Why Yes, Want to Date Him?

Wingwomen (8 pages long)…

WOW. I wonder if someone would pay me $20.00 an hour to be a cock blocker or chick repellent. I excel at both. I am a natural. “Doc” has also created a Facebook page which you can peruse by clicking here.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can read “Doc’s” Craigslist ad in its entirety by clicking here or by clicking on the images below. Either way you’ll notice our man “Doc” is very detail-oriented!

P.S. #2: While I am on the subject of meetings and meat-markets, my good friends at Fucked In Park Slope will be hosting a “Meatup” this Wednesday, September 30th at The Bell House. For more information click here. B.Y.O.W. fellas.

*Or more annoying “viral” advertising.

Tags: Craigslist, Fucked In Park Slope

Comments

4 Comments on New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Special Employment Opportunity

bitchcakes on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 8:25 pm

“I wonder if someone would pay me $20.00 an hour to be a cock blocker or chick repellent. I excel at both. I am a natural.” Yet you did nothing to save me from that creepy couple that tried to take me home at The Richardson. Thanks a lot! 😉

I think this ad is legit. I hope it works out for all parties involved!

missheather on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 8:35 pm

You wrote: Yet you did nothing to save me from that creepy couple that tried to take me home at The Richardson. Thanks a lot!

You didn’t ask. 😉

AMOJA on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 9:08 pm

Dear Doc,

Join a New York sports league; kickball and touch football work best. You don’t even have to be good at the sport. Go out afterward and drink with your team. Rinse and repeat.

Sincerely,
AMOJA

ms nomer on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 9:54 pm