Turkey Roasting : Part I
Since I am a vegetarian, I abstain from roasting fowl. Slaying an animal with two legs, wings and a brain the size of a pecan strikes me as being inhumane. However, I am perfectly at ease roasting FOUL: the delightful and very dysfunctional group of people (whose legume-sized brains are rife with greed) who manage the Astral Apartments:
1. Pistilli Realty
2. The ever-famous Porno Super
One would presume this delectable shit hole would merit some civic-oriented reporter’s (or television crew’s) attention. It has all the elements of a good story:
- A beautiful building, a historic landmark no less, going to shit because…
- the owner of said building (Pistilli Reality) has (in all likelihood) leveraged it in order to construct a shit heap of Co-ops that look like a Jawa Sandcrawler.
- And under Pistilli’s employ is a Super who seems reluctant to fix anything. Probably because he is too busy doing softcore porn shoots on the premises*, drinking beer at the front of the building and schmoozing with his buddies.
Alas, it didn’t. Clearly the media cares not to be a watch dog in the public’s interest anymore: they prefer to alarm them about street sneakers instead. No worries, a myspace group has been formed for people afflicted by the malfeasance of Pistilli Realty. My informant writes:
I am one of the many tenants of the Astral. I have recently been forced out of my apartment due to bedbugs and I was hoping you could post this link on your blog. It is a group I’ve started for tenants of the Astral to talk about all of the problems we’ve been dealing with.
If you live in the Astral and are experiencing problems regarding maintenance, bedbugs, or dislike watching half naked chicks posing on the banister of your stairwell, please join this group. The only reason this situation has persisted as long as it has is because:
1. Lack of communication between landlord and tenant. As rent-stabilized tenants you have rights, they are outlined in your lease rider. What’s a rider you ask? It is a document outlining how the rent was calculated for your rent-stabilized apartment (in accordance to increases dictated by the state) and informs you as to what legal recourse you have in the event of:
A. Poor maintenance (HPD, DOB, DHCR)
B. Harassment (HPD, NYC Department of Human Rights)
C. Rental overcharge (DHCR)
Shortly after I saw this truck pumping heating oil into the Astral I learned from a tenant that she had been without hot water for two days. Not only is this disgusting, it is illegal: landlords are required to have hot water at all times. Period.
2. Lack of communication between tenants. The reason shitbags like Pistilli get away with this shit is because they count on ignorance and lack of communication between their tenants. Simple as that.
3. Educate yourself:
Department of Housing and Preservation and Development : all public housing and rent-stabilized apartments are (ostensibly) under their supervision. Don’t let the 311 operator bullshit you.
Department of Buildings: WORTHLESS.
The above (blurry) image is of 143 Huron Street. They were erecting scaffolding until 9:00 p.m. last night. I have called 311 repeatedly about after hours construction. My last complaint was October 16, 2007. It has yet to be investigated.
4. New York’s Bravest (F.D.N.Y): While I do not want to encourage people to call the fire department for housing-related stuff, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the F.D.N.Y. has the authority to report safety hazards to the Department of Buildings. Last year I watched the dickhead behind my behind my building rip the roof off the first story of his building with nary a permit to be found. The Department of Buildings didn’t seem to care, so I called the Fire Department. Why? In so doing he eliminated a second means of egress for three of his tenants. Their fire escape lead into a 20 foot abyss. For 48+ hours.
It got followed up. FAST. Unlike the Department of Buildings, the F.D.N.Y. seems to care about people.
5. Communicate with your neighbors.
Who am I to write the previous, you ask? I have been there— and then some. Greenpoint is full of unscrupulous landlords. The Astral is the most notorious. Has been for a long time…
Models Must Arrive on Time,with Clean Hair and Nails Done.
2-Please put your cell phone on vibrate during the shoot
3-Automatic Cancellation if I don’t receive a callback or confirmation call at least 24 hours before the shoot.