Culture on the Cheap
Yesterday I got a nice chuckle from some good-natured ribbing I received via NYMag’s “Neighborhood Watch”. In fact, I liked it enough to fire off a little email telling them so.
My missive read as follows:
You guys crack me up.
Truth be told, dog shit in Greenpoint is sort of like Jenna Jamesonâ€™s naughty bits: thereâ€™s more than enough of it to go around. In fact, I would go so far as to say the more the merrier.
Later that evening I glanced at my inbox to discover… a response!
Dear Miss Heather:
We’re trying to start a rampant blog fight. Or some sort of Hatfield-McCoy fued among Brooklyn neighborhoods.
Thanks for checking in with us.
I am the kind of person who likes to help others. It is simply my nature. After some serious thought, I fired off a suggestion to my new Internet friend:
My recommendation (in regards to starting an internecine Brooklyn blog shit storm) would be to refer to the area around Montrose Avenue as â€œBushwick*â€. I sâ€™pose if I was duped by some real estate broker into paying an ungodly amount of money to live in that shithole I would be defensive too.
So there you have it, folks.
If anyone from the Daily Intelligencer is reading this, you can make the check payable to “Miss Heather”.
*Because it is. One of my best friends lives down there. She once saw a man applying shellac to dismembered chicken feet for fuck’s sake! Naively, my friend asked this dude if he working on an art project. He wasn’t. Which brings me to the word of the day: Santeria.