MMG Design Leaves Her Calling Card Once Again
I have received numerous inquiries about the welfare of Hard Hat Hannah. From as far as Philadelphia:
…If I was there in Greenpoint, and if there was a city provided white board and marker, I would write â€œFree Hard Hat Hanna(h)!â€ on one repeatedly. Oh where has she gone? have the forces of Permit Violating Evil Doers kidnapped her and bricked (with mis-matching colors of course) her into a basement under one their fedderboxes? Did she naively hitch a ride with a DOB inspectorâ€¦ and end up in the East River? Inquring minds want to know.
To Long Island City:
We need to see Hard Hat Hannah in front of these grotesqueries, with one or both of her wittle thumbs resoundingly DOWN. When is Hannah gonna make her 2008 debut, BTW? Nowâ€™s the perfect time.
It has been a rough patch for Hard Hat Hannah. That first sojourn into the seemingly unregulated no man’s land that is “McCarren Park Heights South” really did a job on her. Being the dutiful, dedicated and incorruptible little building inspector she is, she got depressed. Really depressed.
When Mr. Heather and I found her watching television at 3:00 a.m. with danish filling on her lips and booze on her breath last month, we knew an intervention had to be made. And it was. We decided that it was in her best interest to take a vacation.
That said, Hannah is back and I recently took her with me on my rounds. Aware of her delicate condition, I was gentle with her.
We first went by the “Finger Building”.
While we were there I noticed a young man wearing an ill-fitting suit wielding a clipboard with a map on it.
Miss Heather: This dude is totally a real estate agent learning his “territory”.
Hannah: What makes you think so?
Miss Heather: No one wears a suit in north Brooklyn unless he (or she) intends to profit from the local population’s misery. I once had such a person (wearing a skirt) point to my person and refer to me as being the “new artistic influx” while a bunch of middle-aged men took copious notes on their clipboards.
Hannah: She didn’t acknowledge you as a person?
Miss Heather: No, I was a selling tool.
Next, we checked out 5 Roebling.
Hannah was dismayed to find the fence in a state of disrepair and the gate left wide open.
Later, at 184 Scholes Street, Hannah learned that this is MMG Construction’s modus operandi: wreck ’em and leave ’em wide open.
Notices of violation were served as well.
Click on the above image and check out ECB violations 34611654n and 34611655p yourself. You will go on an Orwellian trip of a distinctly Kafka-esque character.
ECB Violation 34611645n: Violation number not found.
ECB Violation 34611655p: Violation number not found.
DOB Violation VP 011808CO1RG03: Refer to violation #34611655p.
DOB Violation VPW 01180CO1RG02: Refer to violation #34611655p.
George Orwell once wrote:
Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
The Department of Buildings has an online database anyone can access. The purpose of doing so is to (ostensibly) provide the public information. How valuable is this information when one finds himself (or in my case, HERself) hitting a brickwall of “non-existent” violations?
P.S.: Oh yeah, anyone interested in contacting Hannah can do so via email at:
hardhathannah (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com!