MMG Design Leaves Her Calling Card Once Again

January 25, 2008 by
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I have received numerous inquiries about the welfare of Hard Hat Hannah. From as far as Philadelphia:

…If I was there in Greenpoint, and if there was a city provided white board and marker, I would write “Free Hard Hat Hanna(h)!” on one repeatedly. Oh where has she gone? have the forces of Permit Violating Evil Doers kidnapped her and bricked (with mis-matching colors of course) her into a basement under one their fedderboxes? Did she naively hitch a ride with a DOB inspector… and end up in the East River? Inquring minds want to know.

To Long Island City:

We need to see Hard Hat Hannah in front of these grotesqueries, with one or both of her wittle thumbs resoundingly DOWN. When is Hannah gonna make her 2008 debut, BTW? Now’s the perfect time.

It has been a rough patch for Hard Hat Hannah. That first sojourn into the seemingly unregulated no man’s land that is “McCarren Park Heights South” really did a job on her. Being the dutiful, dedicated and incorruptible little building inspector she is, she got depressed. Really depressed.

Hannah eating pasties and swilling booze

When Mr. Heather and I found her watching television at 3:00 a.m. with danish filling on her lips and booze on her breath last month, we knew an intervention had to be made. And it was. We decided that it was in her best interest to take a vacation.

That said, Hannah is back and I recently took her with me on my rounds. Aware of her delicate condition, I was gentle with her.

Hannah and the Finger

We first went by the “Finger Building”.

Hannah and the Suitman

While we were there I noticed a young man wearing an ill-fitting suit wielding a clipboard with a map on it.

Miss Heather: This dude is totally a real estate agent learning his “territory”.
Hannah: What makes you think so?
Miss Heather: No one wears a suit in north Brooklyn unless he (or she) intends to profit from the local population’s misery. I once had such a person (wearing a skirt) point to my person and refer to me as being the “new artistic influx” while a bunch of middle-aged men took copious notes on their clipboards.
Hannah: She didn’t acknowledge you as a person?
Miss Heather: No, I was a selling tool.

Next, we checked out 5 Roebling.

Hannah at 5 Roebling

Hannah was dismayed to find the fence in a state of disrepair and the gate left wide open.

148 Scholes Street

Later, at 184 Scholes Street, Hannah learned that this is MMG Construction’s modus operandi: wreck ’em and leave ’em wide open.

148 Scholes Street Summons

Notices of violation were served as well.

184 Scholes Street Complant, DOB

Click on the above image and check out ECB violations 34611654n and 34611655p yourself. You will go on an Orwellian trip of a distinctly Kafka-esque character.

ECB Violation 34611645n: Violation number not found.
ECB Violation 34611655p: Violation number not found.
DOB Violation VP 011808CO1RG03: Refer to violation #34611655p.
DOB Violation VPW 01180CO1RG02: Refer to violation #34611655p.

George Orwell once wrote:

Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.

The Department of Buildings has an online database anyone can access. The purpose of doing so is to (ostensibly) provide the public information. How valuable is this information when one finds himself (or in my case, HERself) hitting a brickwall of “non-existent” violations?

Miss Heather

P.S.: Oh yeah, anyone interested in contacting Hannah can do so via email at:
hardhathannah (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com!


5 Comments on MMG Design Leaves Her Calling Card Once Again

  1. SouthOfNYC on Fri, 25th Jan 2008 9:47 am
  2. Get well soon Hannah!! It’s great to see you back on your feet again, well… sort of… assuming you have feet. Please try not to get depressed. Please, don’t become a Heineken girl.

    Remember that line from the movie “A Few Good Men”, paraphrased, “You know deep down in places we dont talk about at parties, we don’t want you on that wall, we NEED you on that wall” or at *that* fence as the case may be…

  3. rexlic on Fri, 25th Jan 2008 10:46 am
  4. Welcome back, HHH (and I don’t mean the former Veep, for whom a North Brooklyn-level ugly as shit sports arena is named for in Minneapolis). Am I mistaken, or are you giving the finger to the “Finger Building”? Do tell.

  5. judes on Fri, 25th Jan 2008 10:53 am
  6. Thanks for looking out for us, Hannah!

  7. vintagejames on Fri, 25th Jan 2008 11:38 am
  8. The DOB is a mutual admiration society for bad architects. Run by architects for architects. You want info on violations? Rarely going to happen.

  9. rowan on Fri, 25th Jan 2008 1:35 pm
  10. hurrah she’s back! perhaps Hannah would like to check out 116 (i think) India. Their fence is superb. No idea what is happening in the lot behind it, since they tore that house down in November. There is also a lack of doom-mongering poetry on the fence, too. Too bad. Made it interesting.

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