Southside Soap Opera

March 25, 2008 by
Filed under: Williamsburg 

The “southside” of Williamsburg is not a place I like to frequent. The ungodly amount of traffic, noise and invasive construction makes my person avoid it almost every time. Almost. On a lark I walked through this neighborhood today and learned what I have been missing.

South 6th Street

Please do NOT

This is what I call a multi-purpose sign. The author of this tome has a number of issues he (or she) wishes to address. Among them are:

  1. Bikes chained to fences
  2. Improper disposal of dog shit

    BAR HOPPING
  3. Drunken chicanery.

Who knew Billyburg south of the bridge was so exciting? Well, it is. And then some.

Broadway

Do not date…

I found this degraded flier of degradation and excess attached to a Fed-Ex drop box a block away. While a number of crucial elements were missing the message was more or less intact, e.g.;

  • Do not date this man because…
  • he “plays on women’s sympathies” and
  • is a “liar, mooch, cheat”

This describes a number of men I have met in New York Shitty. Thankfully the woman who created this public service announcement highlighted a couple distinguishing characteristics of this loathsome Lothario so as to help her sisters cull the dating pool.

UP HIS ASS

Bulging eyeballs and an affection for having dildoes shoved up his ass.

That should narrow down things a bit.

The Southside is much more interesting than I ever imagined. I’ll have to go back there more often.

With a strap-on.

Miss Heather

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