From The New York Shitty Pool: Red Gate Garden

Taken by Miss Mousey Brown.

Miss Heather

Greenburg Photo Du Jour: Red Gate Garden

A pair of mockingbirds have decided to call Red Gate Garden (which is still waiting to have its Green Thumb paperwork renewed) their home. What’s more, I’m pleased to report they’ve started a family!

Miss Heather

LAST GASP: It’s My Park Day At Red Gate Garden

I am certain many of you are all too aware that tomorrow is Kite Day at McCarren Park. What you may not know is that Red Gate (AKA: Nick’s Garden, which has been the source of controversy lately) will be open tomorrow from noon until 4:00 p.m. For those of you who have wondered about this Green Thumb garden this is an excellent opportunity to check it out, meet the people behind it and learn how you can get involved. Otherwise, I have it on very good intelligence that the Red Gate peeps are working on an online presence where you can get more information about the park, e.g.; its history, hours and much much more! In the meantime why not swing by tomorrow, see it in person and say “hi”?

It’s My Park Day At Red Gate Garden
May 15, 2010 Noon – 4:00 p.m.
McCarren Park, Bayard Street at Lorimer Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Miss Mousey Brown

Greenburg Photos Du Jour: Red Gate Garden

Anyone who wishes to get involved with this community garden should contact Walid Mokh or Meredith Chesney (who took the above photographs and many, many more) via the contact information on the above flier. Thanks!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Gate On Java Street?


Mike (who sent me the above photograph) writes:

I was walking down by West and Java today and noticed someone is putting up a metal gate leading down to the water. Is this the same spot where the city tore down the gate (to ensure our access to the “water front”) over the summer if I’m not mistaken?

Intrigued, I moseyed down to Java Street this afternoon to see what’s up. Contrary to what Mike thought, this fence (which as some of you may recall, was issued an order by the Department of Transportation to be removed because it ostensibly blocked waterfront access. I think this is a bit of an exaggeration, but illegal is illegal…) was not going up: it was coming down.


To close on West Street related news I am pleased to announce the crumbling construction fences I wrote about in this post have been repaired.


It should also be noted the owner of the above property (174 West Street, which is located between Green and Huron Street) has been issued a summons for (and I quote) “failure to maintain adequate housekeeping”. How do I know this, you ask? Let’s just say the word is on the street.



I’ll leave it to your respective powers of deduction, dear readers, to figure out what the brown smudge is on this document.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Dogate


Lest I have not made it clear already OSA North Brooklyn has a suspicious provenance, has been less than forthcoming about their mission (to put it politely) and how they are spending the money our elected officials (READ: our tax dollars) have donated to them.

I cannot for the life of me understand why a “community advocacy” group affiliated with the Parks Department can raise money by having concerts and make a nice penny selling concession rights shilling alcoholic beverages at McCarren and East River State Park…


when the patrons of McGolrick Park are admonished to abstain: in English and Polish.


I suppose the “open container law” applies to some citizens more than others. Or as long as folks are swilling booze sanctioned by/profiting the city (or OSA)? Remember, the President of Brooklyn Brewery is one of their founding members) I suppose it’s A-OK? Can you say hypocrisy? This whole set-up reeks of graft.

OSA outlays money to hang advertisements on private property, facing public property (in this case East State River Park)…


and cries “poverty” when it comes a new fence at the McCarren Park Dog Run. McGolrick gets a new fence and McCarren gets Sternberg’s leftovers. I could not understand why this came to pass— McCarren needs help. BIG TIME. Then I remembered that I am (for all intents and purposes) an honest person. I put on my “tweeder” thinking cap and re-read this exchange.

The following missive put it all together:


This has nothing to do the the betterment of the community. It is patronage mutual backslapping, plain and simple. McGolrick gets $13,000 and McCarren gets a paltry $500. The latter phat wad of cash was to be divided between “the two leaders” volunteers who are going to weld together the remains of Sternberg’s fence at McCarren; they get $200 each, and $100 for “little bro helper”. “Little bro helper”, for those of you who are not in the know, is Ms. Thayer’s little brother whose sole qualifications are:

  1. Being Ms. Thayer’s little brother.
  2. Taking a welding class.

If a Parks employee/OSA Executive has sent an email indicating her own brother should be compensated $100 for doing no work whatsoever how many more of her friends are on the dole? Just a question.

On that note, I strongly encourage you, dear readers, to revisit the post mentioned at the beginning of this post. I have made some very interesting corrections/amendments— including what appears to be the “Pete Best” of the original OSAnb group. Contrary to what Mr. Short wrote, Adam Perlmutter was not one of the original founders of OSAnb. But this document seems to attest otherwise. Hmm…

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 7/30/09: Be sure to read the comments. Suffice it to say it keeps getting more and more interesting!

UPDATE, 8/3/09: The Greenpoint Gazette has this take about the fencing situation. Choice quote:

…Currently, the fencing surrounding the McCarren Park dog run is a combination of chain-link fence, temporary wire barriers and historical black iron fencing the iron fencing makes up nearly three quarters of the hodge-podge partition. Recently the Park’s Department decided to standardize the fences in Sternberg Park as well, and in doing so uprooted a portion of black iron fencing, which will in turn be installed in McCarren, to match the already existing iron fencing stock.

Actually Diana Reyna gave $40,000 to Sternberg to buy a new fence. It IS an election year after all.

SCADGate: The Conclusion

May 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

scadthumbThis morning I was reminded that all good things— even a curious case of a lifetime achievement award in inexplicably found in traffic triangle in Greenpoint— must come to end. Rebecca11222 writes:

Well, a pall hangs over the apartment today: the SCAD Lifetime Achievement Award has been returned to it’s rightful owner: Sidney Lumet’s publicist.

The kind people at SCAD and the Savannah Film Festival arranged for postage and packing materials. I just wrapped it & then dropped it off at FedEx.

I received some awesome SCAD booty (travel cup & tee-shirt) for my trouble. AND an offer from the director of the SFF to host me in Savannah should I like to visit.  But the apartment feels empty, somehow.

See attached for photo of Sanford with the travel cup.


I suspect I speak for everyone (except perhaps Sanford, who appears to be less than impressed with the reward reaped by his owner’s good deed) to learn this story has a happy ending. If that award could talk I imagine it would have an interesting tale to tell. But alas, it is keeping its silence and we will have to be content with the whiff of serendipity it brought our lives. Bon voyage, prodigal lifetime achievement award! I hope you enjoyed your stay in the Garden Spot of the Universe.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: The SCADgate Saga Continues!

April 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

scadthumbI have a confession to make: the last several days I have been down in the dumps. God only knows I have been given ample enough reason to feel this way. The good news is the good days are far outnumbering the bad one nowadays. Still, the dreary weather of late hasn’t not helped matters much. Yours truly prefers a hefty helping of sunshine to Seattlesque gloom any day. Fortunately I found a ray of sunshine in my inbox last night. It comes from an ombudsman of Savannah College of Art & Design and yes it pertains to the Greenpoint gift that keeps on giving: Sidney Lumet’s recently discovered Lifetime Achievement Award.

My name is Trey (excised) and I am an ombudsman at the Savannah College of Art and Design. I would very much like to follow-up with your friend Rebecca11222 about the Sidney Lumet award that was found. I am sorry to hear that someone at the college was not responsive to her report of having found this item. The college is interested in helping the award find its way back to Mr. Lumet and I would like to help facilitate this. Could you forward this note to your friend and ask her to contact me?

I hope that you are enjoying New York and that your readership of the blog is strong. (Thanks! — Ed. Note) If I can ever help you from my office in Savannah to take care of any business you may have with the college please let me know and I will try to assist.



Needless to say I was more than happy to forward his missive to Rebecca. Where is this most Greenpoint glorious tale of inexplicably misplaced property headed? Only time will tell. In the meantime I have two questions:

  1. How the hell did this award find its way to a traffic triangle in Greenpoint in the first place?
  2. I wonder if this Trey chap* would be willing to talk to my artistic alma mater about the alumni mailings I have been receiving from them? Namely pointing out the fact that although I cherish the education I received at their institution the fact of the matter is a woman with FIVE FIGURES OF STUDENT LOAN DEBT does not have sufficient liquidity to throw three figure donations their direction. Much less the money to spare for $80.00 per ticket reunions. That kind of money buys a LOT of Carlo Rossi which, for the record, is Chez Shitty’s primary liquid asset!

Miss Heather

*Who strikes me as an amazingly nice guy.


May 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Last week some of you might recall I noticed something bearing a strong resemblance to a gopher strapped to a fence behind the bath house on Huron Street. Well, lest any of you have been wondering, it’s still there.

What’s more, some sucker lucky guy or gal who buys this unit at the Viridian is going to get a particularly scenic view. I really like this photo. It almost looks like this little critter is riding a magic carpet.

Or trying to escape.

Take your pick.

Miss Heather

Ghetto-gate Update

September 15, 2006 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 


After seven days of construction constriction, I am finally regaining my sense of humor. I have no doubt that sleep deprivation and consuming ample amounts of Budweiser* have helped me get back to my usual beatific state. There is a certain dark humor to be found in my predicament: the recent ‘improvements’ going on around me (in the name of ‘gentrification’) are the very reason for my diminished quality of life. “Progress” has my rendered my apartment (which one would presume to be my place of refuge) downright unbearable of late.

Thankfully, the rain has given me a reprieve from any construction-related rooftop hijinks the last 24 hours. Other than the soapy smell of glue** wafting from the untreated plywood behind my apartment or the occasional “pop” made by a(nother) piece of plywood warping, it has been fairly peaceful. I have even managed to get some work done.

Mr. Markowitz, I have the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint on line one…
After running errands this morning I arrived home to find an email from a Ms. Luyando from the Brooklyn Borough President’s office in my inbox. I had honestly forgotten about the crazed missive I had sent to Mr. Markowitz’s office last Saturday, so this was a pleasant surprise. Ms. Luyando asked me for some additional information (which in my rage I had forgotten to provide, but then again jpegs like this speak for themselves) and she gave me a case number. I gave her the information she requested and told her she could consult my blog ( for images of the questionable construction I was complaining about.

I can only hope she (or one of her assistants) did so. If I were (still) a civil servant I would be overjoyed at the prospect of being paid to parse through pictures of dog crap and blog posts with titles as “Hot in the Ass”.

Otherwise, I am going back on the beat and am currently planning a trek to a very special part of Greenpoint. I spent two (LONG) years of my life in the area I plan to showcase and suspect it will be quite the fruitful snootful. (It was awful then and I see no reason why it would be any better now.) I also plan to do some much needed troubleshooting/maintenance to New York Shitty and add new links to my blogroll this weekend, so stay tuned!

Miss Heather

*The Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint’s drink of choice is the King of Beers. For obvious reasons.

**My husband says it is formaldehyde. He was a finish carpenter once, so I guess he would know.

Photo Credit: I found this genuine vomi de l’artiste (the presence of red wine is a dead giveaway) in front of 123-125 Green Street.

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