Bed-Stuy Photo du Jour: Lost on Madison Street

February 18, 2008 by
Filed under: Bed-Stuy 

Recently Larry da Junkman, a few customers and I had a discussion about geography at the junk shop. More specifically, we were marveling over the fact that (purportedly) one in five Americans cannot find the United States on a map. The Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina’s take on this damning statistic is already well known. Mine, however, is not. Here it is:

Most people can’t find their ass with both hands. Expecting them to comprehend a map is hopeless.

Of all the natural resources America has at its disposal I am shocked and amazed we have ignored the largest: the seemingly endless number of incredibly stupid and uneducated people who populate our landscape. Right now these people hold jobs (like President) which are completely unsuitable for their unique skill set.

In the Middle Ages every village had its idiot. These hardworking individuals provided the community with no end of mirth. What I propose is that this vital sinecure not only be revived (we need all the laughs we can get nowadays), but we provide our newly-appointed jesters a little assistance getting around.

Where to go

Nice big signs with nice large text… perfect! Who would bother with a map when he (or she) can use this handy helper instead?


Need to get to Switzerland? No problem: turn left after you reach Korea.

Miss Heather


One Comment on Bed-Stuy Photo du Jour: Lost on Madison Street

  1. SouthOfNYC on Mon, 18th Feb 2008 10:31 am
  2. To capture the spirit of things though, someone will have to add a “directional arrow” that always points to the person looking at labelled “Your Ass” perhaps about 2 1/2 – 3 feet off the ground?

    Funny just this morning I was commenting on a coworker’s “lack of directional sense” and said, “it’s a miracle they can even find the bathroom each morning.” Sad how things are.

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