Miss Heather’s Home for Sick, Unwanted, and Crippled Dildonics

Hello, this is Miss Heather. Most of you know me as the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint (or simply “bitch”). Raising awareness of New York Shitty’s unattended dog crap problem is but only one of my pet causes. The purpose of this page is to tell you about something that is very near to my heart: the plight of unwanted and ailing dildonics that wander our city streets.

If someone threw a bag of kittens into the river, the public (rightfully) would be outraged. What about the legions of Destroyers, Squirmy Rooters, Testicular Stimulators, Electric Stroke Masters and butt plugs (non-skid and otherwise) that are abused and thrown away in this city every day? Who is doing anything to help them? Me, that’s who.

The purpose of this page is triple-fold:

  1. To raise awareness about this terrible social problem by
  2. showcasing examples of dildonic abuse and
  3. hopefully find homes for these terribly maltreated appliances.

Thank you for your attention to this very serious matter.


Miss Heather

Meet “Magic”

Magic Headshot

This great gal hails all the way from Big D where she was found behind a grassy knoll. Despite being injured, she was very protective of her pups.

Magic Nursing

As you can tell from the above photo, she sustained an injury to her breach. After giving her a good crab dip I had to put a collar on her to keep her from scratching herself too much. “Magic” and her brood will be available for adoption once she is done weaning (“Oswald”, the runt, is frolicking bottom center in the above photo. Can you say cute!). Otherwise, “Magic” can be a little skittish at first but if you rub her right, she’ll purr for hours.

Meet “Manhattan”

Meet Manhattan

This is arguably one of the worst cases of abuse I have ever seen. Some sick individual saw fit to mutilate “Manhattan” beyond recognition by turning him into a rocket…

Manhattan Recovering

and launching him with a defective parachute. When I found him he was in pretty bad shape cowering behind a pipe (Warning: this image might too graphic for some viewers). I wish I could get my hands on the person monster who did this. Whoever is interested in giving “Manhattan” a home must be a seasoned dildonics professional, as he has a number of health and behavioral problems as a result of this shocking act of abuse.

Anyone interested in “Magic”, her pups or “Manhattan” can contact me via email at:

missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com.

And lastly: if you see a sex toy in distress, SAY SOMETHING.

To Miss Heather, naturally.

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