Shit Parade

May 29, 2007 by
Filed under: Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

This morning I awakened to discover a staggering assortment of blue-chip shit waiting for me in my inbox. One or two of them literally left me speechless. Here is the first installment, which was submitted by a gentleman named Jon Feinstein. It’s some seriously amazing stuff shit which I have taken the liberty of annotating for your amusement. Enjoy!

Manhattan
27th Street between 6th and 7th Avenue

yin/yang

I took a dump that looked just like this before viewing this image. A pretty uncanny coincidence if you ask me, but then again this is the usual by-product when one mixes margaritas with homemade salsa the previous evening. I did stick to using conventional toilet paper to wipe my bum, though. My socks simply have too many holes in them.

Park Slope Shit

Yourfuture…

The title of this one is “Your future does not have to be a mystery”. This is a reference to the ad copy on the flyer next to this gargantuan lump of shit. If this woman was a bona fide clairvoyant, she would have placed a flyer reading “Warning, I see a pile of shit in your future” ten feet in front of this bad boy. I am certain the person who (clearly) stepped in this puddle of puddin’ would agree with me.

Boerum Hill
Near Wyckoff Avenue

Portable outhouse

You gotta give the guy credit: at least he did it in a bucket. This reminds me of a story someone I went to graduate school with once told me. He grew up in a subdivision in Topeka, Kansas. One his neighbors decided to quit paying their water bill, and as a result, their water was turned off. Instead of using the toilet (which was rendered useless by lack of water) the entire family shit in buckets. When the bucket was full, they placed it in the garage. By the time these people were finally ejected from the property (by the city) the entire garage was filled with buckets ‘o’ shit. Maybe this family has moved to Boerum Hill?

Gowanus Pool Entrance

Shit on the wall

Looks like our neighbors to south like to throw them some D’s too!

Thank again Jon for the tasty turds! Another select morsel will be featured tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Miss Heather

Comments

2 Comments on Shit Parade

  1. deathgod99 on Sun, 3rd Jun 2007 4:06 pm
  2. How are you sure you don’t shit like a dog? Canny coincidence

  3. missheather on Sun, 3rd Jun 2007 4:53 pm
  4. I suspect the purpose of your comment, “Deathgod99″, is to insult me. Moving forward, you should be advised that this is a very difficult thing to do. I laugh at myself as much if not more so than anything/anyone else. I am the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint, after all.

    Life is pretty silly when you think about it. Lighten up and laugh a little.

    P.S.: Technically speaking, it would be “uncanny coincidence”. Look it up.

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