Kent Street Cocksucker
Firstly, I’d like to give props to Jake Dobkin and Jen Chung at Gothamist for mentioning New York Shitty in a recent feature about (what else) dog shit*. It pleases me to no end to know that when people think of dog shit, they think of me. Speaking as a woman who has been a colossal misfit her entire life, this is a big step up from the nasty (and numerous) epithets I have been called over the years. I have generously offered both Jen and Jake a complimentary pair of Poopyhead panties as a token of my gratitude.
That said, I got up bright and early this morning to go for a walk. Snow works wonders for this ‘hood: it makes even the biggest eyesores palatable, if not beautiful. I also hoped to find an especially provocative offering for today’s post. I did.
This cluster of crap can be found at the northeastern corner of Kent and West Street. Unlike the rest of the block, this area is bereft of snow due to recently-erected scaffolding. This has got to be the most striking example of exactly how FUCKING LAZY the dog owners are hereabouts that I have ever encountered.
I can halfway understand why some people get lax when their doggie dumps in several inches of snow. I don’t condone this behavior, mind you; I simply “get it”. Nothing more. The above shitpile, on the other hand, is fucking ridiculous. If anyone deserves a $250 fine (and good kick to the ‘nads) for failing to curb their dog, it’s this asshole.
*Be sure to read the comments, some of them are priceless. Here’s my favorite:
So who’s gonna pay the fine for not scoopin’ up the big fuckin’ TURD we have in the White House?
P.S.: Here’s an extra treat! Yellow snow from 212 Green Street. Snowcones, anyone?